Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

Original poster

Anyone still sitting till DC go to sleep?

17 replies

dontdillydally · 27/03/2011 22:26

I do, my DS is 6. He doesnt like being upstairs on his own even for the toilet have to go, have now started to stand at bottom of stairs.

Our house is very small so not as if its huge we can hear everything. But he has to have story then me lie with him till he goes to sleep

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Original poster

dontdillydally · 28/03/2011 10:53

no one, just me?

OP posts:

Jajas · 28/03/2011 10:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 28/03/2011 10:59

Well, we do this with our 3yo but I can see us still doing it when she's 6, she's just that kind of child. I don't see anything wrong in it, they will eventually learn to sleep on their own. Doubt there are many teenagers sleeping next to their mothers! If you are all happy with it then I'd go with the flow.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

Theonlyexception · 28/03/2011 11:00

This might sound silly but if your ds is scared to be alone have you thought about bringing in a new soft toy, or even small pet eg.hamster that can live in his room especially to 'look after' him at night? When I was little I used to get scared at bedtime, and my parents bought me hamster which lived in a cage in my room. For some reason it made me feel much safer!

Original poster

dontdillydally · 28/03/2011 11:31

He is not insecure or strange thank you but just feels scared at bedtime ive asked him and he says he doesnt like being upstairs on his own

OP posts:

Original poster

dontdillydally · 28/03/2011 11:32

the pet thing sounds great he will go upstairs if our cat is there however think our cat would "enjoy" a hamster!

OP posts:

ChrissyHynde · 28/03/2011 11:34

My friend has a 6 year old and she sits with him most nights until he falls asleep. Sometimes it can be an hour or so which is a long time!! You need to get to the bottom of the insecurities. Perhaps leave your DS alone saying you'll come back to see him in 5 mins and then keep stretching the time?

Original poster

dontdillydally · 28/03/2011 11:39

...he says at night he hears noises and shadows and it scares him. have tried night lights, leaving door open, dream catcher, throwing out the monsters etc...

Now he is at school does drop off roughly 20mins or so so not too bad and I must admit it gives me tiem to re-charge and chill abit.

But just a bit of a pain if I need a babysitter other than family who know his ways!

OP posts:

JoinTheDots · 28/03/2011 11:45

My friend does this with her son, he is 6. I can't see it's an issue if you don't mind doing it. I am sure he will grow out of it.

ponyprincess · 28/03/2011 15:24

My DD is 7 and she also comments about not wanting to be alone at bedtime (and she is just opposite us on same level!), being worried about getting scare dreams and so on. I don't stay with her, but what works when she is in this mood is just to promise to check in on her every five minutes till she is asleep, which I do, and which usually means going back in there once or twice tops till I find her asleep! It might be something to try if you need to make a change, but if you are both comfortable with how you do it I don't think it matters, at some point he will grow out of it.

BadPoet · 28/03/2011 15:32

Yes, I do, with my dd who is 7.

My dd has Aspergers and really CAN't switch off by herself. We've thought long and hard and decided we will ride it out rather than medicate. We do leave her for a gap of time (and put away laundry etc) which is slowly increasing. I am just glad that apart from that she's a great sleeper, so many parents of ASD kids have all night problems to contend with.

Problem is my 4yo son doesn't see why he should fall asleep alone and he is perfectly capable of it! So we tend to sit with him too.

It's actually fine. I can sit with my laptop (dimmed screen) and read/work, or read my Kindle. It's quite a relaxed time usually.

Vicky08 · 28/03/2011 17:04

We do this with our 2.4 yr old DD and we love it! Some nights we even argue over who gets to put her to bed. We also have a 3 month DS who keeps us very busy so this is our special alone time with DD when we get to relax with her and give her lots of cuddles. She's a very secure little girl who's not afraid of the dark or being alone, she just also loves this moment that she gets to cuddle her mummy or daddy before going to sleep.

Al1son · 28/03/2011 18:24

My DD2 is 7 and is being assessed for ASD. She is just like BadPoets DD.

One strategy which sometimes work is giving her an ipod with audiobooks on to listen to. We take the headphones off once she's asleep.

Her psychologist has taught her to use deep breathing to calm herself too and practising this at bedtime can help her calm herself and settle.

TBH nights are pretty awful for us but I thought I'd share the strategies in case they help.

BlueberryPancake · 28/03/2011 18:58

We do this with our perfectly well adjusted and fine children (5 and 4). We read 2 books, and sing 3 songs. Then I just sit in a corner of the room and let them fall asleep. They feel better if one of us is there (they share a bedroom).

We don't find this a problem at all. If I have to go for some reason (putting something in the oven or whatever) I'll say 'I'll be back in five minutes' and kiss them and usually by the time I go back they are asleep.

Actually that might work for your DS. Just wait until he is a bit drowsy and settled and say something like 'I really have to go to the loo, I'll be back in 1 minute' and see how he does. Then, the next night, make it a bit longer.

MonkeyandParrot · 28/03/2011 19:40

I do this with my 2.5 year old but I use the time to get jobs done - she is quite happy to lie and go to sleep with women's hour playing softly while I either breastfeed the baby or potter around her room tidying up. I can see me doing this was quite a long time with both of them but I am quite happy as I am getting things done.

Original poster

dontdillydally · 28/03/2011 22:25

thanks for advice....IVe gone off the pet in the room idea having a cat may cause more stress!!!

I have approached the subject tonight and asked of ways in which he would feel ok about Mummy going back downstairs - he is a ver accute, switched on child who knew last night that the clocks had gone forward hence he could stay up an hour later as it "wasnt the rela time"!!!

OP posts:

Cat98 · 29/03/2011 13:08

Agree with discussing and gently encouraging him to fall asleep with you out the room, but I don't think there is anything wrong with it. Imo they will be more secure if they know you will be there when they need you. I couldn't disagree more with jajas tbh. We are 'still' sitting with our nearly 3 year old. They are not little for long. As someone else said, I can't imagine he will still want you there when he's eighteen!

Flip