10 year old wearing make-up too regularly

[Donbon]

Help! What started out as a cute joke about a year ago, with make-up kits for birthday and then Christmas, is now, I think, getting out of hand. My 10 year old (year 6) now prefers to put on make-up (and is not bad at it sometimes) during much of the weekend and even after school. She announced recently that the best thing about going to secondary school next year will be "being able to wear make up every day". I'm not not so sure (especially after watching the end of the TV programme Beauty and the Beast last week about the young lady who is addicted to wearing make up). My daughter is beautiful, obviously has wonderful, youthful skin and I've tried to tell her that she doesn't need it. I will demand that she washes it off when she gets it wrong and looks like a vamp. But I'm also conscious that times change and what was 'normal' when I was growing up in the 70s/80s is now different. Most of her friends wear make-up and perhaps that's how it is? But I'm now close to confiscating her (huge) collection and insisting that she just wears it for parties or similar. How can I make this change (since make-up wearing already seems the norm) without her turning into Kevin(a) the teenager?

I think you need to decide how much make-up is acceptable, and make that the rule eg. she's allowed a little bit of eyeshadow and a pale lipstick/gloss, but no mascara (for example). You already have rules in place (no make-up at school) so you need to have a clear plan of when and where and how much she is allowed to wear it, and then just stick to that plan.

You don't really need to justify your decision or second-guess yourself about what is 'normal' for today. Just go with your instincts about what looks acceptable to you.

(For what it's worth, I agree with you that it's a shame that young girls want to do this. I also hate the whole dressing up in heels, loads of jewellery etc that even youngsters seem to be into, but then I am - and always have been - a bit rubbish at dressing up and being girly )

Are her make up sets thoses cheap liitle ones? If so, prehaps see if she would get rid of them, explain that they are cheap and don't look nice, and say you'll buy her a nice make of lipgloss or mascara. Explain that less make up is more and maybe show her pictures of celebrities that sport the 'bare' make up look. Maybe ask a lady a boots to sit with your daughter and help her choose a nice lipgloss that will suit her skin colour etc, so your daughter feels valued and older.

My mum always used to tell me that when I only wore lipstick it looked like I had more make up on, so again, try and explain that less is more.

You may be able to prolong her wearing make up for a bit but eventually she will, so you may just want to teach her now how to apply it nicely and what makes are affordable and not cheap looking, so when she does wear make up she doesnt look like a tart or have a orange face or foundation line etc.

Bloody hell, I've this to look forward to. This morning DD (9.10) came downstairs with a face like a clown. Someone got her a Claires make up kit a year ago and I thought I'd thrown it away.
I explained that putting every single colour eye shadow on was not a good thing, nor was spitting in one and making mascar the colour of the bit up there (add your message here). She had cheeks so red she looked as if she had diptheria.
I've promised to get her a pale pink lippy soon (non specific date set).

My dds are 16 and 13 now. DD1 wears make up and dd2 has just started wearing a bit of mascara.

When they wear ten they were allowed make up if playing dressing up but no way would I have let them out of the house wearing anything other than a bit of pale pink nail varnish or some lip balm.

It is really not the norm for ten year olds to be wearing make up imho / ime.

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I teach at a secondary school and tbh I never see y7s in makeup. They start trying to get away with a bit in y9.
I'd be pretty shocked to see an 11yo turn up in makeup - I'm confident my colleagues would too. Perhaps you need to disabuse her of this makeup at school notion before it becomes a problem.

If girls have bad skin and wear concealer to cover it there isn't usually an issue as long as they're not orange/stripey/make-up-lady-rendered-in-it.

I personally would not allow this and would take it all away

but I think you've allowed it already so have an issue

in many secondarys there's a no make-up rule which seems to be strictly enforced - in my boys school until at least year 9

I think that if you don't want her to wear it then you need to take it away from her and have a sit down chat with her about it. No good despairing but doing nothing.

I think it is inappropriate for a child of that age to be wearing so much/any make up outside of the house.

I have to agree with Activate.

Ten is IMO far too young to wear make up at all and I'd be simply making it a rule that she doesn't wear makeup outside the house. If she wants to experiment in her room, fine, but there's no way I'd allow a 10 year old girl of mine to wear it.

I'd let her wear it in the house and at parties etc, but have a no school rule, for as long as you can. Mind you, thinking back to when I was at school, I always LOVED make-up and sneaked it on wherever and whenever I could. The upside is that I have continued to take grooming seriously into adulthood, and always make sure I am neat and made-up...I'm not a great looker, but I make the most of what I've got, as my grandma would have said!

My daughter turns 12 this week, and this has been an ongoing battle here too. Unfortunately, peer pressure has a lot to answer for here. We have compromised that she is allowed to wear it at weekends, and if I see her wearing it during the week, it gets confiscated. I'm also talked about less is more, and how young girls are massively beautiful without make up.

Yup, agree with other posters - 10 is far too early. My oldest dd is nearly 10 and there is no way I would allow her to wear make up out.

Bite the bullet and take it all away for now. She'll probably have a tantrum over it but you'll be doing the right thing.

In a couple of years time, you could introduce a little bit, maybe a bit of lipgloss.