Does anyone else 'miss' their first-born terribly when baby no 2 arrives?

[narmada]

I have a DD of nearly 3 and a DS who is 20 weeks.

DS has some minor-ish (we hope) medical problems and I am now recovering from severe PND but the combination meant that as of January my lovely DD has had to go to nursery 4 days per week. I find the one (week) day I have both children together very challenging as my DS has issues feeding and sleeping while DD clamours for attention, poor thing.

But I miss my DD so much, feel terrible that she's been shunted off to nursery, and sad for her because she must feel pushed out by her brother.

Well, there, said it. Just wanted to vent really!

It's such a relief to know that other mums feel this way. I've taken ds1 out to the shops and to Costa this morning for lunch and its been fab. Ds2 stayed at home with dh so it was just me d my buddy. I feel so much better for having time alone with ds1.

Yes, I have been there - particularly what Pleasenap mentioning about trying to carry on as normal with DS1 and not doing a very good job with either of my DC so snapping at them both cos of tiredness, guilt. If I am honest, in the early days I did slightly resent DS2 aswell for coming between me and DS1 iyswim (even though clearly we chose it that way)

The plan had been for DS1 to drop his nursery from 4 days a week to 3 days a week when I was on maternity leave but it was such hard work being at home with both of them (DS1 was a very energetic toddler!) that I decided to leave him at 4 days and most days it was a relief to drop him off there and just have the baby to look after - then of course, the guilt I felt about being glad that DS1 was at nursery (if that makes sense).

Anyway, DS1 is now 4.8 and DS2 is 2.4 and they absolutely adore each other and I am so glad that I gave them that. They share a bedroom, they play together (although not always nicely ), when you ask DS1 what he dreamed of in the morning, he always says 'playing with DS2', school say that he is always talking about him....and to see DS2's face light up whenever he sees DS1 and he does an excited little dance...it is so sweet.

Sorry that was a bit gushy but I hope that it shows light at the end of the tunnel...I had such a hard time in the early days (posted several times for advice on here) so I totally understand