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Original poster

Sister jealous of brother's birthday

13 replies

muttimalzwei · 01/04/2011 18:33

We haven't had this before as brother only 2 years in a week but sister is getting very upset and jealous. I am not sure how to handle this - so far have said well everyone has their special day etc. and trying to make light of it but now I'm hearing about siblings getting presents too. I don't agree with that...a birthday is a special day for a person and everyone gets their turn, that's life! she's six...Any advice?

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ajandjjmum · 01/04/2011 18:38

We always gave the non-birthday child a couple of small gifts to open - although I'm not sure that we weren't giving the wrong message!

They were quite happy when this stopped though - when they had matured and become less selfish.

Original poster

muttimalzwei · 01/04/2011 18:43

What age did you find this stopped? I really don't feel like indulging her

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Firawla · 01/04/2011 18:48

can you remind her of what she did on her own birthday? so she doesn't feel like her brother is getting everything and she got nothing?
not sure really, as my ds is quite excited about other people's birthdays mainly just for the reason that he gets to eat birthday cake, but he is quite a bit younger.
what are you doing on his bday? if you are having any party or day out or anything maybe you can try to make it sound good for her emphasising how she will get to join in the fun etc?

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CravingExcitement · 01/04/2011 18:51

Can you try to get her involved with choosing a nice present from her to her brother? I know I used to feel really excited about giving my brother/sister a present I thought they would like.

charmum3 · 01/04/2011 19:10

our boys buy their brothers a little gift on their birthday, also we get them to choose their own gifts help with the choice of cake, invitations etc, so the planning becomes part of the fun for the whole family, six is a bit youbg to adopt the deal with it attitude i feelxx

2rebecca · 01/04/2011 22:49

I have never done presents for the nonbirthday child. It isn't their birthday, they have to learn to enjoy seeing someone else having a special day. Choosing presnts/ card etc helping put up balloons helps. I'd have thought 6 was definitely old enough to realise it's not their day it's their sibs day.

2rebecca · 01/04/2011 22:52

Having said that if brother is only 2 I'm surprised he's making that much fuss about it and wonder if you and the adults in the family are maybe going on about it in front of her alot. I think going on about his birthday in her presence is a bit unfair so maybe tone it down a bit if it's a week away, different if he's 7 and very excited and discussing parties etc.

Jellycatshopkeeper · 01/04/2011 22:54

We gave small gifts to non-birthday child until they were about 7 or 8.

HuwEdwards · 01/04/2011 23:00

We STILL get this at age 10 and 8 - from the bleeding 10yo!! I'm with you in that no gifts for her - her birthday is only 2 weeks later.

DP's mum ALWAYS buys each of them something small - her perogative, but I refuse, it's life.

ConnorTraceptive · 01/04/2011 23:07

I object to birthday gifts for non birthday child although dh's family do it. Ds struggled with it last year when he was four but this year he was perfectly fine with it all. I did sit down with him the night before and chat about how he might feel a bit left out but he knew come his birthday he would get the same. I also explained that in our house we share our toys and that if he saw his brother get something exciting he should feel excited to because he would get a chance to play with it at some point too.

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 01/04/2011 23:14

Have never had presents for a non birthday child. but then I'm more of the tough love kind of parent, as in it's tough and no way and no amount of sulking or tantrums will change that!

We don't go on too much about birthdays but just reiterate that it will be their birthday another day and no one else will get presents then.

MCos · 02/04/2011 00:36

We do present for non-birthday child too. Just something small. But it comes after the birthday. After birthday, we go to the toy shop, birthday girls spends some of her birthday money, and non-birthday girl gets a small gift.

cory · 02/04/2011 09:00

Same as Doris: no compensation presents, not too much fuss.

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