son stole money from dad :(

[maypole1]

this morning my oh checked his wallet and £20 was missing £10 went missisng last week and to be honest one coincednce to far.
i patted my son down as he is prone to taking toys into school with out asking.

nothing when he came home i said to him is their somthing your not telling me him"no"

me"did you see dads wallet this moring "
Him"yes over on the shelf"
me "did you see what it had in it"
Him"yes it had twent oh"
me "so how did you know it had £20 in it"
HIM"I SAW HIM PUT IT IN THEIR"
mE22NO YOU DIDNT DAD WENT TO THE CASH POINT AT 12AM YOU WERE IN BED AND DAD DIDNT HAVE ANY CASH FOR THE WHOLE DAY IN HIS WALLET"

ANY WAY HE FINALLY CAME CLEAN said he wanted it so he could buy food at schooli was like what a whole £20i aksed him for the moneyt and he said it was in his tray at school so i rang the school and they said they could only find £5 of it he then said the rest is hidden so we shall be taking him in tomrrow to get the money and have a chat with his teacher gurrrr

any way we have had problems in the past with him sealing money i took him down the police staion this was when he was 7 scared the daylights out of him but now at 11 i am worried thats its all satring up again i feel like a bad mum

i read him the riot act sent him to his room he will be up their for at least 2 weeks no going to his grampys house at the weekend and no after school clubs.

i dont no what elese to do i feel hopeless is this a sign of things to come have visions of him becoming a robber when hes older

my oh thinks hes ging the money to kids in his class as he dosent have many friends and has been bullied for most of last term

advice please ladies sorry so long

it could very easily be that he is being bullied. You need to get to the bottom of this.

and he should do jobs around the house to pay back the money.

I think your husband may be right and you should ask your ds if that is the case.If so then school may be able to help.Maybe 2 weeks of no treats is too long-what would he feel if you told his grandpa about it and asked for his help?As for the clubs does he enjoy them?Does he have friends there?Does he get pocket money?If he does then he should pay back what he stole.If he doesnt then that may be the answer.He needs to feel loved and you and your dh need to present a united front.If you are too punitive he will feel isolated and less likely to do as he should.I think talking calmly is the way to go with a cuddle at the end of it.

he loves going to his clubs and actually has manged to make some friends their well, oh just got home and you can imagian whats gone on he has now confessed he no longer has the full £20 and have give £5 each to 2 boys and brought some food with the money hence the teacher only having found £5.

well we have a meeting with the teacher so well shall soon find out if that is indeed the case.

he gets £3 pocket money a week, we satred that up in responce to what happend when he was 7 and foolishly though having his won money would help him see the value of it

i get your staying he needs to feel loved but to be honest i can barley look at him right now i am so cross and he is not even sorry which is really making me cross.

and he also confessed to taking small change from the shelf for the last couple of months as well

this really doent seem normal for a 11 year old i just feel so do you think he needs to see somone

grampy is not much use really hes a bit of a fum mister and is grate at whooping it up but not so good at the serious stuff.

i think i might wait until the teacher has spoken to the kids he has given money to first as if hes not being bullied i dont want him saying he was to get out of trouble

do you think he needs to see somone hes not sorry for what hes done only that hes being punished

do you think he needs to see somone hes not sorry for what hes done only that hes being punished

Who would he need to see? I think the boys who accepted the money should be made to give it back and your DS should do jobs as a punishment.
I think, considering how much he likes his after school stuff you shouldn't stop him going. The shame of asking for the cash back would be punishment enough.
Definitely involve the school regarding the bullying though.

He doesn't need to see someone, he needs you to stick to the rules, make him see that bad choices have consequences and do some tough parenting.
It's very common for children to push the boundaries of what's acceptable, including stealing, drinking, mucking around with friends, and a parent's role to guide them through it.