Please help me MN - DS (4) bit a child at school...

[ASecretLemonadeDrinker]

DSis such a handful. He gets very angry, throws things from time to time, pulls angry faces, when being told off 'threatens' me back (I am going to take all your toys off you then/you're not coming to my birthday then) and a few times now I have been pulled into school. There is a group of the that are very boisterous - pulling eachother round by their hoods etc. DS must be the worst though, he threw a toy brio at a boy, has pushed him a few times and then today bit him (!!!) during a game of chase. The mum IS NOT happy :( DS often comes home and tells me X/Y/Z pushed him, I tell him pushing etc. is naughty and to tell the teacher. Anyway, the mum has gone in each time and I just don't know what to do with DS. Obviously been told off, we talked about it for awhile (seems it was a heated game of chasing/hide and seek). THe mum says her son became afraid of school and had just started to be OK with it again when this happened today. I just have no idea what to do. All I can think of that is going to actually have an impact is seeing if he can sit inside during playtim at least tomorrow, if not longer, if this child is now terrified of him. He is just so hyper sometimes, I would swear there was something wrong with him but he does have calm times and plays lovely and is the nicest most helpful boy (teachers words!) and then can obviously become 'the worst' (my words!) ... WWYD? I must be doing smething so so wrong for him to be this naughty ... :(

Deep breathe.... There is a lot of argy-bargy in the playground at school with the KS1 boys. My son comes home at least once a week with a letter about a bump on the head. There is always generally a fews boys that aremore rough than others. The "rough" boy in my DS1's class is actually a nice boy and he has a lovely mother so it might not be that you are actually doing anything wrong just that your DS quite hasn't got a grip on himself yet.

I think you need to go into school and discuss a plan of action with the teachers whether that means your son sitting inside for a while or keeping him apart from the other boy... I don't know. But the school will have dealt with this a thousand times before and so may well have some great ideas. Good luck!

He's only 4. Of course biting isn't good but he is still only 4.

As TryHarder says, work with the school and formulate some sort of plan for helping your ds learn what is and isn't appropriate at playtime. This may be easier to say than it is to do, but don't get drawn into conversations with the other mum. She's bound to be angry but the last thing you need is to be harangued by other parents. If she approaches you again, just say something like 'yes, I am working with ds's teacher to make sure he understands what's acceptable behaviour and what the consequences are for crossing those boundaries".

thankyou so much! DH talked to the dep. head - he is going to walk around with the playground supervisor today, not stay inside. Fingers crossed.