Would you tell your child not to play with another child?

[Carrotsandcelery]

That is it really! Would you tell your child that they are not to play with another child?

Why?
If it's because the child is prone to hitting or biting mine then yes, I might suggest he finds someone else to play with.
Other than that, I can't quite see why you would.

DS is autistic and gets into altercations with other children at times. Generally these other children might have issues of their own and I do advise DS to find other companions at playtime - he's 8.

Dd is 8 and has now had several months of a child pinching and hitting her.
What I have told her is ' play with whoever you want but, if child x hits pinches or slaps you...walk away and play with someone else. If she follows you or asks tell her ' I am going to play elsewhere because I am not going to play with someone who is being mean'

As a consequence she seems to play occasionally with this girl but seldom for more than a few minutes. This child seems to have no special needs but seems unable to learn this simple thing. She also seems very keen on dd which is sad.

Depends what is going on, where and how old the children are.

Have you got a particular problem at the moment?

My ds is 6. He does not hit or bite or anything like that. The mother of one of his friends has told her son not to play with my son. (She has also gone round our little village encouraging others to boycott my son but that is another thread.) Her son seems to want to play with my son and my son wants to play with him. I am really confused. I just wanted to know if this was normal and acceptable behaviour or if this was a bit odd. It is sometimes hard to view things with appropriate perspective when your own child is involved.

Yes, on the advice of his teacher, after he was being repeatedly hit by another boy in school, we told him to try and stay away from him, but not to run away. If the boy was bothering him he was to hold his hand up and say "Stop that X" and move away but not run away and show fear. Was quite difficult to explain though.

Have you asked the mother why?

Are they at the same school? Have you asked at school if anything is going on?

No. This is not normal and you should find out what is going on.

Fwiw if a mother came to me and tried to encourage me to boycott a child I would assume she was and or unpleasant. And I rarely do what other mums tell me - not being 8 years old.

x-posted there. Does seem a bit odd. Are you on speaking terms with the mother?

yep. ask her.

The other mums have not paid any attention to her, other than being a bit wary of her now.
I have asked the school about it and they have watched the boys closely for quite a long time now. My ds has not done anything to cause concern in this time, despite being watched. Her ds has done a few things but nothing very unusual for a child that age really and I have not made a fuss. The only things I have complained about are the comments that the other boy makes to my ds along the lines of "My Mum says x, y or z about you..." I have had these things put on record at school as I fear this is not going to calm down anytime soon.
I was on speaking terms with the mother but I have quietly backed off gradually as she was scaring me too. She has stalked me down the street going on about my son, when I know that what she is saying about him is not true as the school has been watching them. I am too scared to raise it with her as I don't think she is capable of having a reasonable and balanced conversation with me. I think the school are struggling with her too at the moment.
I am glad that others think this is odd as it is really rattling my own self confidence in my judgement, not to mention the devastating impact it has had on my ds personality.

Your DS is 6 and this other mother is bad-mouthing him to anyone who will listen? She sounds like she has some serious problems!
What is her DS like, apart from repeating his mother's bitchy ill-advised comments to your DS?

Are there any other reasons why she might have taken against your son and even you, I mean is she some kind of -ist? (racist, classist, religious bigot, that kind of thing)

When I was at primary school my best friend was a boy. When we moved into year four his mum instructed him on no account was he to play with me any more as I was a girl :(

Last I heard he was openly bisexual and extremely camp and seems happy in himself - good for him, at the idea of what his bigoted mother must think!

I would tell my DD not to play with someone if they were hurting her.
I think the mum in this situation is a loon and the other mothers will think so too I imagine.

Have you had another thread like this?

I have told my child to stay away from another child as they have been getting mine into trouble. My child has misbehaved some times but not all the times this child has said.

I can't believe you needed to ask. Of course the other mother is not behaving normally. Asking her DS not to play with yours is one thing, but haranguing you about the boys' relationship, or trying to persuade others their children shouldn't play with yours, is completely barking.

Hopefully her medication will kick in sometime soon.

Weird. Good that you've let the school know. Hard to know what to say as the other woman is obviously not listening to the school and any interaction with her might make things worse.

Something similar happening with a Mum at our school. One of DS's friends told me that this Mum told her daughter that not only was the daughter not allowed to play with my son, but neither were her friends. Luckily, the children have just ignored it, and the other school parents agree that the Mum is just weird.

bibbity I have posted about earlier stages of this whole fiasco - this is a new delight for me to face. When I see it written down it is obvious she has a problem but when it is happening to you, you do begin to wonder if you are deluded and actually all her behaviour is justified. She seems so confident in her behaviour that it makes you question yourself and wonder whether you are the nutter, not her!