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Parenting

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Original poster

So scary

14 replies

Kirisox · 03/04/2011 22:43

DS is nine weeks old, and I've suddenly been seized by the intense fear of anything bad ever happening to him....
I'm a rational, sensible person, and I know he will have illnesses, accidents and such like, but I can't even express how much I want him to be safe and happy and healthy.
It's just come as a shock to me, obviously I knew I would be protective of him, but wow, such feelings!

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lookingfoxy · 04/04/2011 00:07

Yip, welcome to motherhood!!
Part and parcel im afraid, it does fade over time to a reasonable degree.

madhattershouse · 04/04/2011 00:09

You will find it passes....in about 25 years time (if you are lucky)

ColdHeartedBitch · 04/04/2011 00:16

Depends on the child. i am more laid back these days but only because i have a risk taking child and would have had a nervous breakdown otherwise.

Practise these phrases
"If he hurts himself, he will only do it once"
"If you are big enough to get yourself up there you are big enough to figure out a way back down"
"The sign of a good holiday can be seen in the tan lines, bruises and scrapes"

It is a very scarey feeling when it first hits you. But it is amazing. As said previously it will calm down in intensity level, but ds is 6 and i still worry about him in the night. I still have to just check if i am up. Wouldnt have it any other way. love the kid to bits, even if he drives me mad sometimes.

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Original poster

Kirisox · 04/04/2011 10:00

Thanks all, Coldhearted I will rehearse those phrases and use them religiously!

OP posts:

canoe · 04/04/2011 10:12

I can absolutely understand your feelings kiri My DS is 7 weeks old and i keep having these horrible visions of bad things happening to him, although mostly me dropping him, or not hearing him crying etc. But i think that's first time mother nerves

I'm also usually very sensible and rational, I lead a very outdoory lifestyle and totally accept that accidents and injuries happen so have been a bit surprised by how strongly i feel about this!

Those are good phrases to practice, especially like the holiday one, it very much sums up my feelings of a good trip mountain biking, paddling, camping etc

matana · 04/04/2011 10:30

What lookingfoxy said. Shortly after DS was born i used to cry at the thought of anything bad ever happening to him, either by accident or at the hands of others. It was around the time of the Eastenders storyline, which didn't help! Largely it was down to baby blues, but i still marvel at the depth of feeling i have towards him. If anyone ever hurt him i wouldn't just want to kill them, i'd actually make it as long and drawn out as possible. A terrible, terrible thing to think and i never used to think this way, nor imagine i ever would!

Octaviapink · 04/04/2011 12:29

Me too. I'm alarmed by how protective I feel about my DCs sometimes - I genuinely feel like if someone harmed them I would do my level best to kill them, and I find the thought of someone even upsetting them to be almost physically painful.

Mahraih · 04/04/2011 13:33

Yep, me too. I have very vivid 'visions' of some mad axeman coming and hurting DS. To the point where I will avoid anyone who looks vaguely 'axey' on the bus. Even old grannies are suspect!

And yes, if anyone did hurt him, I would end them.

abenstille · 04/04/2011 21:48

I was terrified of carrying my baby downstairs (narrow and steepish) and every single time would have a vision of s slipping and fallimg at the bottom. She's 18mths now and thats wore off, but other horrid visions lurk...

SlightlyB0nkers · 05/04/2011 06:36

Yes Ive turned into a mamma bear too. It's amazing how protective I feel of her.

I used to have nightmares about dropping her. Horrible. But maybe it made me be more careful when holding her. Especially on the changing table.

Goblinchild · 05/04/2011 07:35

It doesn't wear off people, even when they are bigger than you.
You just learn to hide it a bit better, but the Fury is still there when your baby is threatened, even if she's 20.

mousesma · 05/04/2011 07:49

I'm the same with my DD and even now at 9 months still have to touch her when she is sleeping to check she is OK. It used to drive my DH mad when she was younger because I was forever waking her up by checking on her.

ColdHeartedBitch's advice is excellent and the intensity of the worry will reduce with time, don't forget lack of sleep makes any anxious feelings feel more heightened as well. However if the anxiety does ever get to an unbearable level (which it probably won't) then don't be afraid to talk to a HCP because it can be treated and you don't have to just live with it.

cory · 05/04/2011 07:50

It does get easier though. I still feel protective of my big 14yo but it has to be bigger things to get my emotions going these days: a burnt finger or a teacher being curt with her won't do it these days. I am beginning to see her more like someone on a par with myself ("I wouldn't make a fuss over that") and am well aware that she is, in many ways, more competent than I was at that age- and I survived. It is very reassuring when you start seeing them grow up able to handle things for themselves.

thinkingkindly · 05/04/2011 10:24

It's partly nature's way of making you take good care of your baby - you become hypersensitive, and aware of all kinds of horrific outcomes, which has the effect of making you draw your baby just that bit closer to you.

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