Your children's age gaps...

[Dozeyland]

I am a mother of one (My 5month oldDD)
Happy relationship, and love being a mummy, We have both said we want a big family, and to have our children with nice age-gaps... not so smalland not so big.

What are your age gaps, and how did/do you find them?

And how about those of you who have children CLOSE together?

I have an 8 year old and a 5 month old.

I like that ds1 is at school so i get most of the day with just 1, looking at my friends with 2 or so under 5 it seems more relaxed.
DS1 is old enough not to get jealous and demanding and he is very involved with his brothers care

I have an 11yr old and a 2yr old. The large gap was purely circumstance. DD1 helps out alot, and like waitwhat said, she doesn't get jealous, she just accepts that babies need more physical care. Only drawback I would say is that DD1 doesn't have a similar aged sibling to talk/play with and when we go on outings it's difficult to find something that both the age groups will enjoy. Babies are a blessing whenever they arrive tho :)

We have 8 years between 2 DDs then 15 months later DS1 arrived then 13 months after that DS2. Great for the little ones as they are very close.Eldest can be the best big sis in the world now at 12 or totally disinterested depending on her mood! We are also starting to find it hard to pitch days out so that everyone has fun. Having had 3 in 28 months there have been hard times particularly at night when one or more are teething and when an illness sweeps through the family but on the positive side i haven't had to store toys or equipment they've just moved down to the next child. Youngest boys will probably always share a room unless we win the lottery or until DD1 leaves for university!

I have a 3yo, 20mo and 5wo Yes I think I am mad! But really I LOVE my age gaps so far (I may think differently when they're teens ) I only have to do 2 days a week drop off and pick up from nursery, I would hate to have to do a school run 5 days a week with a newborn. The older 2 are in bed early and all night. They're easy to entertain with toddler groups, park, sticker books, cuddles, snacks and tv etc. The older 2 entertain each other very well and the interests are similar/toys age appropriate for both etc. On holidays etc they will always have a friend too (or foe?!!)

It is hard, but surely is having any amount of children? And I like the fact we'll be out of them being completely dependent on us in one quick go. Oh and we won't have years of different nursery/school drop-offs, as they'll all attend same stage schooling for a lot of the time.

Or maybe I'm just looking on the bright side as I had 4 hours sleep last night after the 6 weeks groth spurt !!

i have 5 1/2 year old dd1 and 4 month old dd2. i echo what wait and noodles said. its great that i can have days with baby whilst oldest is at school. only had jealousy issues for about a month now have really helpful and lovely big sister. not having problems with days out yet but youngest is still so wee.
i dont have the patience for more than 1 pre-schooler at a time. also we dont have the finances for more than 1 in nursery at a time (i have to work)

There is a 29 month gap between my kids. It was a bit difficult at the start but I am glad now I did it as after the first few months life got much easier then when the youngest started walking they have become very close and even now at 4 and 6 are best mates and entertain each other for hours. Plus now the youngest is about to start school - DD started last year - and my life is all mine again for a large portion of the week.

A few friends have a 4 year plus age gap and I wouldn't have liked that personally as the baby/toddler/pre-school years are so all consuming it is nice to not have to completely do it over again when the eldest is already in school. Plus their kiddies just don't really play together.

17 months between my boys.

Yes it was hard at first! In face very hard, but once we got into a routine it became a lot easier.

I just had to get my ass in gear be more organised.

Plan an activity for older one while I BF little one, figure out the best bath time routine (separately I found easier than together and doing it in the afternoon after naps rather than rushing around after dinner before bed) getting a changing bag ready the night before ready to go out etc.

They are 23 months today and 6 months a week today. The little one is moving around more now and paying more of an interest in his brother and his brother adores trying to make him laugh etc.

I love this age gap but still think we'll leave about 2years between little one and next one. I think that is a good age gap.

I have 3.5 years between DS and then DT's - there's only 20 seconds between them

LOVE our gaps. But I do think you'll work with whatever works for your family

We wanted a smaller gap between 1&2 but it took us a long time to conceive and then we got DT's - so just proves you really can't plan these things

3.5 yrs was good in that we have had no jealousy - DS was at preschool. But I also suspect that was personality. Now the DT's are toddlers DS is at school so I can do groups with them without worrying about him, yet still benefit from their nap. Family activities I'm hoping they are just about close enough in age to be able to pitch for things that suit all.

We had 19 months, 2 years exactly, 2 years one week, and 15 years..

The 19 month gap was hard work. You have 2 babies to dress and feed and carry. We had 2 in nappies for years. The eldest wasn't old enough to be left with the baby for a second.

Not quite so bad with 2 years. DC1 aged 3.5 hated DC3 on sight and they didn't really get on until they left home.

Similarly DC2 never really got on with DC4 (4 years gap).

But the 5.5 year gap between DC1 & 4 was fantastic.

A lot of it is the personalities of the individual children, rather than the gaps.

my story is almost identical to spandangle except DD is 4.8 and DS is 11 weeks. works for us.

however, as boleyn says, you can't always plan these things....

Exactly 24 months.. A hard few months when baby started being awake more but really fab.. Wouldn't do it one bit differently.

I've got a 2.8 and a 14 months, so 17 months between those two and expecting another one when oldest will be 3.2 and 2nd 20 months i think, so quite similar gaps to previous poster mamasunshine

I think its nice to have them quite close and long term should make it easier as into similar activities and that kind of thing, and hopefully they will be able to be close and get on. I would say I didn't find it too hard with the 17 month gap, easier than expected although obviously if you're not having a great day, low on sleep etc you can feel stressed out at times but thats the case even with one child. I do agree like waitwhat said it must be more relaxing to have them spaced out so you are dealing with one at a time for part of the day but there's plus and minus to everything so just have to think what's going to suit you best.

22 month gap between DDs. I love it.

DD1 was too little to be too put out by DD2's arrival. The monotony of life with a small baby was eased by the craziness of life with a toddler.

Dozeyland - My DS is 6 months and I'm like you, considering when to start ttc no. 2! So I've found this thread really interesting to read through and I'm starting to think maybe it wouldn't be completely mad to start ttc this summer....ooh exciting times!!!

25 month gap between my 2 DDs. The first year I found really tough - breastfeeding whilst also potty training was a nightmare. When DD2 was born DD1 was still too young for playschool so I got very little time to focus on DD2.

But now they are 5 and 3 I love it, they play together really well, share a room out of choice but the age gap is such that DD1 still gets to 'mother' her little sister when she wants to (she insisted on putting DD2's plaster on today after a fall).

THanks for replies, nice to read! also how did you find it on your body/? (those of you having had them close together) and how did it affect your work?

Little Miss Snowshine Exciting times for you! I know, Me and DP was talking last night, for maybe TTC when DD is 1 in October? = june-ish baby....
Really don't know, I am on the mini-pill now so its when i choose to stop that and then see what happens (this happened with DD1 and we concieved really quick :O)

Another factor is, we don't have our own place at the moment, we're still waiting... so until that happens - i think we'll wait..

nt sure how it would affect my job either, im due to go back in august, and if i go back then a few months later - say im pregnant again - whatrights do they have??

in the long run - I really enjoy being with my DD (5mo next week) and i want to cherish her, make her feel special, not that having another baby/ies would make her be pushed out in any way at all. but i just really dont know how to get the good balance of having children close together (DP is catholic and from big family. i have always wantd a big family)

help!

Also...

I'm lucky to have a brilliant family network, so if i needed a hand or anything thats available.

We really want a big family, DP would love to TTC now! but i think its only fair to let DD have her time for a little while more until she has has a baby brother or sister! but we first off need our own place, and im not sure how we'd go about my working???

I currently have a PT job( due back in aug) but i am hopefully going to kickstart my hobby/future job as a freelance photographer enaling me to work from home/flexy hours.. ( you have to have a dream!!)

am i being silly?

24 months then 22 months.

Now 7, 9, 11 years - and they are FAB gaps! Was hard work when they were all under 5 though!

How di you find being pregnant whilst having the little ones?

My oldest was 16 months when I fell pregnant. I have family nearby so had plenty of help. Job-wise it was fine.

The thing I found hardest was picking up DD1 when I was pregnant. From when she was around 21 months I found I had to pretty much stop picking her up when we were out and about, running to car in rain etc, as she didn't understand that I couldn't carry her very far/keep picking her up. It was probably good for her to walk all the time by that age, but looking back I think she was very young. I know I was still carrying DD2 when she was that age (in fact she gets the occasional carry at 3...

my age gaps are 18 months and 20 minutes ! My twins are 18 months younger than DS1.

It was manic for the first few years - but now they are 8 and 9 is it fine - they all get on well and do the same sort of things - ready made friends.

Only downside is the cost of everything - all lumped together at the same time (eg school trips, club membership).

oops - I certainly killed that one ! Scared you all off with the thought of twins second time round ?!

12.5m between DS and DD. Best thing I ever did was have them close together. Funny thing was I EBF for 4.5m (no other fluids/dummies/solids) and worked out that I'd conceived DD when DS was 3.5m.

15 months between mine.

piece of cake.

Going from none to one is far harder than going from one to two, imo

22 months for me - no problem if organised! i started trying when dd was 10 months - but took 6 months to conceive - would recommend a 2 year gap - not less as i've seen others experience more 'sibling' problems when too close!