My baby is 7 days old today. She was wanted a lot but now that she is here I don't know what to do with myself, or her. I do love her and think she is gorgeous but i am just finding it so hard. When she is crying and not sleeping (every night) i do jut wonder why we ever did this. I really wanted a family, but didn't realise it would be this tough and now just really miss it being me and my partner on our own. I miss my independence of being able to leave the house and pop to the shops, go on a date, or to see a friend, I even miss going to work. I feel awful for feeling like this, I thought I would be able to pour all my love into her and would be so happy, but i just keep crying and wondering how long i can do this for. She does not like sleeping at night at all, daytime is fine, she sleeps a lot but i am up every night with her and the only way she will drift off is in my hands. I think it would help me if I were able to get her into a routine, but don't know when this is possible to start. I am not currently living in the UK, will move back when she is 4 months due to my partners job and the medical system here in Mexico is much different, no health visitors for support, just left to get on with it by yourself as soon as you leave hospital. The language and culture barrier also means that I know of no other mums, or mums groups. I know how lucky I am to have a healthy little girl, but I just feel totally overwhelmed and unable to do this.
I feel like i'm 7 days in and already a bad mum. Would love to hear if anyone else has felt like this and how long it lasts for and suggestions.
Thank you.