Sh*te mum!

[Madwoman]

Hi all

DD (2.5) will not sleep through the night at the mo. She goes to bed at 8pm, wakes up at 12.30am. I start off with soothing words, which two hours later turns into manic shouting. Still no sleep.

Then once I have stormed downstairs, I begin to have doubts about coping with a toddler, work, NO me-time, etc.

Broke down in tears at work on Friday and I feel guilty about this as was always told it was bad form to cry in front of the boss! So, not looking forward to going in on Monday, although she was very receptive and understanding.

What is going on with me? Is this the begginings of PND (had a mild form of it when DD was born and thought I had dealt with it without intervention) or is this the curse of the modern mum?

HELP!

Do you think tackling the sleeping will make everything better?

If you're not getting enough sleep everything is worse & that + being a parent is enough to make anyone emotional/irrational etc. Feel like my sanity left a coincidental 3.5 years ago, but without sleep I fall apart.
So, sympathy...

For some reason I always feel compelled to impart my wisdom on sleep problems! . In every way I always feel like I have been there and done that, but of course they will always come up with a new test for you! (I am currently experiencing a bit of a lull but I'm sure the storm will pick up again soon!)

In my opinion this doesn't have to be the start of PND, sleep deprivation will always lower your immunity to every day situations, and if you are coping with work as well...

Actually 2.5 was a real biggy for me, dd just enough language to make demands, absolutely determined not to go back to sleep. Firstly, what is it you want in the short term? To sort her out or to get some sleep? If you could get a few nights sleep would you cope better? Is she in a cot or bed? Why don't you put a mattress on the floor in her room and sleep on it for a few nights? My evil torturer would always sleep if I was in the room in a chair or something but wake up if I dared to creep out. Or - could she sleep with dh for a few nights while you regroup?

As I say 2.5 was a big problem for me and although I tried reasonableness, singing, stroking, controlled crying etc nothing worked. Ultimately it is a matter of control. If she is not in a cot then I'd put a stair gate on the door. When you feel up to tackling it, put her to bed as normal, when she wakes up go in to her and deal with whatever it is at that moment, then say good night again and leave her to it. Yes she will go ballistic, and perhaps for hours, perhaps she will be sick, but you should only go back if totally necessary (if she is sick, put a towel over it and don't put the light on, don't talk to her etc). The more attention you give her the longer she will go on for. If you can't stand it why don't you go and watch a video or something (perhaps fall asleep on the couch). I promise that night 2 wont be as bad and night 3 will be a breeze.

I really would sort out dd before you start worrying about PND, a few good night sleep will turn things around. I hope this helps

Well, I typed a long message for you but by the time I'd stopped to sort out my DD(8) who had a bloody nose because of in-house fighting, tucked up my 4 year old and his three potatoes(yes, I know) they're his new best friends,sorted out the 10 year old who was having a strop about going to bed and answered the door to my ex-dh, who was with my DS1(his son) and wanted to borrow a guitar amp for their gig, well!!! My computer turned off and by the time my DH and his friend, who'd come round to play and drink beer had fixed it, here I am!Sympathies,about the sleeping situation. Does your DD have sleep time in the day still? Maybe she wakes up for attention/drink but play it cool. Controlled crying is maybe too late for her but if at the end of the day you can't cope-is it so bad to yank her into bed with you?(All the strict mums will yell at me now, but my view is this-if your child is n't sleeping and you're not too bothered about having them in with you and dp/dh whatever, let them. Personally, I hate my kids sleeping with me, they're hot. sweaty and snuffly but at least they'll sleep and I just give up sometimes and let them sleep (and dh who snores like a train) and stumble downstairs to the settee!Good luck and LOL!

MW - take a couple of days off work. Not on Monday, because they'll realise why, but later in the week. Hell, throw a sickie. You are under intolerable pressure. You're entitled to it. Then sleep, or do something like like in bed reading thrillers and eating chocolate biscuits, and THEN maybe you'll be back at a point where (a) you can tackle the sleeplessness (b) you can get a handle on what's going on.

Here in the Inferiority Complex the three-month-old doesn't really do sleeping and the 2.8 year old has taken to waking up, shouting I DON'T LIKE SLEEPING I WANT TO WAKE UP I WANT A DUMMY I WANT MY PIGLET. And I'm still on maternity leave so can, occasionally, get a break. I really feel for you.

I cried in front of my boss once, with much less reason than you. A decent boss will understand. And certainly ANYONE with a small child will.

Thanks for the replies.

Last night was bad, but not as bad as last night. This time I went into her room at 12am, quietly told her it was time to go back to sleep, tucked her back in and went downstairs.

She still yelled for an hour('done a poo, want to get up', etc), but at least it wasn't the usual 2-3 hours!

Glad to be reassured that my 'madness' is due to fatigue and life pressures rather than PND and that this is a VERY common thing.

I feel better already having had 'more' sleep last night.

Thankyou again.

I meant to say 'the night BEFORE last'.