Does nany get in your way?

[justlookatthatbooty]

Considering a part time nanny. Am self employed with both kids at home (3 years and 19 months). Currently I am at work at 0730 - 0930 to work with two clients before going back home so that my DC can go to work for the day, whilst I am with both DC's. I do this 4 days a week and wonder how long I can keep it up before crashing. The fifth day I work the whole day with clients. Am considering hiring a part time nanny (increase in productivity and increased work hours will more than pay for it) but am wondering, since I will be in and out and my hours will shift around, will she get in my way?
What are other's experiences of having a non sole charge nanny?

Thanks!

Should have been NANNY of course. Should refrain from sending messages whilst children climb on me.

I think it really depends on the person. Even though neither have been non-sole charge, we had a first nanny who was a pain in the neck and really difficult with me and now we have someone who is just brilliant. She is like a friend. I think even in your situation it wouldn´t be difficult with her, because we just get on so well and she works around me and I work around her. I think the very most important thing is that you find the right person. Keep looking and looking and looking until you find someone who you could imagine being your sister or your best friend. I looked for so long, but then really found the perfect person. They do exist!
Try on the nannies, childminders, au pairs forum too!

I think that depends on the nanny. Some are very experienced at working with and around WFH parents or flexible enough to adapt. Some definitely prefer to have sole charge but if you write 'the ad clearly they won't be applying for your job!

It makes it easier on the nanny if when you're out or working you stay out of the way, you both need to be on the same page about discipline and activities and you need to be prepared to back her up 100% in front of the children, even if at the time you'd have let them have that biscuit before lunch, and then talk it through later. She needs to do the same with you.

You might be better with a mothers help type person who is capable of sole charge but when you're at home can step back and get on with nursery duties and maybe some light housekeeping.

Although I've used she you can get male nannies too!

Indeed probably more of a mother's help than a nanny Snap...
Met with a lovely lady from the Phillipines this morning, who seemed to have most of the attributes that I'm looking for and I can imagine feeling comfortable with when our paths cross.
I'm hoping that having the services of such a nanny/mother's help four days a week 6-8 hours a day will be an asset in affording us more flexibility. At present I can't take either of the children swimming because I"m always with both of them. But I am wondering if I'll end up feeling that I have to schedule all of the hours....will there be any room left for spontaneity? I guess I can always ask her to go out with one of the kids whilst I have quiet one on one time with one of them, or to go out with both whilst I get some admin done?
She said she is totally fine with doing light housework and cooking.
Is four days a week, 6-8 hours a day too much? Any others out there with a mother's help/shared care nanny with advice on hours?

Be very careful checking right to work with Filipinas - they do have a reputation for being EXCELLENT at shared care but sometimes their visas are tied to their present job.

You shouldn't need to schedule the hours that tightly because in some senses if you or they need micromanagement to that extent there's something fundamentally wrong with the relationship. They should be able to occupy the children when you need time to work alone, do nursery/household duties when you want some time with both of the children, care for one if you want to take the other to a doctor's appointment or swimming class and generally work with and around you when necessary.

The level of autonomy is I think is one of the fundamental differences between a good shared care nanny/mother's help and one who expects to have sole charge. A really good shared care nanny is capable of getting on with things which need doing and stepping into the breach (a less effective one needs a lot more direction) and a good total sole charge nanny is a self-starter who you can just let get on with everything, but the flipside is that they may not work well with you if you want to upset 'their' schedule. They can be truly excellent nannies who work well with parents...just not well around them!

I had a non-sole charge nanny and found her frankly quite irritating. She didn't do things the way I would and it annoyed me. But it does depend on the person. I am quite structured with the children (i.e. today we will do X and Y) whereas she was a 'let's get all the toys out and sit on the floor while I read a magazine' type of person

What about a childminder or a private nursery? you can adapt the hours as you need and you also have your home free.

Thanks so much for advice and tips.

Snap thanks for your input....I had the feeling during the interview that this lady would be good at working with and around my family in a shared care position. The visa thing is something to look at more closely but so far I understand that in being with her Dutch husband she is fulfilling relationship visa requirements.

WhoMovedMy I also had one of those. She was opinionated and highly irritating and we ended up falling out. Thus my hesitation second time around. This is one of the reasons that I've chosen to interview only non Europeans this time around. I need someone to come along and counteract all the rule-driven, dissassociated Dutch that my children are surrounded by!

NicksChickTried nursery, which didn't work out. Abysmal levels of care and below average levels of intelligence and training from the people working in them in all of the 15 or so we've visited and/or tried. I live in the Netherlands. Managed to find a childminder but her husband smokes heavily (out the window of another room +not good enough) so the kids come home stinking of fags, and they don't go outside and watch too much TV. She's lovely but due to the above I reserve her for urgents of backups. Haven't found any other childminders that I thought were trustworthy and thought the best would be a nanny/babysitter. But yes, I feel like keeping 2 days a week nanny free in the house because I can imagine that it would be a bit like having a permanent house guest otherwise, in terms of having someone else, a non family member to think of, or in this case work with/around, all the time.

I hardly ever have days, unless one of us is sick where we just mooch about the house, but recently I've been less and less inclined to do the travelling to cool things outside sorts of activities that I've always had the energy for. If having a nanny around means I can drive across town to the only preschool that I believe in, English speaking where my son can get respect and quality and I can meet other expat mums (yes please, so very much in need of speaking my own language) then I just turn somersaults at the idea. Currently not possible to go with both kids.

Perhaps it could be an idea to work with her for a couple of days a week and hope that if it works out she's still available for more?

Guess I'm trying to weigh up the pros and cons. Perhaps I should start a different thread. Pros and cons of a Shared Care Nanny.