Do you sometimes feel like parenthood is one big guilt trip?

[NotInTheMood]

and fraught with so many decisions and stresses that it can be over whelming. Neither of my pregnancys where easy and the result led to prem babies. And although they are fine and healthy both have speech and language problems.

My eldest is struggling badly at school and im not sure if he is getting the help he needs and so having to look into it and push for things. Im now looking into other schools as well but feel bad about moving him as he is settled. On top of that I feel guilty about my pregnancy and how this could of effected him as I had pre-eclampsia and was on tons of meds. For not pushing harder with the hv when i thought he may have speech promblems which then meant he had to wait longer to see SALT as the waiting list was high back then.

And now im having the same with ds2 who is struggling to settle into pre-school and cried his eyes out when i left this am.Its a lovely pre-school and i really did research it. Ive also just found out that theres a pre-school a 15 minute drive away which has a specialist speech and language unit run by I-CAN its fairly new so had no website but was never even mentioned to me by SALT. So im funming has SALT diagnosed him and said he was too young for therapy so left it at that until he's older if he does'nt improve. I actually talked to her about pre-schools and she said the one had chosen was very nice and friendly which is great. But if theres a specialist one why didn't they recommend it grrrrr. Now im trying to find out more and get him on the waiting list which agin means taking him out which i didn't want to do.

I just feel like im trying my best and trying to make the right decision and do what is best for my boys but it isn't good enough.

poor you, you are onbivously up against it and no wonder you feel stressed

I have to say that from reading your post, you are clearly doing your absolute best - you are on the ball, sensitive to your children's needs and feelings and doing EVERYTHING you possibly can for them

Please don't feel guilty about your pregnancy! Deep down you know that is unfair and rubbish, don't you? I know where you are coming from, I have an autistic child and I had pre-eclampsia and diabetes and he was premature and in SCBU. I have Officially Given Up torturing myself about it and you need to do the same. These are not things we did, they are things that happened to us. Sometimes blaming ourselves is a way of asserting control over something that we were completely unable to control. You did not cause the problems your children are having.

Speech and language problems are very common among young children. And they LOOK more common because more parents - like you - are on the ball and are prepared to struggle to get early help.

You are doing all the right things. Honestly.

onbivously

that serves me right for using the word "obviously" anyway!

Thankyou think things are getting on top of me especially when people who are ment to be helping and are not.Im feelin let down and then feel like im letting the boys down. Ds had his school report on friday and although they describe him as a lovely little boy which im rpud of in terms of work and progress it was very negative and his preformance is well below average. Just feel like its a constant battle and all all completely new to me.