11 months still not sleeping through. any tips?

[rainbowrain]

My DS is 11 months now and still not sleeping through. he goes to bed around 9pm now, used to be 7/8pm, but cannot get him to sleep at that time anymore as he is wide awake. (he does normally have 2 naps during the day...) He then wakes around 11pm, 3am, 5am and is completely awake by 8am. I admit i breastfeed every time he wakes as it puts him back to sleep very quickly. Every time he wakes he climbs up and stands holding the cot rail so i'm not sure about the 'controlled crying' technique as he would just stand up and cry...

Any help?

We've done shush/pat with DD to great effect. After 12mo, I stopped BFing feeding her in the night (and only offered a small amount of water in the bottom of a bottle). I don't think DD was hungry or thirsty, but wanted the comfort to get back to sleep, hence the dribble of water.

Then she'd go straight back in the cot. I'd then shush and pat/rub her back until she settled. I could then often sit on the chair and just pop my hand into the cot (she likes to hold my hand). If she screamed lots, then I'd pick her up, comfort and pop her back. It was hard work in the start, though and took ages.

Gradually, it got quicker and she's been completely sleeping through 7pm - 6am (from 18mo). She basically stuggled to self-settle, hence the regular waking during the night. She now settles herself with a tiny grizzle.

I also have a relaxing music CD to play in her room. Sometimes this just helps break the mood and it's a bit of a signal to her that it's bedtime. Turning off the nightlight helped too; she'd wake up and be able to look around, now it's completely dark it's easier for her to go straight back to sleep.

Good luck.

Cut out one of the daytime naps if you can.

And don't listen to friends who boast about their DC being soooo good, sleeping though the night already, and only at 3 hours old.

Sorry, that was massive

At 11mo, DD was in a similar pattern to yours and was waking twice a night from about 14mo. Going to one nap might have helped us too.

thank you guys, i like the idea of putting relaxing music on :) and i think i'll have to try the shush/pat again, we used to do that when he was younger only now when you pat him he gets up and crawls and tries to climb. But guess will have to try doing it over and over again!

i'll definitely try cutting out a nap, i managed to put him to bed around 7 last night only he woke up at 8 and stayed awake til midnight.

Thanks, hopefully will help settle him soon! :)

Cut out the first nap and make the second really early. DS went from napping for 30 mins at 9.30 and 2 hours at 1.30 to one 2 - 2.5 hour nap at 11.00. You'll need to make bedtime a lot earlier if you cut out a nap. When DS was on 2 naps, he wouldn't go to sleep till 8.30-9.30. When I cut it down to one nap, he needed to go to bed at 6.30.

It sounds like yesterday he thought that bedtime was another nap.

The No-Cry Sleep Solution has some good ideas too.

I think Purple's suggestion is absolutely excellent, follow her advice I say!

How do you settle him to sleep in the first place, or does he settle himself? If he's not good at settling himself to sleep he won't know how to do it when he wakes in the night.

ok thanks :) am trying with one nap, he woke up quite late today (after 8) so only went down after lunchtime. so will definitely keep him awake til bedtime.

I've never heard of the no-cry sleep solution, will take a look into that.

He's BF to sleep, sometimes he'll wake slightly and go back down when i put him into his cot.

I know you'll hate this idea... but I really think you should stop BFing him to sleep, as he needs to learn how to settle to sleep on his own. I KNOW you won't want to stop doing something that works, but honestly I think it will work out so much better for you both in the long run.

Get him ready for bed, BF him but don't let him fall asleep (or if he does, wake him!), brush his teeth if he has any, and read him a story (it's never too early). If he cries, follow Purple's advice with the shush/pat. I'm sure it won't be easy at first but I do think it's worth persevering (sp?). He will be tired and will have a belly full of milk so HOPEFULLY he will manage to settle himself.

If he is BF to sleep, then no wonder when he wakes up in the night he doesn't know how to get back to sleep other than to be BF again!

Good luck and hope all goes well. Let us know what you decide to do and how you get on. X

we are very slowly but surely sorting my 10 month ds out by using a bed-time toy and bed time music and head stroking. It works so long as he isnt teething or snotty.

TBH stopping breastfeeding at night worked wonders for us, my dh did night wakings for a week and ds went from waking every hour or 2 to waking once or twice a night. we just need to get over the final hurdle now!

Two more small points to consider about changing your settling to bed routine. If you BF then put him down in his cot awake, he will become more familiar with his cot and happier / more comfortable to be in it. It won't feel so strange to him to wake up in it in the night; he will begin to associate it with a place to relax and sleep. Secondly, it should make things much easier when the time comes when you decide to stop BFing, as the change will only relate to feeds and not both feeds and settling to sleep.

Last night was interesting! he only had one nap during the day, went to sleep at 7:45 but woke up at 11 and even in a dark room didn't sleep til 1. he didn't want BF and kept laughing everytime did the shush thing. Eventually he did settle down but in our bed. Will try again tonight!

Hi rainbowrain, love that he laughed at the shush thing! At least he was happy!!! What happened if you left the room, did he cry then? Also did he sleep the rest of the night throught from 1am? How did you get on over the weekend, any more progress? xxx

Agree that ncss has gentle ways of stoping feeding to sleep, if that is what you want to do. The patting, etc work really well for some kids as Purple has explained. WOrth trying a few things to see what works for you all.

It is pretty normal for a kid that age to wake a few times in the night tbh. It will end, I promise!

Just thinking of your comment "kept laughing everytime did the shush thing". You only need to do the shush thing if he is crying, right? If he's not upset you can leave the room! Your job isn't to make him go asleep, just to make sure he's happy in his cot and not distressed. My DD (18mo) often has little chats and occasionally even stands up rattling the cot sides happily by herself before settling down to sleep! (She is delighted if I go in and tries to inveigle me into playing games with her...)

ah ok! most times he cries when i leave the room, its been on/off this weekend. on saturday night he went to sleep around 9pm, woke around 11:30 went back down and slept for the first time til just after 6am! but last night was up a few times again.

he's quite difficult to settle, but i think you're right, if he's happy playing i should try leaving him to it more often!

hoping for another repeat of saturday night!