Should I take DS to see a clinical psychologist??

[sleepyhorse]

My son is going to be 3 in May, he doesn't talk much yet and has just started seeing a language and speech therapist. He says about 10 -15 single words but seems to understand quite a lot.. I know it is quite common for boys to be delayed in talking especially compared to girls but we are worried that the problem is deeper than that. When you speak to him he doesn't react or look at you and when you tell him off (which seems to be a lot lately as he has become very naughty which could be down to jealously of younger sibling) he doesn't seem to get it. He does play with other children a bit and can be very affectionate but he doesn't seem to be progressing in his development. Even the L&S therapist says he isn't giving as much eye contact as he should be for a child of his age. I have booked him in for a hearing test too.I know that something isn't right, Im so worried and scared about finding out the truth as can't face someone telling me my child has learning difficulties but know Im being selfish by putting it off. What should I do??

I would ask for a referal to a paediatrician. Does your ds attend pre school? If so ask them to prepare a report for you on their observations. If your ds does need additional help then it is better to get things in motion sooner rather than later

I understand your fears I'm in the process of getting my 3 year old assessed. I want to bury my head in the sand but I know that he needs me to get things rolling now if he's going to have the best opportunities and support. Once you know where the real issues lie you can get an idea of how to move forward

Thanks for your advice ConnorTraceptive - it's so hard isn't it. I get so down about it as just want everything to be perfect for DS...life is tough enough as it is without this isn't it. Whats kind of problems is your son having if you don't mind me asking?

My Best friends son was like this at two,but much more extreme,with no language to speak of.At first they thought it was a hearing issue, but he was eventually diagnosed with autism.He is at the severe end of the scale, but even if your son does have an autistic spectrum disorder,he may be at the other end of the scale,and getting help really can really make a difference.He may have hearing issues,or a host of things which are easy to help. He is only two,and that is good,as if he is a bit behind in some ways getting help now ,as you are,will give him the best chance. I think your GP is the first port of call- have you chatted to her/him yet? I hope it is something minor.

His speech is delayed although it is making progress since he started speech therapy. He has delayed attention and listening skills and very much has his own agenda! His eye contact is reduced but not totally absent. If you have his interest he will make eye contact. His understanding is much better than his speech but it is hard to assess exactly how much he understands. He understands enough to follow instructions but doesn't seem to grasp reasoning such as you can't go outside it's raining.

If ask a direct question such as do you want orange juice or apple juice he will answer but questions like what's your name or what did you do at school today get no response at all.

I'm thinking ahead in terms of when he starts school if he does have additional needs them identified and support in place well in advance. I don't want him to get lost in the school system.

Do you have a surestart centre near you. They are a great resource for accessing advice and run a lot a sessions that may benefit your ds.

ConnorTraceptive that sounds exactly like my son. Do you have other younger children? If so do you think it could be a psycological problem - i.e jealousy of siblings as I have heard of a case before where they refuse to speak as they are so affected by new sibling??

Not heard of surestart centre - i will ask my health visitor when i see her on Monday. Do you find it difficult at the mo meeting up with other mums and toddlers as all just becomes rather stressful i find?

hellymelly - yes I have considered that there is a possibility he might be autistic but that will be my worst nightmare as want him to have a normal life and go to normal school etc so can't really deal with that thought right now although i know im going to have to start preparing mentally myself incase it is

No I have an older son and he is fine infact he is the absolute opposite.

I'm not so interested in a specific label for my son but I do want to know exactly where his issues are and to address them to improve his chances of catching. I guess the way I'm looking at it is that areas of his development are delayed and delay to me just means that you get there eventually just not at the same time as everyone else!

It's hard to be positive but I honestly feel better for taking control of the situation as much as possible.

But yes my head is still half buried and although I am constantly discussing ds with health professionals and the school I have spoken about it at all with family or friends. They don't even know we've had any appointments.

He can still go to mainstream school.

Some situations I find stressful usually when it requires structure or sitting still. General free play at toddler groups are fine he plays happily alOngside but not really with other kids.

Try to be as open as you can with your health visitor and insist on a referal

ConnorTraceptive - you have a great attitude and you are a real inspiration - I have taken a lot of comfort and strength from what you have said. Thank you!

Being on the autistic spectrum doesn't rule out mainstream school at all though,only if a child is at the severe end of it.Plenty of Aspergers children are fine at school with support ,and have friends/partners/children/jobs, all the things you would want for your child. It is a sliding scale,rather than an absolute door closing. Anyway it may well be something else,it is mainly the eye contact issue that is similar to the child I know,but you haven't mentioned anything else that suggests autism (hand flapping, lining up toys, needing routine,very narrow range of food,constant waking and screaming were some of the other things that my friend's Ds was doing).I am not an expert on autism by any means as the only child I know is this one,so don't take my comment as any indication that that is the likely problem.

I don't always feel so positive I worry about my lovely little boy everyday and would happily wrap us in a bubble so he didn't have to be hurt by the outside world. I do get scared for the future and if you search my name you will find my original thread about ds's speech. I was feeling very much like you and had some fantastic advice from other mner's on here. There are people on here with far more knowledge than me so I'm sure if you keep posting plenty of advice will be forthcoming.

Am off to bed but do keep us posted on how you get on with your hv.

hellybelly - thanks for your advice. It's good to hear this as I don't know much about autism and don't think I have ever known an autistic child. No he doesn't do hand flapping or lining up toys (if anything he likes to throw toys!) but he is quite fussy with his food although I think I might be partly to blame for that as probably should have been stricter from the beginning as to what he should and shouldn't eat. Im definately going to seek some professional help. When you say needing routine - what do you mean? Don't most kids thrive off routine?

Yes,they do,but the boy I know would have a complete meltdown in the car if they drove by a different or unfamiliar route- that sort of need for routine,rather than the normal toddler thing of thriving on a day to day routine of mealtimes/naps etc. most two year olds are fussy with food,(apprently my DH lived on salami/flatbread and little else for a year) but the boy I know would only eat literally a handful of things,and only with the right packaging-e.g. he liked raisins,but only the ones in the red boxes with the lady on,any other box would cause him to scream. He would only watch very specific videos and watched them over and over again.He would watch things spinning etc, mesmerised . They wrote a book about him,here www.amazon.co.uk/Real-Boy-Autism-Shattered-Family/dp/1843172666/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1301700285&sr=8-1 . Which is a very touching and funny book btw, even if you aren't a parent of an autistic child.
Your Son doesn't sound as though he has anything like the difficulties that my friend's son had,if it wasn't for the eye contact issue,he would sound to me much like any other toddler,just a bit late to talk. I do think that a paediatrician is the way forward though,as they will properly assess him and you will have your mind put at rest,or you will have help in place if he needs a bit extra (and many children need extra support at some point anyway).

ConnorTraceptive - I just read up on your original thread and yes you did indeed get some great advice! How did you get on with those books you bought that someone recommended? Am thinking of getting them myself if you think are any good?

They are very good books. I've read all of it takes two to talk and it does make it easy to put their advice into practice. I haven't tackled the other book yet as I've been concentrating on the other books suggestions, plus the homework activities the speech therapist sets each week.

Sounds good. Who is the author of it takes two? I will order it today. So why is it a paediatrician he needs to see and not a psychologist?

The author is weitzman it's easiest to order it through Winslow press as it's twice the price on amazon.

Regarding why not a psychiatrist well I'm guessing at t his early stage it is a development issue rather than a mental health issue.

Smallwhitecat can I assume if ds has been referred to the child development centre then it will be a developmental paediatrician that he sees?