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Parenting

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Original poster

How to encourage a reluctant non-swimmer (aged 7)

16 replies

Prunnhilda · 30/03/2011 10:18

I took ds to the pool from about 9m to 2.6 and at that age, while he didn't love it, he was able to float unaided and waggle about a bit.

We moved to a place with no facilities, and so MIL used to take him to her private health club. He wore armbands and had lessons, but nothing doing, really.

He's had lessons in a small group and it was quite hard to watch, as he just won't straighten his body out at all. He has no physical problems otherwise.

Now I take him to the pool to mess about in the water and I've got him sticking his head underwater, playing holding-your-breath games and that sort of thing, but he will not try anything related to actually moving in the water, unless you count bobbing up and down aimlessly.

He refuses to do lessons. He refuses to try even pushing off from the edge to get some momentum in the water. Won't straighten out, won't kick etc. I am not the person to teach him, as it tries my patience totally though I try very hard not to show that to him.

If he were messing about playing games that involved moving through the water, I wouldn't mind, but he is essentially static and clings to me whenever possible. It's not fear per se (I don't think, since he gets in happily and isn't afraid of the water).

I have no idea how to get him to even entertain the idea of trying to straighten out and kick his legs - if he won't go to lessons. He is a very stubborn child.

Has anyone got any nifty tricks?

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MillsAndDoom · 30/03/2011 10:20

Lurking as I too have a 7yo non swimmer

Original poster

Prunnhilda · 30/03/2011 10:24

Does it frustrate you as much as it does me?
Reading back my post, it obviously pushes a button I didn't know I had

OP posts:

painfullyhonest · 30/03/2011 10:27

I am getting one of these and they seem to get a lot of good feedback. Might help him relax? Holidays coming up so am ordering mine today to try and get her swimming over the next few weeks.

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Original poster

Prunnhilda · 30/03/2011 10:32

That looks GREAT! He would love it.
That and a pair of leg splints might do the trick. (JOKE)

OP posts:

Francagoestohollywood · 30/03/2011 10:36

Are you sure you can't convince him to join a swimming class, maybe with a friend of his?
I think that swimming classes are the best option, provided they are taught by a good teacher.

Original poster

Prunnhilda · 30/03/2011 11:24

I have tried. I guess this is like everything else, it's worth trying again. Will see if any of his friends' parents want to do that. Most of them seem already sorted!

OP posts:

Underachieving · 30/03/2011 12:03

Get someone else to take him to a fun pool with a friend (that friends parent maybe)? Pick someone who does not actually care or even appears to notice if he swims or bobs. I think he knows he's annoying you and that you're right, he's resisting because he can. When that's hampering no one but himself and it's not getting him any attention I would bet he swims.

Underachieving · 30/03/2011 12:04

appear not appears.

I mean someone who doesn't appear to notice should take him to a fun pool, not the opposite.

castlesintheair · 30/03/2011 12:10

Can you get him to do 1:1 (or max 4 in class) at a small quite and preferably not very deep deep-end pool? Also one where the teacher gets in the water with them. The best floats are those long cylinder ones that they tuck under their arms. Also, consider noise - some pools are very loud and echoey and can upset sensitive souls. Don't I know it

castlesintheair · 30/03/2011 12:10

"quite small"!!!

MCos · 30/03/2011 17:50

I second Underachieving's idea. Have him go with a buddy, or maybe a cousin he looks up to, who can swim. Supervised by another adult if possible. Emphasis should be on having fun. But there is nothing like some peer pressure to help change minds.
We will be doing this shortly with a friend of my DD1 who is nervous of the water and not swimming yet either.

AlmightyCitrus · 30/03/2011 18:22

Take along another child who can swim.

My DD2 was at the baths last year and ran into a friend and her father. He was trying to teach his DD the basics of swimming and she was having none of it. DD2 started showing off a bit, diving in, swimming under water etc.
Friend was desperate to join in and couldn't so started making a bit more of an effort. Apparently she's loads better now, and the dad sometimes takes my DD for a swim too.

Original poster

Prunnhilda · 30/03/2011 18:27

I am SUCH a dolt, the peer pressure thing never occurred to me.

OP posts:

dixiechick1975 · 30/03/2011 20:07

The private pool my DD has swimming lessons at does 1 on 1 lessons 'crash courses' every school holiday. Worth a try?

ceebie · 31/03/2011 13:31

Do make sure that you never say 'he can't swim / he's not good in water' in front of him as he will believe it to be true and give up trying altogether / totally loose confidence in himself.

My sister's DS refused class lessons but she got 1 on 1 lessons until he was confident enough to join a class.

Lots of great advice above too, I think!

CharlieBoo · 31/03/2011 14:27

I would back off with the lessons....you really need to make this fun and go at his pace. The more you push him the more he will back off...

Go 'fun' swimming as I call it. Find a pool where they have a childrens pool or a good childrens section where he can stand up in. Take some inflatables, balls, floats etc. If he doesn't want to move, just work in the space that he's in. Boucing, walking about, racing you to the other end. Get a big long float, put it between his legs and do a horsey race to the other end. Get him to blow a ball in front of him...lots of encouragement.

IMO until he has more confidence in the water and moving around in it (not swimming) swimming lessons will be a waste of time. Go often with him, every week, and you will soon notice an improvement. good luck.

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