3/4 year old in downstairs bedroom - what do you think?

[lucysnowe]

Hi all

Putting this in parenting because it's something I'm 'discussing' with DH .

We live in a 2-bed semi. We have a room downstairs which is currently an office/place to put piano/books, junk etc.

DH is suggesting that next year DD can move into it and the new DC can move into her room. She'll be about 4 by then.

I am not convinced, because

1. the room has a MASSIVE fireplace
2. It has v. large windows that look out onto the front drive
3. It is right next to the sitting room, and the noise protection isn't great
4. Everyone else (and the one bathroom) will be upstairs.
5. I work freelance from home and I'd have to move all my stuff into the sitting room, which is not really ideal.

The fireplace can be blocked, and the windows locked, but I'm still not convinced. I would prefer the DCs to share. The upstairs room isn't big, but it could fit a bed and cot alright, and then... bunkbeds?

What do you think, am I just being precious??

Sounds like a massive inconvenience and not a room particularly suitable to be a bedroom (would your dh want to sleep in there?). I'd put them both in together. I have quite a few friends with three bed houses but the dcs share so that they have a spare room, seems to work well mostly.

watching with interest. DH suggesting similar solution for DS when we have another dc. Doesn't sit quite right with me...
also concerns about it seeming like we are turfing ds out of 'his' room aand 'replacing' him with baby.

I can't see any advantages to your dh's suggestion here. Young children like sharing a bedroom ime.

My neighbours youngest slept downstairs from being 8 months old as he couldn't settle with anyone else in the room and would spend most of the night crying. Once he was downstairs in the dining room he slept solidly.
He was however safely in a cot and couldn't explore the fireplace or windows. By the time he was out of a cot he was sharing with his brother.

Your scenario doesn't seem that good. How does dd feel about moving downstairs and would you need to make a lot of adjustments to make the room sleepable?

Hmm it's hard to ask DD because she is not quite three and not quite on a practical plane, IYSWIM. But DH asked her if she wanted it to be her bedroom, and she said 'yes'. For me, it doesn't seem a very bedroomy room at all and would require a lot of upheaval to make it suitable.

The previous occupants did use it as a bedroom, BTW, but for their teenage daughter.

I wouldn't do it for a 3/4 year old tbh, I just would feel so uncomfortable knowing my child was sleeping downstairs and I was upstairs. What if someone broke in/there was a fire...

Sharing seems like a much better idea for the time being, maybe once the children are a lot older maybe make it into your bedroom and give one of the dc your room upstairs.

we are thinking about this in the long term, We have 8 of us living/staying in a 3 bed semi. We have the option of closing our back room off as there is two accesses into kitchen from hall way and front room and making it into our room as eventually we will have 5 girls sharing a bedroom and that just isn't enoughh room (council house so no chance of a move)

Why can't they share a room? Seems like a much more sensible option.

Sharing makes more sense, but just factor in the bunk bed warning that they shouldn't be used by children under 6 (not my opinion, an official one - my opinion is it depends on the child), but your new DC will only be two or three, and even if you tell them not to climb up a bunk, what's to stop them?

We're going through similar dilemma (although upstairs room) - DD1 is nearly 4, DD2 is 2.5 and DS is six weeks old, so even if I get a bunk for the girls to use, in theory I should wait six years (which is six years too many for the room we have).

Other than the bunk bed issue, I think the downstairs room for her sounds like a mad suggestion. Is there any leverage in you and DH moving downstairs and having a study-cum-bedroom for yourselves, freeing up your current bedroom should the sharing not work out?

If it has to be a bedroom maybe you and dh should have it and have both dc safe upstairs.

my sister and her other half use a downstairs room as their bedroom and the kids have the upstairs bedrooms. Could that be an option for you?

Bunks would be unsafe for that age - own bedroom is therfore much better option.

We had to do this in our old house - I was worried about DD climbing and falling down the stairs when she needed a wee in the night. So I bought a more sustantial potty for her room from a disabled products supplier. We got window locks and
safety-filmed the glass too. She slept there for 12 months until we could afford a new house. I did miss my study and working on the kitchen table was not ideal but it worked OK.

I wouldn't feel comfortable with it but not really sure why. Our sons have shared a room since the youngest was 18 months and eldest was 3 1/2 yrs. They had bunk beds as not enough room for 2 single beds and we never had any problems with them.

Good to know about your experience with bunks choccy - it would help us a lot

(somehow managed to delete end part of last message )

... if we could fit a bunk in for our DCs :)

We have a similar layout in our house (2 bedrooms upstairs, 1 downstairs) and I went through similar questioning when we first moved in when dc were 3 and 5. In the end, I decided to keep my kids sharing a bedroom. We did not use bunks because ds has a penchant for falling out of them. Ds had a captain's bed which had built in storage and a desk and that worked pretty well.

Now, ds is 10 and dd is 8 and we have just moved ds into the downstairs bedroom a few months ago. It has been perfect timing and there have been no issues at all. We did propose it to ds about a year ago (Dd would have never been happy sleeping that far away from the rest of the family as she is up with night terrors and nightmares several times a week still), but he wasn't enthusiastic at the time and I got the feeling that he would have felt somehow isolated or rejected from the rest of the family. Now at 10, he desperately needed some privacy and separation from his sister and he came to us and asked to be moved downstairs. Now, even with the wisdom of hindsight, I am still really glad that we did it this way.

I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling that it's somehow not quite right! (Have tried to be as impartial as possible but it's hard ). I think the room would be fine for an almost teenager, but for a near toddler it seems really dodgy. She might get stuck up the chimney!

Bubba and choccy, many thanks for the bunkbed info. The age issue, didn't occur to me (think Peppa Pig has been lying to me!). We are thinking of moving - hopefully - over the next two years, so maybe can cope with sharing until then. I don't think either sharing or DD having the room is a long term option, TBH.

Surely it makes sense for you to have it as your room? Large windows, fireplace... sounds nice. Then no noise disturbance for the kids.

Then they can either have a room each, or you coud you put your DCs in your old room in non-bunk beds, and turn the smallest room into a proper office/music room?

Depending on how tidy you are, maybe get one of those 'desks in a cupboard' if you know what I mean.

Yeees that sounds doable ATYD. But is a strange (and annoying) house because mine and DH's room is massive (and also rather lovely) and fits our king size bed rather well. , which the 'spare' room wouldn't. Not sure if I want to sleep downstairs either, to be really picky.

BUT our large room would be perfect for two DCs, they could pretty much put a curtain across and make it into two normal-sized rooms...

Yes, you should have the downstairs room.

I live in Australia where almost all of the houses are single story (not mine though) and bedrooms off open plan living rooms abound.

I was astonished at first when I went to people's houses and they were scooping their baby up for it's nap and popping it in it's room three feet away from where we were sitting.

My boys have been in bunkbeds since they turned 4 and 2 respectively. They love it. DS1 has never fallen out of the top bunk and at 4 1/2 he happily gets up for a wee in the night.

It works really well for us, which is just as well as we have a three bed house and we're expecting twins - they'll be sharing too!

DD1 moved into our downstairs bedroom when she was about 12 but recently she decided that she was 'creeped out' and moved in with DD3. I never did feel 100% comfortable with her sleeping downstairs on her own.