your thoughts pls - childcare related

[nubbins]

My dh is having surgery in a few weeks and I really really really want to be able to visit as much as possible. I can't really take my 3 kids with me, but have my mum to come and stay at my house to watch them.

However, I am not happy with leaving my 10 month old baby for a week while I stay near to the hospital. I think it will totally mess with his head and he is likely to be very clingy and out of routine when I get back and have my dh to look after aswell.

so, I am considering seeing if I can get a childminder to take him for the afternoons. I have no experience of childminders, so have no idea if this is a good idea or not. There would be no settling in phase, I might not even be able to meet them beforehand as it's quite far away.

is this an idea worth persueing?

I think if its just another unfamiliar person he has to get to know in presumably quite brief time before the surgery and then not see again after then that will unsettle him and make him clingy anyway? Would it not be better to leave him with your mum for some shorter periods of time inbetween and then let her look after him while you are away? At least his siblings will be there too and they are familiar to him.

my mum isn't local so we wouldn't be able to build up to it.

I've left him in a creche a couple of times with complete strangers and he was fine.

I think it is worth pursuing tbh. You're stuck between a rock and a hard place but afternoons away from you in registered care is preferable to a week away.

What about a nanny rather than a childminder. They come to you rather than you taking DC to the childminder. They could come and stay with you where ever you are staying near the hospital. They could be around the whole time so they will be there when you are there and then when you go to the hospital it will be just like you are popping out.
There are lots of nannies advertising for short term jobs. try websites like nannyjobs or gumtree. Because a nanny won't have other kids to look after too they will be able to fit in with what ever routine you set up in the week you are there. They may also be able to come and do some intro sessions with your DC.

I would love the idea of a nanny, but I'm staying in someone elses house, so it's not really viable. Same with babysitters. nurseries seem very expensive.

Does the hospital have creche facilities?

TBH if you're so against leaving your son for a week I think you need to either

1. don't go for a week visiting your husband - go for a shorter period 2-3 days
2. don't visit your husband

no creche facilities at the hospital as far as know.

I have considered not visiting him, but, I have to to take him there and pick him up anyway, and if I don't visit him he won't have any visitors at all.

I still can't work out if I don't want to leave my ds for his benefit or my own!

I would then drive him down and stay for an overnight so you see him on the day he goes in and the next day, then go home and come back a day early visit him then and stay the night heading back with DH.

DS would be fine with Granny for 2 days. TBH I think he will be fine with Granny - nothing else is changing ie siblings/same home/routine whereas him coming with you is no siblings/different setting/slightly dif routine/change of caregiver (to someone he doesn't know)

As I said I think if you can't leave him then you need to just stay at home with the kids, and if you really must be away then you should leave DS in his familliar surroundings cared for by granny.