starting nursery

[crouchendparent]

My PFB DS, 2.8, is starting nursery 2 afternoons a week in a few weeks. He's been to playgroup before, with his nanny (in a nanny share, most of the time with just one other child a year older). He's never been on his own in a "group" environment, and I'm worrying!

DS is pretty rules-based, and he tends to get quite peeved and go running to the nearest "authority" figure if he thinks people aren't sharing nicely or if someone pushes/hits him. THis is something I've noticed on playdates etc - the other kids, who've all been at nursery a day or two a week since being quite small, tend to just pile in and get on with it, whereas DS is very much leaning on adults to save him when things don't go his way. Don't get me wrong, he's absolutely lovely, but I am just scared that he's not going to fit in and the other kids/staff will think he's an annoying little tattle-tale.

Please reassure - I don't want to stop telling him to share nicely and not to hit/push etc, as I'm proud of how good he is (most of the time). (If he doesn't share, or does hit, I tend to "make" him or ask him to say sorry to the other child.) On the other hand, I don't want him ostracized at the age of 2 because he isn't able to stick up for himself or just get on with it when other children don't want to share.

bump?

I don't think other children are going to "ostracise him for being a tell-tale" at the age of 2 - they won't even know what one is, surely?

I'm sure the staff will be encouraging him in how to resolve his differences directly with other children rather than getting them involved all the time :) Don't worry!

That's exactly what nursery will help with, OP. And if he likes rules and structure, he will like the routine (which is usually the same each day).

I guess it's true they won't know what a tell-tale is - I don't know, I just watch him sometimes at get-togethers with other mums, and he doesn't sort of get involved, he's very much on the outside and the others seem to make little gangs and play games together, which he doesn't do at all. He's OK if it's just one other child, but in groups he doesn't seem to get on as well. I guess he will get used to it.

I really remember struggling at pre-school at the age of 3 and being on the outside of every group, so maybe I'm projecting!

If you are concerned you could ask the nursery staff to keep an eye out and try and ensure he gets involved. But I think the other posts are right that nursery is probably just what he needs in order to learn to play and interact and resolve issues without an adult.

Thanks for the replies. I'm sure I'm just being over-anxious. I might speak to the nursery staff just so they know to expect a pompous little visit or two from a small boy saying "X isn't sharing" or "Y pushed me off the slide" or whatever!