Gunplay - do you let them get on with it?

[gabid]

DS (6) seems keen on guns and shooting at the moment, he wants me to buy him a toy gun, yesterday he searched YouTube for 'gun'!

There was an article in the Daily Mail in 2007 where the Education Minister urged parents and schools to encourage boys to play with guns as it is gives them an outlet for roleplay and raises achievement.

I am reluctant to buy him a gun, but let him play with friends who want to play the same game using sticks.

What are your views and how do you deal with the issure?

just let them get on with it!!

why just guns??

do you feel the same about swords,bow and arrows....other 'weapons'?

DS2 is obsessed with guns. He's got a couple of toy ones which I hummed and haa'ed about letting him have but TBH if we hadn't bought them he'd just have used a stick or made a gun out of Lego (he still does both of those things anyway).

From knowing friends' sons, I think a huge percentage of them go through this stage but often by the age of about 10 it's worn off.

I gave in when DS1 bit a rice cake into a gun shape and started shooting, and DS2 responded with Lego.

I would never get them a toy gun that looked remotely realistic though - think Milky Bar kid or Star Wars which is play/dress up like a pirate sword, not a step to COD.

My two DSs have had toy gun but, as meditrina, ones that could not be mistaken for real ones (coloured/space weapon...)

There has been a lot of research into this hence the govn recommendation in 'Confident, capable and creative: supporting boys' achievements' in 2007.
Personally, I don't have a problem with ds playing with guns. His dad made him a wooden gun which ds has attached binoculars to. In my experience boys will just make their own guns if none are available - I've seen toast, lego, dinosaurs, sticks, kitchen utensils etc all used covertly as a gun when adults have said 'no guns' .

water pistols......they will be everywhere soon

I didn't say 'no gunplay', I am fine with it as long as they use whatever they can find and agree the game. I don't want to play though and neither do I want him to 'shoot' at passers by on the street.

I am fine with water pistols and they love lightsavers (the StarWars things), but he saw a small metal gun at the toy shop that bangs and I said 'no'. Neither do I find it appropriate for a 6 year old to look for YouTube clips about guns, let alone 18 rated films/games. On the other hand I don't want him to obsess with it even more.

FranSanDisco - I would be interested in some of that research, is it on the Internet somewhere? I am doubtful about 'Confident, Capable and Creative ...', would be good for boys to have a range of interests to be confident and creative about!

I did the most interesting English cover lesson with a Y9 group (14 year olds). They had to write an essay: 'Thinking about Shakespeare, plan your ideal murder. Say why you want to murder that person and describe your feelings.'

They are not watching Starwars (they have seen bits of it) but it seems to be all the rage amongst 6 year olds at the moment, so some of them must be.

so your objection to the gun was because it was metal and went 'bang'??

and your year 9's all planned a murder with a gun? or not? or was it set in shakespearian times?

Neither do I find it appropriate for a 6 year old to look for YouTube clips about guns,

I did wonder when I read that bit??

My DS is also 6 and I havent given in to buying him a gun! That was because i thought it encouraged violant behaviour, on the other hand after reading this, I am now wondering, like meditrina said, I wont permit real looking guns! and certainly not acting out 18 rated films...I should hope my son will not and has not been subjected to those sorts of films but I cant speak for his father so I will only hope and throw in the odd comment every now and then about protecting his childhood.

Good luck

ILoveTiffany - yes, I do think gunplay can make violence and aggression apprear normal and an OK thing to do. And the Y9s didn't actually feel too comfortable with that task and many turned the whole thing into a funny tale.

But then I don't think its just doing a bit of role play and pretending to fight with light sabers. Mine (6 and 2) seem to understand it's a game and are careful not to hurt each other. However, there are 18 rated films and games 11 year olds seem to be able to access, violent behaviour and language being considered acceptable in some families, boys/men in particular not being able to control their temper... but that is just an assumption - I would like to look at some research on this.

At my son's infant school no fighting or gunplay is allowed as it usually gets out of hand before long - I can see their point. And how exactly gunplay should support boy's achievement I can't quite see either.

I'm another one who allows guns, as long as they don't look like the real thing. I still remember telling DS that no, he couldn't have an AK47.

I have two boys age 10 and 8 , I dont particulary like toy guns and always avoided buying them , however boys from an early age will 'gun play' even without toy guns - they will make them out of anything ,legio , sticks and their own hand.

My two did have toy guns given as presents (tin can alley package)- got al excited and after a couple of weeks they were forgotten about and tossed in bottom of toy box or under bed .

They always played with swords , light sabers etc and I never really had a problem with that . On reflection I dont think gun play was anything I should have been concerned about - what does concern me is the way replica/toy guns can look so real - aslong as the toy gun looks like a toy then I think OK.

I would be more concerned however if my DS was looking at Youtube for guns .

What's the age rating for star wars films?

I don't like replica gun toys. I know they are really no different to play dwords and cutlasses, but I just don't like them and I wouldn't let DD have one even if she did want one.

However 8y DD does have a plastic Nerf gun with foam darts. It;s new and I think it was Dh who really wanted it, lol But she is having fun with it and not using it to play at killing people or whatever. Mind you Dh thinks we need a second one so they can use them together

And she has water guns too, infact she has been eyeing up the bigger ones this year as the two boys she play withon our street had fab ones last yar and she ended up drenched only having a little chpea thing.

what is the worst thing that can happen if you let them play with guns? or even playfight?

Tiffany, depends on the film. One of them is a 15 I think. Anyway, there is one scene in particular which my dh has kept from our boys, although I think my 14 yo has now seen it.

Oh, maybe I am wrong. On Amazon, the oldest 3 films are rated U and the newer 3 films are rated 12.

Have Star Wars films here.
I - PG
II - PG
III - 12
IV - U
V - U
VI - U

I don't know which film that is, but mine (6) has seen bits with the sandpeople, he was facinated an wanted to rewatch it, but it did scare him too. Also, a bit where someone was frozen in a cupboard, that fascinated and scared him at the same time. I don't watch the films, he watched bits with DP - but in the end we stopped it because he started coming into our bed at night.