French or English Primary School - Pros & Cons and which would you choose?

[Ecole]

We are a trilingual family in London. DH is the french speaker and DD (3.9) had always refused to speak French until she started at a Bilingual French English nursery recently.

Since then, she has really flourished and to DH's joy, she has started speaking French and being proud of her nationality.

Our plan has always been to send her to the local community school this September, and that would be that.
However, a new French School is opening in our area and we are really torn about whether we should send DD there or not.

On the one hand we really wanted her to make local friends and go to the local school.
On the other hand, we feel she will lose the French language and culture if she does go to the local school. Moreover, we feel that the French education system (especially at primary level) suits DD - she likes strict parameters.

Our current plan is to to send her to the French School until 11/12, where we hope she will attend our local state secondary (which has an excellent reputation).
However, because she the French School doesn't accept children until Y1 age, DD will have to spend one year at the local primary before changing schools again.

Would all this change be too much for her? She'll have only been at her current nursery for two terms, then she'll go to school for a year, then change again.

Also, there is the fees situation to think about - only £2k a term, but it's all the holidays (half term tends to last for two weeks and Wednesday half days) where I would need to pay for childcare.

WWYD? Are we mad for considering the French School?
Sorry for long post ...

why would she lose her french if she went to her local school? Her dad doesnt speak french at home? what about dvds, books,french groups etc...?
The other solution would be to put her at the english school and Supplement this by doing some distnace learning programme in French (CNED) so her grammar and spelling is good enough... some people do this but usually it is because they plan to go back to France or because they dont trust the english system...
i think Obama's mum did the same she didnt trust hawaieducation system so she used to wake up barack superearly and make him do an american distance learning programme...

I am English and we live in Germany (dh is German). We have a bit the same situation but in mirror image.
Could your daughter not stay at the French English nursery for an extra year? - if the new French school is opening in your area, I could imagine your French-English nursery will be an important feeder. I could imagine then they might also fit in with the French system and cater for 4-5 year olds. This is how our nursery works: they care for 3-5/6 year olds together in a mixed age group. They have a good (for German standards!) ratio and so make sure to spend time concentrating on reading/writing and numbers with the older ones. I could imagine that the new French school will be expecting to take children who have been at home for an extra year - so being in a good nursery will be no disadvantage. I would not send her to the local primary and then move her personally. I would either stay in the English system or follow the French system. I would also contact the French school and ask them what they would recommend for you.
I must say on the question of losing her French, I know a lot of children here where the mother is German and the father is English and where the father works long hours. These children do not pick up English from their father! All the children around them speak German, their mum speaks German with them all the time. They understand the English but they do not speak it willingly. I would even go so far as to say that it's the other children that make the difference. Children want to fit in with their peers and I know so many adults who were brought up bilingual who remember how excruciatingly embarrassing they found it when their parents spoke to them in the "other language" - not the language of the other children.
I think if you want her to be happy speaking French, she has to have a group of children around her where some speak French...
Just my opinion.
My daughter goes to an English speaking nursery where there are mainly Germans but some other native English speaking kids and that has worked very well.

We have ds at a French english preschool and are hoping to get him into the bilingual school that continues the program. It seems unlikely we will get him in, as the school is so over subscribed and we are not francophone, but it seems like such a great opportunity.

tostaky - I'm sure DD will lose her French if she goes to the local school for the exact reasons outlined by Simic.
We're thinking about the French school, not because we don't trust the English system. And we're not that bothered about her reading and writing French at this stage.
It's just that we want her to be proud of her heritage, and to be able to speak to her relatives, cousins, etc. in France as they don't speak English.
DD could stay at her bilingual nursery for another year, though it's not a 'homologue', so she won't get priority. However, the fees are £10k a year (whether you use the hours or not, you have to pay from 8-6, 5 days) - I'm pregnant and not working at the moment, and it's unlikely that I'll be working for the next year and a half, which is why I'm reluctant to fork out.

tryingtoleave - are you in London?
If so, I imagine you're talking about the Lycee? There's a new school opening in Kentish Town which you might have better luck getting into

In that case, Ecole, could you just keep her at home for an extra year and do some sort of home-schooling?
Although I suppose you can only do that if you're pretty sure you'll get a place at the French school...? - and it depends on whether that would drive you mad - or if it's even legal in the UK?? (I'm not very aware of the situation in the UK).

I think I'd really talk to the French school - surely every child coming to their school will be facing the same issues??

Love the idea of homeschooling, but not sure I could do it with a newborn
I think we'll put it in the list of things to talk to the French school about - but most parents I know who have said they'll be sending their child to the French school have their child in local primary until they turn 5.
We were a bit unfortunate in that we only switched DD from a fantastic English speaking nursery to the bilingual nursery in January - just to boost her French before local primary. We didn't realise how much she would thrive in the French speaking environment.
In retrospect, we should have just kept her at english speaking nursery (where she could have stayed until 5) and then made a transition to French school from there. But then, we didn't know we'd want DD to go to French school until we saw what a difference the bilingual nursery made to her!!
Aaarrrgghhh!!

No, I'm in Canberra - so it would be quite a commute. The bilingual school here is a state school, which is why it is such an attractive option for so many people.

at myself for being so London-centric

No, that is ok. I would presume that most posters are from the uk and I imagine there aren't huge amounts of french schools there.

hello
I think its a difficult choice to make. As you say your child will lose the french if you stop the biligual education. They just adapt to the environment/language they're in. But then think about the commitments long term. The system is very strictly academic and, depending on teachers, can be very old fashioned and french-centric ( think learning mostly french geography for most of the primary, etc...). There are great teachers at the Lycee but also a share of typically french-civil-service narrowmindedness.( every other year according to my experience! )
And once they are on tracks, it's heartbreaking to change them at 11, especially if they thrive!
My 11yr old has been at the lycee since he was 5, I'm proud of his total bilingualism but often get into arguments with his english father who is often perplexed by the rigidity of the curriculum.... I don't blame him. Will prob do the same with our 6 months old one day because it's the only way to have true biligualism but there is always a price to pay! You have to make sure what your priority is. We regret lack of local friends and the fact that quite a lot of them move abroad at some point, but I think there's a fascinating side to bilingual children and you should be proud of their status and encourage it.... in few words, there is no perfect system, the main thing is the childs happiness... make it up as you go along!

hereshegoesagain - thanks for your reply. It's good to hear you listing pros and cons.
Since posting, we went to a Q&A session about the new school and we have decided to go for it, if we manage to get a place for our DD ... but that's another story.

Can I ask, did your DS already speak French before going to the Lycee? And what do you speak at home to your children and between yourself and your DH when your children are around? Just curious as my DD until now has refused to speak a word of French to DH and we suspect it's because DH and I speak to each other in English.

Well he understood French perfectly but never spoke a word of it to me, apart from a mish-mash or Franglais at the very beginning of his language development. He turned to English very quickly because I was back at work full time by the time he was 4 months old, his Dad was doing most of the childcare, etc... and my partner doesn't speak French but understands most of it. So we always had this 2 way conversation, me speaking in French, him replying in English.
The first couple of weeks at the Lycee he stopped talking altogether, shaking his head mostly to answer ( normal, the french nursery teachers told us , give it 3 weeks ). Sure enough he started replying to me in French in due time and has been bilingual ever since ( with some charming mistakes to this day! ).
I speak English to my partner, spoke French to my son ( and do the same to the baby now ) until his dual language was so well established that I just speak whatever comes first now, and often a mix. It's strange for others but you soon get used to it at home I find. And it's handy to have a spare language for private conversations in public sometimes ;)
I also always made great efforts to buy equal amounts of books in each language, and to keep holidays in both extended families an almost equal length of time for him. Hard work sometimes, but worth it. He tended to go more english some years, or more french, and we always tried to bring him back in the middle with books, games, etc in the "deficient" language of the time.
Now he's definitely labelled as "anglophone" at the Lycee but the heavy french curriculum is good to help with his grammar and spelling in French, which is less perfect than a 100% french child of course.
Hope this helps!

Oh, yes it does help!
It's so reassuring to know because my DD is exactly the same as your DS was, and we thought there was something wrong with her!
Just makes me want DD to go to the French Bilingual school even more now.

Like you and your partner, DH often speaks to me in French when DD is around, and I find myself replying in English. Not sure if this is the right thing to do, or whether to make an effort to reply in French, but then DD will pick up my bad French and my bad accent?

Now that your DS is fluent, do you still speak to your DH in French?

Oh no I never spoke to my partner in French, always in English, sorry if this was confusing.
But always, always in French to the child when on my own with him or even in a 3 way conversation sometimes ( no real rule here! )
Which makes it slightly strange as I found myself translating to the child in french sometimes to include him in the conversation by 2 different channels! So he would get the same content in both languages, for instance at dinner time, hoping he would make parallels. Hope this makes sense.
But when adressing the child directly I always spoke French, even though he never responded in my language until he was 5 years old.
It takes time getting used to, I would say in your case, it's up to your husband to always adress the child in French, even if he feels a little bit isolated, self conscious or silly doing so! It's about creating each your means of communication with the child. Same as you probably play different games, sing different songs....

Oh and your daughter will no doubt mock your accent.... my son keeps correcting my mistakes in English and can't stand it when his Dad tries to speak French! Each has to stick to their own languages in his mind.... otherwise we're soooo embarassing!

There are also moments when you feel rejected as the child tries to assert which "side" they are on. Like mine throwing his french passport on the floor in front of the border police at the Eurostar departure : " I'm not french! I want a passport like Daddy's, with a lion on!"
oh dear.
It's all worth it in the end.... :) and at the Lycee the curriculum moves year after year to become perfectly bilingual at GCSE level, so they can take either exams, should they wish to do so. Or choose the english section inside the Lycee. It means long hours ( pretty much everything is duplicated in both languages! ) but it's a great bagage to have I think..

Yes, DH is very good at speaking to DD in French at all times, but she still didn't speak until she went to her bilingual nursery.
And, we've had the "I'm not French, I'm English" tantrums too

Thanks a lot for answering all my Qs