dealing with bickering without shouting/totally losing it

[fattybum]

I have two ds who are 2.6 and 4.9. They get on pretty well, but go through stages where they seem to be frequently bickering. Often this is over toys, and ds1 seems to love winding ds2 up anyway he can. The last couple of weeks I am finding it very hard to stay calm with all this and have ended up really shouting and on a couple of occasions swearing at them. I am not generally a swearer, and obviously don't want them picking up bad habits, but I feel close to exploding. I also smacked ds2 on the bum today because he just wouldn't stop screaming and screaming and screaming.

When they both come up to me crying, screaming, he did this, he took that etc how can I deal with it in a better way than flipping out? I only end up shouting because they won't stop the noise to actually hear what I am trying to say.

I am not one for punishing too much, was thinking of maybe just sitting down and totally ignoring them til they quieten down? Any ideas welcome!

yes ignore

unless there is blood on the carpet

they get a MASSIVE payout, attention-wise, from you when they start winding up, so find ways to give them attention in a positive way

It's exhausting, I know, but repeat after me, it's just a stage, this too shall pass

and have a large glass of wine later, yes?

I have this problem (and similar ages) and I usually freak out as well. If I am feeling calm and in a good mood then I will tell them that unless they place nice they won't be allowed to play together at all and a few times have had to carry it through and send them to opposite ends of the room. Most of the time though I shout and go nuts as I can't stand it so I'll be interested in the other replies you get!