what type of school will/do your children go to?

[mollysmum82]

I was wondering if anyone would be willing to share with me the type of school you decided to send your children to and why? My daughter is only 18 months old but with waiting lists the length they are and the possibility of having to move house we need to think fast!

Our options at the moment are our local primary school, our local Catholic school or perhaps moving house or attending an independent prep school. I'm not from the City we live in so I don't know it all that well. Apparently we live in what's described as a "nice estate but in a rough area". Most of the lovely friends I have met at mother and baby groups are moving because they don't rate our local primary school. The Ofsted report says the school is good at what it does, which is help the pupils with special needs, english as a second language and of lower ability (all their words not mine). The reports also say the school isn't as good at challenging the higher ability pupils. Now obviously at this stage we have no real idea of the kind of ability our daughter is going to be. DH and I are fairly bright (although you wouldn't always guess it!), DD has good vocabulary and is really into books but I wouldn't want to be pretentious or assuming. However the reports and my friends moving has concerned me a little.

I spoke to DH's dad who used to be a Head Teacher and he said if DD does turn out to be bright it might be better for her to attend a school like this as she would be "a big fish in a small pond and get lots of attention from the teachers". Okay he IS a bit pretentious! But if this ends up being the case I don't want her to be bullied for being clever or different.

Our other option is our local Catholic school which to be honest is my favourite choice - I recently became a Catholic and I would love DD to be brought up in the Catholic Faith. The ofsted reports for this school are really good and people in the area speak highly of it. The problem is DH has no belief at all and is uncomfortable with the idea of religious views being pushed on our daughter (which I can understand).

The other option is to move house. There's an area a few miles a way where pretty much all of the schools have outstanding ofsted reports...but house prices to match. This would be DH's favourite option but I worry that we would really struggle financially if we moved to this area. I have also heard rumours that its a bit on the snobby and competitive side.

The last option is independent. I like the idea of small class sizes but again the financial side would be really tough. DH would probably have to work longer hours and I would have to work full time, which to be honest at the moment I wouldn't really want to do. Plus if we had a second child we could no way afford to send two. I went to a large, all girls independent myself and hated it. I enjoyed the academic challenge and am so grateful to my parents for giving me the opportunity to go but I just didn't fit in with the other girls. You had to have the right bag, the right hair cut and the designer clothes to fit in...and since I'd got an assisted place at the school we just couldn't afford those things which meant I was bullied. However I wouldn't want to tar all independent schools with this brush and I have taught in some lovely, warm independent schools.

For primary school I just want DD to be happy. I'd like her have some challenge but not be pushed to hard. I want her to fit in and have friends but not get in with the wrong gang. I guess everyone wants these things?

I know this is a sensitive area for a lot of people and I hope you don't think I sound snobby or pretentious. I would just love to know other people's experiences and views. Many thanks

*too hard. (see, not always bright!) :)

Have you visited the local school? The ofsted and reality are often very different. See for yourself. I remember meeting one mother who rejected a fantastic locsl school on the basis of an old ofsted report. She never even visited. My friend sent her kids there and loves it.

Reup, no I haven't yet. I should really though shouldn't I? Can you ring primary schools and just ask to visit? I'm such a novice!

Yes some have specific days, some are more varied. Although the might think you are a little premature as she's not yet 2. Does it have a nursery class?

Also check the criteria for entry for the catholic school. They really vary.

18 months old and "has good vocabulary"?

OK. Don't go telling this to people at the school, will you? You won't make friends for you or your DD. If her talking is good then people will see it for themselves.

Have a look round the local schools and get a feel for them. In my experience children are happiest when they are familiar with places and faces, ie their own community. Her friends will be from off the same estate etc.

Where do your mates' children go? Ask the opinions of your wisest friends.

Don't get too excited about Ofsted and league tables. They are about the school, rather than your child.

My DCs went to the local primary (it was in Special Measures at lot but my DCs did well there - both left with Level 5s).

Now both at local secondary. Some people think it's a borstal, but again my DCs are doing great. DS is doing his GCSEs and his early tests are coming back with great grades.

It is about your child. Not the school.

i second looking around the schools. I moved into an area and had to apply for schoolplaces for reception before i even had an address to move to so I didn't get chance to look around and applied for places going off ofsted reports. DS got in my first choice which had an outstanding ofsted. I have recently moved again (for the last time hopefully) and this time i had chance to look around the local schools. I had a choice of an ofsted grade 2 (good) and a grade 3 (satisfactory). I chose the grade 3 because it seemed more suited to my child and seemed a more friendly school than the other. I now think that this current school is actually a better school than the outstanding one we left (especially for DS). So ofsteds can be misleading.

I know a couple who said (pre-children) that their children would never go to a fee- paying school or a religious school. Guess where they are sending their daughters? To a catholic all-girls' fee-paying school. They visited the school and loved it.

It's really important to look at the school - ofsted is not everything you will get a feel for the school.

Mine went to the local state infants: not particularly high in the Ofsteds, but a lovely school that really encouraged a love of learning and was closely linked to the local community.

Then to local state junior's - good with some outstanding features, results were good for the area. Found out later they were not good with SN. Which I never once imagined would be of any relevance to my children. In the event they were both diagnosed with a chronic condition which had an enormous influence on their school work. And suddenly SN support was all that really mattered. With hindsight, I would never send my children to a school that did not have a good record for pastoral- you just don't know what might happen.

Dd now attends lovely supportive state secondary (good with some outstanding features according to Ofsted), but is school refusing due to trauma from junior school. Secondary is doing all they can to pick up the pieces.

So with hindsight, the fact that dd was gifted (which was apparent from an early age- though not quite as early as 18 months turned out to be far less important than something we couldn't possibly have foreseen, that she would also need good pastoral support.

The type of school is far less important than the actual school iyswim.

Getting your knickers in a twist about what sector you wish to select is a total waste of time.

Go and look at the schools with an open mind.
And try not to make assumptions about your child. Until your child is near school age you can only guess what her needs may be and what environment will suit her. Any one of a number of factors could come into play.

I would have a look at the local school and see for yourself.
I will be sending mine to local state primaries, as they seem to be fine. we have some good or outstanding ones locally, but the one which is highest locally on the ofsted and has a good reputation i am less keen to send my dc there as it also is said to be very undiverse and i have noticed that mothers from that school tend to be quite stuck up, im much happier with a mixed and accepting school environment even if that happens to be one level less down on the ofsted. There are some schools that are not level 1 ofsted but if you go and see the staff and the school it will be lovely, so wouldn't say ofsted is everything

State schools don't usually have a waiting list for reception. This is often a misconception. It doesn't matter what list you put your child's name on at a school it won't make any difference to whether she gets a place. You have to fill in the form in the autumn, the year before your dd is due to start school, and places are then allocated to the children on distance to school. Those closest or with siblings will get priority places.

Always said nearest, smallest, state, non-religious (pref? not sure)
then would do my damnedest to work with harass the school

they (well, one so far) go to
nearest, smallest, state,non-religious school. is lovely. Am making my feelings known but picking my battles...

Personally, pastoral support, caring atmos etc is most important to me. Dh and i both passionately inclusive state teachers and really can't imagine sending kids private, or moving for schools, even if we could afford to. Obv never say never as like Cory said, sometimes things change. But agree that you need to see individual schools and get a feel.

And what BunnyWunny said.

Think Cory's point is very good - you just don't know what's going to happen. We're lucky - there's really just one school in the area, and it's fab, so we've ducked a dilemma.

I would visit the schools you are interested in, although probably not yet. I chose ds's on gut instinct. I liked two schools - one state and one independent. Very equally matched. Chose the one that provided wraparound care as that was important to me. Interestingly my least favourites were an Ofsted outstanding state with small classes and the local independent that many aspire to have their dcs attend.

Check out the catchment areas of the state schools - you may not even live in the one for the catholic schools, many have tiny catchments. Also is your DD baptised a catholic, that is a requirement in general?

It doesn't sound like you can afford to privately educate two children, do you want more children if so then you have to go state forget about private. Then choose whether the local state schools are good enough or whether you need to move.

Not too early to worry. If you were thinking private, many of the schools will have filled their reception classes in some areas and have waiting lists. If you need to move that can take over a year in the current market, sensible to think about it.

Local state school that had the better (somewhat) Ofsted report than the other school in town. I wanted to live in town not in the country, and a low commuting distance for DH.

So basically other considerations about where to live came into it, life is not just about where the kids go to school.

My DD goes to an independent girl's prep school and will probably go onto an independent secondary school.

DH and I went to state schools. We both did fine in the state system and DH in particular is doing very well in his chosen career (law).

DH and I visited two local state schools and four local independent schools before making our decision. We made our decision based on many factors including convenience for ourselves, as well as class sizes, etc. We are very happy with our chosen decision.

i visited loads of primary schools as our area has notoriously bad schools with LOTS of ESOL children and many in special measures. considered private (dreaming!) and moving. eventually stayed where we are for the diversity and friendliness and lack of pretention, also practical issues like commuting distance and good support network of friends to share school runs and after school care. went to nearest school which had recently come out of special measurs with a new head- it is now rated 'good' 2 years on. i feel it is really important for the kids to be schooled within their community- i think that teaches them really important lessons and makes them feel very grounded. you may want to move so that you are in a different community- i think what tells you whether you should is - you need to be in a community where YOU feel comfortable and happy and you are not just there for the good schools. if thats the only reason, then its just a location not a community.
be wary of ofsteds- they can change very rapidly. my friend had the opposite experience- her 'good' school is now in special measures within 2 years

Thanks so much everyone, you've given me loads of useful advice! I knew you would.

I'll go and discuss this with my 18 month old - maybe she can write a list of pros and cons for me