Or maybe this should be in Relationships

[PrettyCandles]

If you're a FTM and do not go out to work, should you have a proper cooked meal ready for dh/dp when he comes home? Ditto if you're a FTD and dw/dp goes out to work.

What about other housework?

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LBSS don't

No, not necessarily. You're at home to parent the kids, not be a skivvy or chef. My DH was a SAHD who always had a meal cooked b/c he likes cooking. He still stays home days w/DD and if I leave a list of chores he'll do them, but we do our fair share of housework the both of us.

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I feel it is part of my job to make sure a cooked meal is ready, if working then no way. Housework is a different story, he never notices what I do anyway so I'm pretty slack at that.

If he were buying a nursery to look after his kids he wouldn't expect them to come clean his house, wash his clothes and cook him tea as well.

Yeh, that's exactly what we do. At the weekend he'll do his bit, and if he doesn't then I'll have a right moan at him, it's just not worth his while not to.

Sometimes it's a pleasure to make sure that there is a nice meal for dh to come home to, but it's not that easy to get done with the children around, and I get bored with one-pot meals that can be prepared in minimum time and then left to cook.

And as for housekeeping - I'm utterly useless! I can do it, but it's sooooo booooring and pointless. Yet dh is tidy and organised, and I feel guilty when he spends part of his evening or weekend doing laundry, or hoovering or whatever.

I really can't justify not doing much housework in terms of childcare. It's perfectly reasonable to do both at the same time.

I do the day to day housework and cook meals for myself and the children. I don't have a meal waiting for DH when he gets in as a) he eats out a lot, b) he is bloody fussy and c) if I had to take him into account I would never leave the kitchen.

On the weekends between us we share jobs like cleaning the oven/fridge and decorating etc.

I am a SAHM and I don't have a meal ready for DP when he comes in, in fact quite often he cooks while I BF DS to sleep...! But I would love to have dinner on the table - I mean how nice is it to come home to a meal when you've been out all day? But DS is such high maintenance that I can barely make myself a sandwich for lunch, let alone cook tea! Just can't seem to get it together yet and DS is 6mths...

I cook in the week & DH cooks on the weekends. He would cook in the week, but he can't get started early enough; the kids would go into meltdown if they had to wait for him to prepare tea.

I have a meal on the table, for the family, at 6:30. If DH makes it for then, he eats with us. If not, he reheats whatever we leave for him.

i do most housework but ds helps if i get overwhelmed. i think he has done the washing once in three years, washes up once or twice a week on average. he usually cooks cos he loves it and i hate it. i do feel i ought to do the housework cos im here and washing doesnt take that long really. the kids usually eat before he gets home, so i cook for them and he cooks for us later

dp helps. sorry, third glass of wine

i don't think that you should have one ready... but i think it's nice!

i LOVE it on a sunday when i get in from work and dp has a nice cup of tea and a snack ready for me.

we share the housework... but i do more than he does because he works.
there is the odd night when dp cooks after he gets in from work as well...
i don't mind cooking for him. i make less mess!

With both children I found the first 12-18m a real struggle, and dh did most of the housekeeping - even to the point of cooking our food ahead of time for me to reheat. After so long being looked after in this way, it's quite a shock to take it all on again!

Anyway, I feel better to know that I'm not the only one who would if she could but sometimes does and sometimes doesn't .

I wonder how the other halves feel aout it.

Ha, Ha! When I went back to work full-time and dp was at home full time with the kids (2 + 6 months) I used to joke that I'd enjoy coming home to tea on the table..! Reality is half the week all is bliss when I get home, with tea cooking and kids happy, but the other half I come home to "what shall we have for tea??!", or just HELL, with kids crying, dp at the end of her tether etc.!

But I think this is just how it should be (apart from the hell bit, obviously) - it gives me a chance to do something to help - i.e. cook tea sometimes, or sort the kids out. I still feel guilty that I'm out working - doing the easy bit - while dp has got the kids, so no, I DON'T seriously expect tea on the table etc.etc. when I get home - I love coming home to find the family in whatever state it's in, and then pitching in - makes me feel 100% part of family life!!

I generally do cook a meal but I quite enjoy it so that's why - if I can't be bothered we have somethink in the oven out of the freezer or takeaway and DH isn't bothered. I do tend to cook for us after DS has gone to bed at 7pm however - might be a different story if I was trying to cook with DS hanging off my leg!!!

Sometimes there is a meal ready sometimes theres not.
I always make sure theres something that he can throw together if I havent made something.
Other housework?
Mainly I do it, he takes the bin out a wednesday night and runs us to swimming lessons on a Sunday.
If I really nag he will have a quick tidy up and if I ask a couple of days in advance he will do the dishes.

I'm really lucky because dh LOVES to cook - it is his way of relaxing when he comes home from work. Hurrah! (I hate cooking!)

I do most of the other housework though.

as a sahm i try to do the dinner but i have a busy life most days ie after school clubs, appts etc, if i dont get it done in the morning it will usually be pot luck or takeaway

as for housework i do the majority but dh will help