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Parenting

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Original poster

Pram envy...symptomatic of other issues/tranference of financial fustration

36 replies

Andie20521 · 29/03/2011 12:14

I know this is daft, I have a perfectly good pram, an old Brittax Travel System which was a bargain second hand. My DD is just 4mo.

It is slightly scruffed, and very heavy, but solid and practical with every possible accessory. However I am looking at all the other Mums with the trendy prams and feel jealous. I always swore that for the short time they use a pram for I wouldn't spend a fortune, I have never been one for keeping up with the Jones, but now with my pfb dd I want her to have the best.

It co-incided with money becoming tight so possibly a case of I want what I can't have (Say "cant" but Nana and Grandad would love to fork out if I said LO needed it but I couldn't bring myself to do that)

I need to be practical, money was always going to be tight on mat leave, but the realisation has finally sank in that its going to be like this for some time with child care costs when I return to work. (Yes I knew, but but for some reason it didn't register what the reality would be)

I just needed to vent, feeling like a scruffy second class citizen at the moment, and can't see it ending for years!

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jellybelly25 · 29/03/2011 12:59

Awwww I understand the frustration over money.... really I do... but you know what, those stupid posh prams are an absolute PITA when the child is over about 1yo. You'll get a sixty quid stroller that folds up under your arm when you need to and you'll wonder why anyone ever spent £500 on an effing armchair on wheels.

Limy · 29/03/2011 13:27

I agree with Jellybelly25 we have already purchased a pushchair for our DD, 3 months old, because the pram that we got (purchased very nicely by her grandparents) is too big to use around town. Feel a little guilty about it but in hindsight we would not have got the pram we did and would have got something alot more simpler and cheaper!

We are in a similar situation - money is going to be tight for us for a good few years but I always think about my childhood and that stops me worrying, my parents never have had and never will have a lot of money. As children my sisters and I understood that we would not always get what we wanted but we had a great childhood, we went for picnics in the local park, holidays on the east coast (never abroad) and we always had a great time. It was cheap and chearful. As a result I appreciate what I have now got and I count myself lucky to have the life that I have.

So please do not feel scruffy or like a second class citizen what matters is the love and attention you give to your child not the amount of money in your bank account.

nickschick · 29/03/2011 13:56

My gorgeous PFB had the doctors old mclaren pram it was given to me with the bestest intentions and as money was tight I was glad of it,I loved to push him around in his spotlessly clean secondhand pram although I promised myself that any other child would have a new pram and ds2 definitely did -it was hideous cost more than the car and was entirely impractical......ds3 had a vintage silver cross big wheel little wheel pram and I adored it -inevitably they all ended up in a £20 stroller from argos as they began to toddle.

Dont sweat the small stuff enjoy your baby enjoy these days cos those teenage days come far to soon.

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jellybelly25 · 29/03/2011 13:57

I absolutely echo that - my family was the same and my kids are the same and my dds are absolutely excellent at making the best of what they have, which is a lot more than I had but hardly what I would call top of the range everything.

partyhats · 29/03/2011 14:19

Agree with Jellybelly, you really don't need one of those expensive pushchairs I just think what mugs the people must be when I see them! I mean all you need them to do is be comfy for the baby and have wheels! I am glad I have not spent loads on pushchairs for my 3dcs.
Your baby won't know any different, your love is the most important thing to them.

Original poster

Andie20521 · 29/03/2011 14:52

Thanks! I know that I am so lucky to have my DD (6 years trying, Fertility treatments & IVF a couple of times etc)

I am feeling more positive, and will try to count my blessings.

Babies need love and attension, feeding and a warm home, not all the latest fashion in prams.

I am being frugal in other areas too, but don't seem to mind so much. I cook mostly from scratch, batch bake, and generally make do and mend. I look on that as a challenge, which for the short term is actually fun! However the idea that this is life for the next X years is a little bit daunting, especially when I return to work.

Chin up! Onwards and upwards!

OP posts:

Tootingbec · 29/03/2011 15:25

Yay! That is the spirit! Honestly, you have done the right thing in having a second hand pram (wish I had first time round - we only used ours for 6 months before buying a lovely light McClaren buggy). So much of the gubbins you are told you need for a baby is JUST NOT NEEDED!! I see people walking round John Lewis with a big list and I want to go up to them and say "stop! You really don't need all of that!"

We don't have the space to store lots of toys for our two either, so we have saved loads of money on not buying things like mini kitchens etc. They get to play on big stuff at toddler group/nursery if they want to, as at home, my eldest is never happier than playing at the sink with empty yoghurt cartons. It is a cliche but true - they really are more interested in the packaging than the toy half the time....

The best advice I heard was to save your money on buying "stuff" and instead put it towards buying time e.g. a cleaner, or some occassional childcare or anything that helps keep you sane!

If it helps, we bought the ugliest, cheapest double buggy going when our second child turned up and I have never regretted it - seriously it was £700 cheaper than a fancy Phil and Teds and does exactly the same job!

quickchat · 29/03/2011 19:24

when I say this. Money isn't/wasn't an issue.

I got what I suppose is a trendy pram. Load of bollocks. I push DD around in a nice light £60 Mclaren and I look like i've been dragged through a hedge backwards most days.
Im super scruffy because with a 3 yr old and 1 yr old in tow I don't have time to shop/look in the mirror/give a toss.

I think it's just a case of 'the grass is always greener'.
Nobody cares what you are pushing your baby in. Most of the people you will meet from now on will be too red eyed and harrassed to notice!

Underachieving · 29/03/2011 21:31

I think the title is revealing. I think you already suspect yourself of having an ulterior motive. I think if you talked about it long enough then you would work out the answer too.

muslimah28 · 30/03/2011 22:38

jellybelly is spot on. Our lovelly mamas and papas pram was great for 9 months then we converted it from the travel system/carrycot and its the size of a tank, so has been ditched for a stroller

my mum says we're so lucky nowadays we have so many gadgets to make our lives easier but she also thinks theyre v unecessary they coped just fine without all the paraphernalia we have

anyway after 2 attempts to ebay my pram and no sale we're giving it to a charity shop in the hope it might help someone. If yr in east london pm me and ill tell you which one as they wont sell it for much and the prams as good as new!!

(hope thats helpful btw, i know u didnt want tips on how to get the pram of yr dreams u wanted support on y it doesnt matter...it was just a thought that occured to me...)

mamatomany · 30/03/2011 22:45

Enter loads of competitions, www.pushchairtrader.com/co.uk seem to be giving away a fair few prams lately, you never know your luck !

Antidote · 30/03/2011 22:48

Why not treat yourself to a nice sling? Much cheaper, lots of cuddles and easier to get on the bus!

CharlieBoo · 31/03/2011 12:29

You don't need one honestly....My parents bought us the latest and greatest pram (arm and a leg job) and honestly once the baby was past 10 months it was no good. He was too big and the seat positions were rubbish! It goes so quick save your money, and yes yes to the nice sling.

Allegrogirl · 31/03/2011 12:45

Andie I feel the same way as you about our pram and like you I know deep down it is a symptom of wider 'financial frustration'. I got over it once I went back to work with DD1 and will get over it again in a few weeks when I return with DD2. I just won't have the time to worry about it anymore!

Our pram is perfect for our needs and DH loves it (sturdy 3 wheel tank). But I envy these sexy, sleek designer jobs even though I would trash a pretty pushchair in no time.

I am beginning to accept that we will be scruffy at least until DD2 starts school and DH's new career takes off a bit (hopefully).

muslimah28 · 31/03/2011 15:36

also try yr nct nearly new sale you can pick up lovely stuff dirt cheap

strandedpolarbear · 31/03/2011 19:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Zipitydoda · 31/03/2011 20:33

If you live in London can I recommend buggypitstop.co.uk. They pickup buggies from a number of sites in London and service them. I have just had my 6 year old (admittedly a bugaboo) serviced and it looks new! It has had 6 years of thorough use/abuse by my 2 boys and has been chucked around a fair bit. It really does look great again. I washed the covers myself and just sent the chassis in (£35) makes a big difference.

TheSecondComing · 31/03/2011 20:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Morph2 · 01/04/2011 21:13

The second coming> you buy cheap, you buy twice. Who cares if it stills works out cheaper!! My first buy was a 2nd hand mothercare urban detour system that cost me £30. It was quite bulky as most of the new born pushchairs seem to be unless you buy a quinny buzz for stupid money so i always had plans to buy a stroller when he was old enough. I've splashed out on quite on expensive new stroller at £130 but at least i'll be using that for more than7 months.

Bet your pushchair cost alot more than £160

mamatomany · 01/04/2011 21:41

hmmm well like anything you buy what you like, you get what you apy for and we all have different priorities I guess. With the first three baby's I was a pushchair bore, loved all the features and matching bits and pieces, this time I could happily put DS in a wheelbarrow

TheSecondComing · 01/04/2011 21:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

muslimah28 · 02/04/2011 10:54

second coming you are totally missing the point. Some ppl only have the option of buying twice they dont have 700quid lying around

muslimah28 · 02/04/2011 10:55

sorry i meant to only have the option of buying cheap

Francagoestohollywood · 02/04/2011 11:13

I think pram envy is a stage many new mothers have to go through, don't beat yourself up too much!

In my case, I thought that all the other parents had chosen more practical prams than the one we had.

Now, I can honestly say that a second hand, scruffy pram is much better than any fashionable ones!

Okonomiyaki · 02/04/2011 11:18

Hello, we have a ridiculously overpriced armchair on wheels.

Will my ds go in the bloody thing? Will he heck. Most of the time I end up wheeling it round one handed holding him in the other arm looking like an utter fool. Massive waste of money and I've had much more use out of the second hand sling I got for a tenner on eBay.

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