Honestly feel like I cannot cope with this anymore.

[angrymomma]

Have 3 DCs aged 9, 4 and 3.

Am finding myself getting more and more angry, frustrated, disillussioned, etc with being a parent.

In the week I can JUST, JUST, about cope, but really absolutely detest weekends.

Today, for example, I got up at 7am as DCs were waking and getting noisy. Weekdays, they have to be dragged out of bed.

Have not sat down since then, until now, when I realised I was completely starting to lose the plot.

DS1 has friend round, they all played hide and seek upstairs, noe it looks like we've been burgled. Kicked them all out into garden to play on trampoline. After 5 mins DS2 crying, DS1 climbing over the fence to go off and play with more friends on street.

DD screaming cos she wants to follow him, not allowed too young. She then spots some child on the park across the road and whines loudly that she wants to play on park too.
We have all already been on the park this morning, but came back in when DS2 threw DDs ball over into someones garden and she screamed the place down and whacked him.

Had to practically hoist DD into the house when she wanted to go back on park this afternoon. I explained that I just could not spend allday on the bloody park, now feel bad as she keeps giving me dirty looks. Am in middle of preparing our dinner so can't just go out and leave oven on.

Am always like this at weekends. Wake up every Saturday morning with a huge feeling of derad and just want to pull covers back over my head.

Don't think I can cope much longer and even shouted at them all earlier that I was going to bugger off and leave them to sort out their own mess for the weekend.

How do others cope?

I don't know and I can't imagine 3 today .

My weekends are shitty too but I only have two. DS is 3.10 and DD is 15 months.

This weekend I've just wanted to pack my bags and get on a train to anywhere but here.

My DH works 6 days so Saturday is my least favourite day of the week. I actually have 3 kids on a Saturday, my two and my mother! Yesterday I just felt so exhausted and low by the time DH got home and I can barley get through the bedtime routine without screaming like a loony.

Today (sundays) can be just as crap as DH wants to make a day of it out all day as it's his only day with us. It is usually lots of hastle. Screaming DD in car or DS just being a total pain.

All I can say is, I kind of know how you feel.

Is it just me or are boys around 3/4 one of the worst ages ever? I could actually feel myself really tempted to slap his face today and i've never hit or thought of hitting my kids before.

He just makes it his mission to be as annoying and irratating as humanly possible until he has us literally at boiling point. He wants 24/7 attention and if he isn't getting it he will go out of his way to be as much a a pain in the arse as he can.

While he is doing his usual antics my DD is usually whining about something and im exhausted.

I know I need a holiday or something but can't afford it right now. What about you? Do you have help? Could you arrange a break of any sort with or without the kids?

Sometimes it just all gets on top of you and something has to give.

Im not sure what to do myself but if you can get a break then go for it.

Would love a break, but there's no one else around to help.

We usually visit my mum on a Sat afternoon, but that only gives me a chance to nip to the shop or library on my own for an hour.

I just feel so guilty as I just seem to be turning into a really nagging, shouty person. One of those mothers who you see screeching at their sobbing Dcs in the supermarket.
DS2 is nagging at me right this minute to pick up his blanket for him....I am other side of room and he is sitting next to dropped blanket!

Would love to hear from someone too who has 3 or more DCs, as I can just about remember having the 2 and what bliss and how easy it all was then.

Is the father in the picture?

I have 3, they are 6, almost 4, and 21 months, I am also 7 months pregnant, to say I struggle is an understatement!

I find going out with all 3 a bit of a nightmare as dd1 is like a whippet on speed , 21 month ds is intent on climbing everything in sight, and is also a repeat offender at shoving random crap up his nose which resulted in 6 hours in A&E a few weeks ago, dd2 is pretty chilled and laid back and I thank god for her as if she were as hard work as the other 2 I think I would have packed my bags a long time ago!

I manage to (barely) cope by military planning...everything ironed on a sunday for the whole week, school/nursery bags packed night before, packed lunch for dd1 made the night before, anything I can do in advance I do, as otherwise I have no hope of ever getting to school, at the weekends I am usually on my own with them as dp works every sat day and night, and sometimes either works again sunday day or spends the whole day in bed catching up on sleep, I try and take them out as they are awful if kept in all day (tiny garden) but usually try and arrange to go with friends/relatives so I have extra hands/eyes to help out,I prefer to have them out as much/long as possible as then have less clearing up to do indoors one thing I dont cope AT ALL with though, is cooking dinner while all 3 are in the living room, its carnage every night so will watch with interest to see if anyone has any ideas on that one!

I thought the same as winnybella. Is their dad around?

Taper, I do that, make sure all clothes are ironed and set out for the morning, all bowls and cups set out for beakfast, all bags packed etc. With me, though, it's keeping on top of all this cooking and cleaning shit, and also being a 'fun' mum, not just a complete nagger.

Dad not in pic anymore. We were to gether for 11 years, but he was selfish to the core. Basically, we split because he did not give enough time to his family. He was not out working all hours, like some worthy dad, just believed that, as he worked in the week, then he was entitled to lounge arounge in bed and play sport at the weekends.

So we split and he no longer sees them. He told me before we split that he would not be a weekend dad as that was 'HIS time.

Angrymomma, I feel for you. My sister has 3 DCs and has split from her cheating, lying, thieving husband (thankfully) and like you the struggle of managing two boys and a little girl really gets to her and she does have meltdowns.

I'm interested in knowing more about the early stages of the breakdown of your marriage. My DH works hard and likes to do nothing on the weekends and it really gets on my nerves. I actually made him leave for a week about 6 months ago to see if we missed him and it was the best thing I did as he did improve. Sadly, the old ways are creeping back and this weekend was HELL.

Ginabraz, main reason for my split from DH was because he would not participate in weekends. I was sick and tired of other couples doing family stuff like going to park, walking, playing in the garden, whatever. I live opposite a park and it gets pretty busy at the weekends...and most of the adults on there with kids are men.

I'm afraid your DH sounds scarily just like mine. Don't get me wrong, I did not begrudge him wanting to relax at the weekends, but he was doing it at my expense. My weekends are hectic now as its just me , but even when DH was here, it was just as stressful and hard work for me.

Angrymomma, I feel silly for moaning now. I think you sound like are doing a brilliant job taking care of all 3 on your own.

God your Ex sounds so bloody selfish. Imagine not seeing his kids because his weekends are his own - what a tosser and well done for not putting up with him. Not a good example for your boys so they will be better off without in the long run.

My dad was this type but my mum stayed with him for 28 miserable (for everyone) years then split when I was 21. I wish she had been a lot stronger like you.

you have one at 3 and one at 4. This is a tough age I think.

What about meeting with friends who have kids at the weekend?

Is there any clubs/activities you can have even one of them go to?

Even going to church (im not religious) just so they have sunday school and related activities from that.

Can you not speak to your mum? Maybe get more time with her at weekends or have her watch them once a month for a whole day Saturday?

Im running out of ideas but all I can say is, one day they will all be too busy going out with their friends and you will have the whole weekend to yourself. I dream about it too .

I would suggest:

• sit the children down and say that this is not working, you need their help, you need to make it all work together as a family
• make schedule with small clear tasks for each child to do and a reward chart
• explain which rewards they can earn, for example, going to the park, maybe doing a game together, don't know your children/budget, but it is important to discuss this upfront
• make a plan for the weekend, most household work is probably better done during the week when they are at school but it is good if they help with little outstaning jobs, e.g. empty dishwasher/doing washing up, helping with cooking, quick tidy of bedrooms, tidying up after playing
• establish clear rules about playing nicely, each child that plays nicely gets a star on reward chart (or whatever type of reward system you wan't to use), if they don't play nicely, star is taken away from card (but give a warning first though!).

Hope this helps. Good luck.

angrymomma, i know just how you feel. I love Friday evenings/Sat mornings after being at work all week but by Sunday I've totally lost the plot. Thank god for Monday mornings.

It's my 4 year old that wears me out but I get cross with my older DDs because they should be helping more rather than fighting and stropping about everything. My weekends were actually worse when I was married, at least now I expect to have to do everything myself. This 50/50 parenting sounds fab, if only!!!

I go on trips with singlewithkids (single parent holidays) and I've met some great single parents. It's made such a difference being able to spend time with other people on a weekend and the kids have a great time too.