How has being a parent made you a better person?

[Sparklyboots]

I'm going to come right out and admit that I wasn't always so thorough or conscientious about washing my hands when I'd been to the loo before the arrival of my DC (12 weeks ago). I know, I did have a kind of shame about it (but only enough to make me wash my hands when other people were there. Honestly, I'm a slut). Anyway, happily, I have washed my hands every time without fail since Christmas day - that's when he came - and it got me to thinking about the ways that having a child changes you as a person. Obviously, there's some not so pleasant changes (sitting around in a tracksuit as I type), but since I'm still relatively new, I'm wondering what I've got to look forward to? How have your DCs made you get your shit together?

I've became alot less self conscious or even vein.

Ok, here comes my confession.

Before DC's I used to bleech my teeth, go to the gym regularly, get a spray tan fortnightly, wax, get highlights and generally worry about my looks way too much.

Im now a good half stone heavier and veeery out of shape, have human coloured teeth, can be recognised as white scottish instead of asian with blue eyes, bikkini line is wandering, and I generally get my hair done every 6 months, if I rememeber!

Im much more interested in my DC's than myself and I like who I am more. Strangly im much more confident too as im not as preoccupied with what people think of me, I barley have time to think about me, lol!

I think having children (ducks to avoid backlash) makes you automatically less selfish.

I smile more. Lots more!

I agree with you Quickchat about automatically less selfish, but I am not confident at all, I wasnt too bad after ds was born but since dd arrived I have no confidence whatsoever.

Some ways I can be better, but at the same time tiredness makes me grumpy and short-tempered so its made me different rather than a better person.

I'm nicer to other people. Less opinionated. And more tolerant I think. I think having dd1 made me immensely tough and independent (was on my own and very young) and having dd2 made me softer, and in turn a better parent to dd1 as it wasn't a constant survival battle thing anymore. That's also to do with dh though...

Before dd1 I did not ever ever clean or tidy. I was a slob. I now keep house to a vaguely acceptable standard

Cleaning standards have definitely gone down with two for me, just trying to find the time and energy. I what I can though. Im definitely more tolerant of other people's children now.

I'm nicer too, and more patient, more tolerant, more willing to analyse my behaviour and change it if it doesn't come up to scratch.

I'm also fiercer (in protecting my kids, wrote a fairly shirty but polite email to DD1's school when they claimed her dinner money hadn't been paid when it had, and I could prove it - they sorted it in hours, I'd never have dealt with officialdom that assertively before!) and more open to new ideas. (I'm very jealous of the way my kids are being taught maths - if I'd had teaching like that, maybe I'd have been good at it from the off instead of having had to work at it as an adult!)

If a toddler crawls under my table in a cafe, I now happily say hello and thank it gracefully for the gift of a piece of grit, rather than muttering "Piss off!" like I would have done at 19.

My house used to be a pit whereas I do make the effort now.
I'm cleaner, less judgemental and more tolerant.

I don't think I'm a better person now than I was before I had DC. Hope that doesnt mean I'm just a rubbish mum...

Colditz,

LOL, me too!

More patient ( although I think I was the worlds most impatient person before the dd's ) & much less selfish. More tolerant of other people in general.

I'm not sure I am .

I do hand wash a lot more.

Yes. I am happier, for a start, and I think that rubs off on everybody you come in contact with.

I am also more tolerant, patient, generous with my time and a whole lot less judgemental.

Juicylips, to contradict myself, yes I know I am less confident in some areas. I feel like I have nothing to talk about sometimes, especially with people from my non children/working days.

If I bump into someone I haven't seen in years I imagine they are thinking, wow, what a fat frump she's turned into - and boring !

Just in other ways im more confident just because I spend next to no time worrying about my looks or myself IYSWIM. Im pre-occupied with my kids and I see how free spirited kids are and it rubs off. I needed it though!

Oh, my house cleaning has rather gone south, which I suppose balances out the handwashing benefit. But I am also more tolerant of other peoples' children - I'd even go so far to say that I was interested in them. I'm still up by my reckoning. I'm also pole-axed by compassion for all the babies in the world; every news story I think of I wonder how I'd feel if that was my son in that position. I do think of this as a definite moral gain, but my MIL says it wears off and she went back to general apathy and only specific, her son interest in a few years. I was rather hoping the handwashing at least would stick...

I also cant help but put myself in the mothers shoes when i read the papers, to the point i boo hoo whilst watching the news its heart breaking!

I'm a lot more tolerant and understanding of other children now as well, when before i would have brushed them off and shoo'ed them away!

I'm much more patient and tolerent of children (and adults!). And much more open to critical self analysis.

I'm so much more aware that we are all a product of where we come from, and not a series of considered choices which has made me loads less judgey (and ironically less tolerant of my own mother who is uber judgey) . So that one probably isn't a positive...

right now bad question. sleep deprivation and the stress of looking after 2 boys under five has made me a bit of a bitch TBH. my wit is now witless my sparkle is dull and i am permanently grumpy and a bit wobbly. Slightly less neurotically houseproud on the bright side...

I'm a much more patient teacher. I keep looking at pupils and think: this is somebody's child.