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Parenting

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Original poster

Leaving baby with granny

16 replies

ceebs05 · 26/03/2011 08:43

Hi,

My dd is 6 months old and i have never left her for any significant length of time. DH thinks it is about time I did so that we could have an evening out. I agree that this would be nice but feel quite worried about this as dd is unlikely to stay asleep while we are out, she usually wakes at least once between 6.45 and 10pm and settles quickly if i go in and with a bit of crying if dh does. I think it is possible that if granny comes over to look after her and she wakes, that she will scream until i get home.

I have to decide whether to go out for dinner tonight and am struggling - any advice greatly appreciated!

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Portofino · 26/03/2011 08:46

Presumably granny has had a baby, and will cope. Go and enjoy your dinner.

Original poster

ceebs05 · 26/03/2011 08:50

yes i know granny would cope but it's the thought of dd screaming inconsolably that upsets me and makes me not want to go.

OP posts:

ajandjjmum · 26/03/2011 08:52

IMHO you are doing your dd no favours by letting her become so dependent on you. Go somewhere locally for the first time, so that if she doesn't settle you know you'll be on hand.

When DS was 15 months old I had to go into hospital for 6 weeks - believe me, it was a good job he was used to being with other people, or we'd have been in even more of a mess.

You owe this to your DS and yourself.

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ajandjjmum · 26/03/2011 08:54

Sorry - not DS, DH. Also I should have said exclusively dependent on you - of course your DD wil be dependent on you!

JoinTheDots · 26/03/2011 10:36

I might disagree - if it is stressing you out, don't go. Will be pointless if all you can think about is if the LO is ok. Could you build up to it a little more by going out in the day and leave granny in charge for a few hours so you feel more confident, then when you know DD can and will be settled easily by granny you can have a stress free dinner out?

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 26/03/2011 10:42

you are not going to relax and enjoy yourself if you are worrying about the baby crying, she is only wee, she will grow more independent in her own time.

How about a posh meal at home instead?

Mellowfruitfulness · 26/03/2011 10:45

Agree with JoinThe Dots. I am a granny and I was very nervous the first time I looked after my first grand child. I think if you build up the contact bit by bit, first by the baby getting used to her granny while you're there too, then by you disappearing for half an hour or so at a time, it would be a lot better.

The thing is that it is better for everyone, obviously, if you can leave your baby eventually, but why do something that could make baby, mother and grandma all suffer - even if only for a short time - when it could be avoided?

On the other hand, if you did go out and baby and granny had a horrible time together, it would not damage anyone permanently, and you'll all be laughing about it in 20 years' time! (Go somewhere nearby and take your mobile.) Good luck!

How does your husband feel?

Original poster

ceebs05 · 26/03/2011 11:03

Thanks for the responses - they basically reflect the argument i have been having to myself.

DH thinks we just need to bite the bullet and go for it. I'm starting to think we should just go to the pub round the corner - that way if it all goes badly wrong I can be home in 2 minutes.

OP posts:

Mellowfruitfulness · 26/03/2011 15:18

Yes, pub round the corner sounds like the perfect compromise. Have fun.

thinkingkindly · 26/03/2011 18:06

Ceebs, do exactly what you want to do - pub round the corner sounds like a lovely plan. There's no way I would have left DD when she was 6 months because she was still bf to sleep. That didn't make me want to tell anyone else off for doing the same - as a parent you have to find your own way.

monkoray · 26/03/2011 18:33

My mother in law kept asking to take my DS overnight and i kept refusing until he was sleeping through the night (around 7 months). I completely sympathise. You won't enjoy yourself if you are worrying, but pub round the corner sounds like a great idea. Why don't you have granny to stay the night and if your DC does wake get granny to go in and try and settle her, if she doesn't settle after 15 mins or so then you can take over. You might be pleasantly surprised.

Original poster

ceebs05 · 27/03/2011 09:40

Thanks for all the replies - we went to the pub round the corner and had a lovely meal - on the agreement that if dd woke and would not settle back down that mum would call me to come back. She did wake but allowed her granny to settle her back to sleep with only a bit of crying. I am very surprised but pleasantly so, and glad I did it.

Thanks all!

OP posts:

angel1976 · 27/03/2011 13:26

Good to hear it went well. :) You will learn very quickly that they always behave for other people...

matana · 27/03/2011 13:47

Babies are more resilient than people think. My DS is always excellently well behaved for his aunties and grandparents and makes me out to be a complete liar when i say things like "Oh, he might wake up, he's going through an unsettled patch, he's a bit grouchy" etc etc.

Portofino · 27/03/2011 20:50

Oh that's lovely to hear! I hope you will be repeating the experiment on a regular basis! . It is important to make time for your dh too, you know.

quickchat · 29/03/2011 20:02

It depends on the granny!

If my mum (grandma) watches DD, she leaves it a bit if she sounds unsettled, then if she cries she goes in a pats her gently until she sleeps.

If DH's mum (granny) watches DD, DD who is now 15 months and never makes a peep now, she lifts her out the cot and takes her into the livingroom .

3 times we have came home to a hysterical, knackered DD.

I know she does it to get some cuddles in, selfish moo.

Your mum sounds perfectly capable so enjoy some nights out now! (im sticking with Grandma)!

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