nursery.. it'll be ok won't it?

[MsSnellGrove]

DD is going to start nursery in a few weeks when she'll be nearly 9 months. I chose a nursery that seems fine and competent, but now i'm having negative comments from alot of people around me (family and friends) about how awful nurseries (in general) are, and also someone who went to visit the nursery i chose decided to tell me that it wasn't good enough for them to choose.
i don't want to leave DD, but i have to go back to work for various reasons and i had just about come to terms with it, but all these comments are making it difficult for me again.

does anybody have any positive things they could say about nurseries, to help me feel better about the whole thing?

DD started nursery for 4 days a week when she was 6 months old and loved it. I popped in at all sorts of times, and picked her up at different times and never found her upset/left crying/smelly etc. They kept a lovely photo log of what they had been doing and in the morning when I took her in and she saw her keyworker she would chuckle with delight and raise her arms to be taken by her for a cuddle. That was a good nursery and we were particularly lucky in that the baby room was staffed for a full 3 to 1 ratio to babies, but there were only actually 2 babies to each member of staff (it was on a military camp and some of the families who were going to put babies in had left.)

The main thing is whether you are happy with the nursery, and whether your DD settles there. It may be no bad thing to thing of alternative options for the worse case scenario (i.e you are not happy with the nursery or your DD does not settle.) Are there any other nurseries, or possibily childminders that you could have as a 'plan b'?

thanks notyummy, that sounds lovely, hoping mine will be like that...
thinking of my plan b now, hmm...

Both my children started around a similar age, and it has been a big part of their growing up. Yes, staff has turned over, and it can be annoying, but the lady who runs it has always been there and is now like an auntie to my children, and hundreds others who have passed through her hands over the years.. It's a common scene to see kids waving frantically to her as they pass on the way to school.
Our nursery is quite small, which I'm sure helps, but so long as it's not as big as a battery hen farm, it can be lovely and homely to them.
My children have wonderful social skills (can't be shut up, basically and will make friends with anybody anywhere) and they have had the opportunity to do loads of crafty things I never would have got round to, to play with toys that are so much more fun shared (and we never could have had, living in a tiny flat), to go on trips that I never would have dreamed of and so much more..
When DD left I was sobbing inconsolably for days before and after. DS will be finishing up this Summer and I can't even bring myself to think about it..

And finally, in case I haven't made my point yet my DS doesn't need to be there right now but he is there because I think it's the best place for him to be.. Obviously within the bigger picture of lots of other wonderful quality time with DH, his sister and I..
I genuinely feel nurseries can come in for some slack on MN and today I just happen to be in the humour for answering back!!!

Good luck to you!!

My son has attended two nurseries since he was 8 months old (we moved home)He is now four years and still loves it. He did go through a small stage of separation tears but they passed as soon as I was through the door. As an only child I think it is important for him to mix with other children and learn to mix socially. He starts Primary School in September and I am having thoughts of whether he will be happy there. I think it is more our guilt about leaving them than anything else

Your daughter will love it !!!

thanks mamsnet and vickibee. the thought of how much more they can get up to at nursery than i would have time/energy to do with them at home makes me feel better. also she is only child and don't plan on any more babies for a long, long time so hoping that it will help her out socially. and yep the guilt... soo much guilt!

My DS started nursery at 9 month and loves it. I always knew I'd have to go back to work, and for various reasons I preferred the idea of a nursery to a childminder. One of the real benefits for me is the range of stuff they do - all sorts of stuff I wouldn't think to do at home, or that I'd think he was too young for, and loads and loads of stuff that's way too messy for my tastes. Plus, he actually gets more input from staff than I was able to give him when I was trying to balance looking after him with cleaning the house/cooking dinner/doing various chores.

I don't know what your wider family is like, but I also like the fact that he mixes with a whole range of other children - particularly if likely to be an only. The friends children who have been to nursery tend (generalisation alert) to have much better social skills than those who've been at home.

One thing to bear in mind though - the range of illnesses they pick up to start with. I think it was about 3 months before DS did a full week... so make sure you've got back up plans for work (time off, someone else to step in). I think everyone goes through this at some point - so if it isn't now then it'll be pre-school or school - but it did take me by suprise!

My DD started nursery at 9 months and settled in well immediately. She is 2.3 now and still loves going. Someone I know with a baby the same age, who lives fairly close to this nursery, chose a different one that takes her 3x as long to get to... so I know how you feel about other people thinking your choice isn't quite good enough, OP. I am really happy with my choice, though, and I hope you will be similarly happy with yours.

Ds has been in nursery since January and he loves it. He still has a bitmof a cry when I drop him off but once I'm gone he has a whale of a time. Forget your friend. Do you like the nursery? If yes then don't worry. It's what you think that counts.
I have to go pick ds up now. No doubt he'll be covered in jam and glitter and will show me all the toys he's played with.

thank you all so much, it's made me feel loads better. and thanks for the warning about them being poorly at the beginning!