So anxious for DS

[neepsntatties]

He's three and just started playgroup. He only does three sessions a week. He doesn't really like it, he cries and says it is too noisey. When I pick him up he is always playing alone while the other children are doing some kind of whole class activity.

I didn't get on that well at school. Was bullied and am shy. I find it hard to make friends. I am so worried about Ds being bullied, being lonley and generally being miserable. I am trying to make changes myself, I make myself invite people over even though I find this hard (we never had any guests when I was growing up and it makes me very anxious).

I want to protect him but feel I can't.

The thing is, worrying about things that might happen will not actually protect your DS, it is just causing you more anxiety which your DS will pick up on.

There is no reason why he will be bullied, lonely or miserable, at nursery or at school.

Lots of three year olds prefer to play alone rather than with whole class at nursery, it doesn't matter.

Having said that, if he creis, does he have to go to nursery? Is it because you work? If not, you don't have to send him yet, he might just not be ready.

No I am on maternity. He does three sessions of just over two hours. He's only been going for a few weeks. I wanted him to have the chance to play with other children and from a selfish point of view I just need a break as dd is only eight weeks and I am not getting much sleep. Dh is away all day and doesn't get back until 11 at night so the days are long. I was thinking of giving it a few more weeks to see if he settles into it and if he still hates it I can take him out.

I do need to deal with my fears. He's just innocent right now, at some point he is going to realise that people can be horrible and he will be hurt. I realise it is totally unrealistic to want to stop this from happening but the thought of it still makes me feel ill. I have some horrible memories from my early days at school, I want him to be confident and happy.

What strikes me about this post is the noise sensitivity my DS has this and it is an explanation for some of his behaviour.

I was also bullied and am shy and feel really conscious of DS 'fitting in' because if it. I don't want him to hate school like I did. I completely empathise on that score.

Does he have a keyworker? Have they or any other staff commented on his behaviour?

He may not be ready for playgroup yet, my DS wasn't really ready at all.

I've asked if he's getting on alright and they always say yes. He doesn't have a key worker, maybe because it's a playgroup instead of a nursery. I wondered if the arrival of dd has made him more unsettled.

I am not sure how much of a chance to give it.