Another suitable punishment thread - ripped books

[messybessie]

DS is five. I've been tidying his room and found the BFG completely ripped to shreds at the back of his wardrobe.

It was an old paperback copy I bought at a charity shop and the pages were starting to come loose. However, these pages are screwed up and ripped into pieces. I have no idea when DS did this but was probably quite recent.

He has had chicken pox over the last week and so has been prone to irrational behaviour (well, stroppiness). On Tuesday, he didn't wake up until midday and then struggled to get to sleep, despite piriton, nurofen etc. I'm pretty sure it must have been then.

He knows I am very particular about books.

What do I do? I am inclined to just throw it away and not mention it as he has been ill but on the otherhand I don't want to overlook willful damage.

Perhaps he hates it?

I think that sometimes, when you haven't seen them doing it, turning a blind eye is best (easiest??). He did something very naughty & silly, but obviously as he hid it, he knows it was wrong to do it.

If I did anything at all it would be to show him that I'd found it, tell him I was very disappointed with him and say that we wont be buying anymore books until he is sure he can look after them.

TBH - had it been a 'good' book I'd have gone ape shit!! and really it shouldn't matter as the behaviour is the same either way...

I'm leaning to that view, although I have a particular hatred of book destruction. The BFG ffs! It's sacrilege!

Piriton does make him irritable I could put it down to diminished responsbility - but he did a thorough job on it!

I'd ignore this particular situation - but look for a chance soon to reinforce the message about treating books well (perhaps when reading a tatty paperback that's seen better days). He may confide in you, or just quietly take on board what you are saying.

I'd ignore it. I don't think anything good can come of you pointing it out, and because it was hidden in a wardrobe, presumably he knows it was wrong and regrets it.

I would ask him if he had seen the bfg book anywhere.

My son ripped somepages from a book at nursery a while ago, when he was 3 or 4 i think. I was also v. unimpressed as i am also particular about books.

As a punishment i got him to take the money out of his moneybox (he was vunhappy about this), then we bought a replacement and gave taht to the nursery.

He has never done similar since! I think teh money thing really struck it home.

Personally i wouldnt ignore it, he obviously knows it was wrong as he had hidden it. I wouldnt go mad but i would make him 'buy' a new copy...im assuming he has some kind of moneybox.

Maybe as neverforget suggests, the story scared him (or scary pictures). If so, he might have ripped it deliberately to get rid of it and hidden it where he couldn't see it.

Maybe. We started to read it about 6 months ago but he didn't really like it so we stopped.

We've just finished Charlie and CF which he enjoyed much more.

Maybe he thought he'd get rid of it before I decided to try it again .

In that case, making him by a new copy may not be such a great idea.

My DS2 (nearly 5) recently ripped his favourite book badly. I found it and asked who had done it (obvious). I said how disappointed I was that such a lovely book had been ruined and it was a great shame we wouldn't have it to read again. DS2 then said we could always get another one. Oh no we can't ;).

He then sobbed at bedtime the two nights following as he wanted his book and it wasn't there, saying he was really sorry he had done it.

Since then he has actually talked about treating books properly. I can only hope it will last.

Perhaps he found the illustrations disturbing (and felt the need to destroy them). I still have one or two books where I find the cover illustration really disturbing. I hide them away at the back of the bookcase, but I can still feel them lurking there.

I asked him. He did it when a friend came to play on tues. I called in to friend's house on way home and the 4 of us discussed it :o

Apparently friend's baby sister had ripped a book earlier in the week and they had discussed how if books get ripped you can't read them ever again.

DS had told friend that he didn't like the BFG and didn't want to read it ever again and she had a bright idea!

I think they thought that they had been very clever in solving a problem.

Can't fault their logic .

Well quite.

Bless :)

That's really sweet that she found a solution for him ... potential DIL??

She is a sweetheart. But no DS will obviously want to live with me until he's at least 45 :o