co sleeping questions

[Boblina]

HI everyone can someone please explain to me what you mean by co sleeping. I get it that they sleep in your bed. But does it mean that DC does not go to bed until you do? Or if they do where? When do you stop co sleeping ie when do they move into their own bed? Is the transit easy? My DS2 is 16 months and does not sleep. Putting him to bed can sometimes take up to 2 hours (not usual but sometime) and during the night it he can wake 3 mostly more times a night. We have tried the controlled crying and we have tried him in the cot and us (one of us) sitting near by. Now we are so tired that when he wakes in the night and we cannot settle him he just comes into our bed. Not what we wanted but ... SO grateful for your thoughts/advice on co sleeping

Well, the way we've done it is by having a 3-sided bedside cot. We used to put the baby to bed on her own in the evening and then join her later.

And if it seemed likely that she would roll around too much for safety I would leave the 4th side on the cot until I went to bed, when I would take it off so that she could cuddle when she woke in the night.

The way we managed the transition to her own bed (we've done this with dd1, dd2 is still in with us) was by putting a low bed next to our bed first of all, and then moving that bed into her new bedroom after a few weeks. It was fine, no problem at all.

PS now that dd2 is a bit older, I leave the 4th side on the cot all the time and just have our bed shoved up against it. So when she wakes (nowadays not till early morning) I just lift her straight over the side of the cot into our bed and she'll snuggle in for a couple of hours with me. Maybe that set up would work for you? It's a sort of half-way house I suppose.

What ages are we talking about?

I moved dd1 out into her own room at two and a half, but I presume you could do it whenever you felt it was right. It just felt like the right time to me as she had finally learned to settle to sleep without being cuddled!

We mostly co-slept with our ds's when they were really little (under 1) and they probably would go down a bit earlier than us- I would generally bf/settle them on our bed, then maybe if they were old enough to roll, put them in their own bed for a bit then when we went to bed we would bring them back in. It probably sounds a bit complicated but it felt quite natural. It meant we had the bed to ourselves for a bit if we wanted it (!) but we weren't having to get up in the middle of the night.

Our ds 3 has been a terrible sleeper; we moved house when he was just under 2- just when he had been much more settled in his own bed in the evenings and we spent a long time with him on the sofa with us til we went to bed. I did find this stressful as I felt I had no personal space but I couldn't face c.crying and just like you, I could be in his (or our) room for 2hrs trying to settle him. We got him out of this phase by putting him in a bed not a cot- (well it's actually a mattress on the floor as we still haven't got round to building the bed!) which he seemed to prefer then we shortened his day time nap (not easy) then I did spend a good few weeks sitting in his room til he dropped off (I found reading by torchlight made it less painful). It has more or less worked. He 'gets' the whole bedtime routine now and usually sleeps through, and if he does come into us he just comes in himself.

I can't really remember what we did with the other two but I think it was similar and they are both now really good sleepers and neither of them have been in our bed at all since they were maybe three, and between two and three it was less and less I would say. I do think there are lots of benefits to co-sleeping but sometimes I am extremely envious of friends whos kids have slept through from 6 weeks!!!

Sorry so long but hope it helps!

My two go to bed at 7,in our bed,as although DD1 does have a bed of her own she wants to be in ours still.I stay with them until they are asleep,come downstairs,have supper etc and then toddle off to bed later and squeeze in with them.DH either squashes in somehow ,sleeps on a mattress next to ours meant for Dd1,or sleeps in Dd1s proper bed in the girl's room,depending on how bad his back or mine is on any given night!
I also know quite a lot of people whose child starts the night in their own bed but comes in with the parents later as they sleep better that way.

I have a cot next to our bed, with one side down, but we rarely use it! I put my twins (5 months) to bed in our bed at about 7, then leave them to do dinner etc. Then when we go to bed, I squeeze in down one side, and depending on the day of the week/his tiredness, DH either squeezes down the other side, sleeps in the spare room, or we move the babies into the cot by the bed. If rhey make it into the cot they rarely stay there past the first night feed though :-)

I really didn't think I'd go for cosleeping, but I truely love it. There is nothing nicer than waking up next to two sleepy babies, except waking up to two sleepy babies and my DH!

NB there isn't really room for 2+2 in a kingsize. The biggest 2 don't get much sleep ...

When dd was a baby we had a bedside cot attached to our bed. Most of the time I was so knackered that I slept when she went to sleep. Whenever dd was ill/not sleeping well, dh slept in spare bedroom to get unbroken night of sleep. When dd was a little older she slept with us during the night but in her own bed during the afternoon. She went to bed around 20.00/21.00h as she used to have a long afternoon sleep and it gave dh some time with her when he came back from work. This went on until she was about 4. Since then she really wanted herself to sleep in her own bed in her own room with all her little things around her. As it was her own choice the transition was extremely easy. Now she only sleeps with me if she is ill and I want to keep a close eye on her/give medication during the night. In those situations dh sleeps in spare bedroom to have good night of sleep. When dd was a baby I found that co-sleeping gave me more (or better) sleep, as I did not have to get up to feed her but just had her in our bed (although we had a bedside cot, quite soon she only wanted to sleep against me in our bed and only play in the cot) as I was breastfeeding. For us it worked well although I never drink any alcohol if dd sleeps with me just to make sure that I am easy to wake by her if necessary. In practice I am always awake just before her.

DS is 7 months. He has a cot with the side down bungied to the side of our bed. He goes down in the cot, or in our bed while feeding (then transferred when I want to sleep), but when he wakes at about 4am, I bring him into bed to feed and he stays there with me as I usually fall asleep once he has latched on until he wakes for the next feed. If DH is away, he comes in with me all night, the cot is mostly because he likes to spread out and DH gets shoved out.
He comes up to bed about half 9 for his last feed in bed then sleep by about half 10. He's not showing any indication of being sleepy earlier in the evening, so I'm not going to battle with him to go down (he usually has a long nap late afternoon until dinner time). If he needs to lie down for an afternoon nap, he will go in the cot, or on the living room floor.

We co-slept because my little girl was a very very very cuddly baby having had reflux when she was little etc...so I would settle her to sleep in our bed at her bed time, which varied according to her needs really...then we would go to bed later. we did this until she was 14 months...however...I honestly didn't sleep well when she was in with us and ended up really quite unwell. I am a rubbish sleeper anyway but I just found myself constantly on alert. I did it because she hated her cot, I think she only ever spent one night in it(!) and because it is easier to feed and settle back to sleep if they are in with you.

We went away for a weekend over christmas and she slept in a travel cot (I settled her in our bed then transfered her) so I took the plunge and moved her when we got back. We put her on a mattress on the floor at the bottom of our bed and after a couple of evenings she got used to it. That was 3 months ago and she loves it. I was a bit emotional because although it could be a pain having her in with us, it was also lovely to have her so close and to wake up with her touching my eyes or nose or whatever. It has made no difference to her sleeping whatsoever, it is only in the last couple of weeks she has started to sleep through and i have no idea why, she is 17 months old.

oh I forgot to say...my OH built a family bed...so we had our king size bed then we bought a single and he built a frame for the whole thing. We also used an old cot and some now wooden round poles and put a cot around the two sides which were open. It was a bit odd all of us sleeping in a cot for a few months but it was pretty cosy!

14 m.o. DS goes to bed (mattress on the floor) early in the evening & I join him at my bedtime. I love co-sleeping: I sleep better than ever in my life. We only started doing it properly at about 11 months, although we sort-of co-slept on & off from 4 months onwards.

Thanks everyone for your experiences. It is very helpful to see what people sis and are doing