Another meal in the bin...

[ICanPluck]

It isn't my cooking, it really isn't, I am quite an accomplished cook if I do say so myself but DD (a week shy of 20 months) will most times point blank refuse anything I offer to her, especially if she has to feed herself.

She looks at it, pulls a face and makes a noise like she has a sour sweet in her mouth and then goes on to throw a hissy fit and chuck anything within reach onto the floor.

The latest victim being the american pancakes I have just made her. She 'helped' me to make them, it looked promising, but as soon as she was in her high chair - sour face. I'm so sick of wasting perfectly good food. It's not even like I can munch her leftovers because I'm on a diet! She used to scoff anything put in front of her, whether she had to feed herself or not. These days I have to feed her myself and jump through fecking hoops keeping her entertained enough to not lose interest and want to run off.

Has anybody got any tips, please? I'm really starting to lose patience :(

Relax.

She was probably just not hungry. Babies don't eat when not hungry, unlike adults. Don't turn it into a power struggle - she will win.

I found the easiest thing to do was offer 'plain food' chopped egg, pieces of chicken, plain veg, fruit. Starchy treats such as banana bread, plain biscuits etc.

Also consider what she has eaten over the space of a week rather than a day.

Remain calm at all costs. She is still young enough to have a bit of help with feeding herself if she needs it.

Don't spend ages cooking. Just make simple things that can be made in bulk, and frozen in very small portions.

Offer a small portion, allow about 15 minutes per meal, offer help.

If she doesn't eat, remove food, let her get down, don't get upset.

Do not offer any snacks apart from a piece of fruit.

Repeat at the next meal.

Mine had about 5 meals a day at that age - they only have little tummies.

Be persistant and consistant.

It isn't about the food, it is about control.

Please don't do what my friend did, constantly following her dd round with food, proclaiming loudly to anyone who would listen that her dd "wouldn't eat". Her dd now has a serious obesity problem.

If she doesn't eat her tea then just give her some yogurt and/or banana to fill her up. If she doesn't touch that give her some warm milk before bed and a bit of bread and butter.

I had the same issue with my ds1 when he wa a similar age.
I called my hv, she came round to have a chat about it and told me to keep a food diary for him, anything at all that he ate or drank was to be written down, and the reviewed at the end of each week.
I was suprised at how much he was actually eating!
They do only have tiny bellies at that age.
I started to relax about it, and remind myself that he wasn't going to die of he skipped a few meals, and once I started relaxing, so did he.

I'd start by giving warnings as to when dinner will be ready, so call out "dinner in 5 mins, time to start tidying up" or something, then "dinner in 1 min, sit at the table" (both my ds's were out of high chair by 18 months. I bought a little activity table from ELC for them to eat at.
Then, just put a small amount on the plate, maybe 2/3 tablespoons worth, this way it isn't overwhelming and gives her a reachable goal.

I don't force mine to stay at the table for any period of time, if they get down, that's fine, I tell them it's dinner time and that I'd like them to sit at the table but if they don't want it, they get ignored until meal time is over.

This phase will pass though, so try not to worry

Thanks for the replies I do need to relax. I try my best not to get annoyed, and I never let her see that I am annoyed, I'm just inwardly seething I don't force the food on her, she often helps me make it (loves helping to do anything at the minute) so she knows that it is coming, but when it comes to eating it's another story. If she really isn't interested, I let her down and leave it within reach so she can pick at it if she wants to.. usually doesn't.

Food diary sounds good, might give that a go just for my own satisfaction. She's not starving though, that is plain to see As does the batch cooking, never really done that as I have to cook most of my meals from scratch/fresh.

Thanks for the advice :) relaxes

Don't cook separate food for her - just give her a bit of whatever you are having - that way you don't waste meals and she is more likely to want to be like you and eat what you eat.

And don't make a fuss (that is the hardest bit !).

My ds's eat whatever I'm eating. I cook up the weeks dinners on a sunday and freeze them as there ism't time to cook in the week.

It's a long shot - but do you an antibacterial spray cleaner on the tray of her high-chair? I believed the blurb "leaves no taint" and got a nasty surprise when I picked up some chopped apple I'd put on the clean tray for DD - it tasted foul and very bitter. This solved the mystery of why she would occasionally wince and spit out things she liked, when feeding herself finger-foods. The instructions say to spray, wipe and let dry - but after that I would also rinse thoroughly with hot water and wipe with paper towels.

My top tip is to not react. The more stressed you get the more she will reject the food. Just take it away after a while and don't make her something else instead, although I do think that it's a good idea to put new things on the same plate as something you know they like. Also choose a few things (say omelette, pasta and fishfingers for example) and give the same things each week so she gets used to seeing them. Eventually she will touch them then lick them and eventually try them. If you put different food on her plate everyday of every week she will never get used to anything as it will always be new. Once she is used to those things then start adding new one's.

They all go through this stage.

solooovely That's a great tip re the same things each week.