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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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Original poster

Please reassure me I handled this properly.

20 replies

FourFortyFour · 15/03/2011 18:20

DS2 was sent to the step for 5 minutes for dropping the camera on the floor. He wouldn't go and yelled NO! at me. I had to put him there. He wouldn't stay and kept running off. Twice he got to his room and slammed the door on me. I kept bringing him down and putting him on the step. If he stayed still I set the timer, if he moved I stopped it. I told him this would happen. While on the step he throw a box at me, kicked me and broke his brother's train track. Before he ripped up a lovely picture he had done. Eventually he stayed in the general area of the step and did his 5 minutes. It had taken the best part of 15 minutes.

He was sent to the step.
Refused to go.
I put him there.
He ran off.
I kept putting him back until he stayed and did the time.

Did I do that right?

He then apologised did seem to have calmed down as he realised I meant it.

Meanwhile I have a headache and back and arm pain.

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ShowyTech · 15/03/2011 18:25

I don't know your child or how he normally behaves. Is this common for him? Might there have been a reason for his behaviour? Not hungry/tired/ill?

If it's the method of discipline you have chosen and are happy with, then I think only you can know if it's 'right' or if it 'works'.

Horrid for you though. Can you have a bath/tea/wine/painkillers/all of the above?

notsweatingthesmallstuff · 15/03/2011 18:26

Supernanny would approve! It sounds as if you followed the routine. I take it ds is 5, assuming a minute for every year? Just wondering though, was the camera an accident, deliberate naughtiness, or a reaction to something? I have found that when a child goes "off" like that it is sometimes because they feel they have been treated unfairly.

Original poster

FourFortyFour · 15/03/2011 18:30

He has become really naughty just lately and is so at school as well which is a huge as my others are really good at school.

He dropped it on purpose when asked to put it away after refusing to stop taking photos near DS1.

He is very confident and full of attitude.

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Firawla · 15/03/2011 18:54

I think it sounds okay, taking 15 mins does not sound too bad compared to some I have heard taking hours!

Original poster

FourFortyFour · 15/03/2011 19:06

Thank you. I am exhausted.

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 15/03/2011 19:11

so... he got 15 minutes of your attention, tore up a picture, threw something at you, broke his brother's toy, ran off repeatedly and then didn't even have to sit on the step to do his 5 minutes anyway?
then he says sorry and it's all ok?

what do you think he has learned from it?

TheVisitor · 15/03/2011 19:11

Sounds very reasonable to me.

Original poster

FourFortyFour · 15/03/2011 19:12

He DID do his 5 minutes on the step.

"I kept putting him back until he stayed and did the time."

As stated in my OP.

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 15/03/2011 19:14

" Eventually he stayed in the general area of the step and did his 5 minutes."

Original poster

FourFortyFour · 15/03/2011 19:15

And?

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 15/03/2011 19:16

well, i assumed that "general area" meant not actually on the step?

Original poster

FourFortyFour · 15/03/2011 19:16

I just knew someone would pick up on that. He was sat on the floor rather than the step. The floor right in front of the step.

OP posts:

rosie1979 · 15/03/2011 19:19

It sounds draining and exhausting.

I dont "do" the step though, I dont think it works.

I would have made him put the camera away and ignored him.

thisisyesterday · 15/03/2011 19:19

so, what's the difference between him doing 5 minutes in his room or doing 5 minutes on the floor?
i just can't help but think that if you are doing a naughty step type punishment that they have to sit on the step surely?
otherwise isn't he getting his own way by not doing it?

Original poster

FourFortyFour · 15/03/2011 19:24

He sat in front of the step. That was enough for me.

OP posts:

MCos · 15/03/2011 23:39

Infront of the step sounds OK to me too.

We had a naughty chair. Initially, DD2 used to react like your son. But after a while she'd just sit on the chair (and bawl crying) for her minutes. I haven't had to use the naughty chair with more than a year - but it is still called the naughty chair!

TheLemur · 16/03/2011 10:17

I think you sound very patient and saw through what you set out to do

FollowMe · 16/03/2011 10:28

Sounds like you did really well to me

oliviaaah · 18/03/2011 14:28

I used this technique with my DS, and for me the crucial bit is that at the end of the agreed time I sat down next to him and we had a calm chat about what had just happened. Who did what, what it made the other person feel etc. I always tried to be certain that I had calmed down enough to be reasonable and non confrontational. Mostly (not always!) this worked and we could finish the whole episode off with a hug.

quickchat · 20/03/2011 20:23

Hi Fourfortyfour.

I've had a nightmare weekend with DS, nearly 4. I use the naughty step too but it's wearing thin with him now. He seems to just be misbehaving 5 minutes after the step/sorry anyway.

I think im just going to put him in his room from now on as he can't get any attention in there.
He acts up on the step, screaming and throwing stuff too and I feel he is using it like a stage!

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