Is 4 too young for school? Help.

[NewMumSue]

Hi everyone,

My dd is 4 in august then she starts school in september. I'm worried that she will be scared and too shy. Also she has only been toilet trained for 1yr and still has accidents (not often, mb once a month?) and has to rush to the toilet everytime when she needs to go because she waits too long. I'm concerned that she wont ask to go to the toilet and will have an accident in front of other children and that will knock her confidence? And i know how horrible other children can be.

Am i just worrying about nothing?

Thanks in advance for any replies.

You're certainly not the only person with those worries. YOu don't have to send her for Reception year anyway - in fact you don't have to send her at all if you don't want to.

Don't worry about her having an accident. When my daughter started in reception quite a few mum's told me that their children had wet themselves at school. The children don't take any notice at all - they barely notice and if they do they don't seem to think its anything worth mentioning!!

i think being in school helps them to learn to go to the toilet before its too late- so that they avoid the embarrassment. and because they see that most of the other kids dont wet themselves

Thanks for your replies, theres 1 other thing, at home when she goes for a num 2 she askes for me to wipe her. Do i teach her to wipe herself now?

Do teach her to wipe herself as they will probably leave her otherwsie, but you have a good long time for her to learn. My son is august born, started school september last, and he only potty trained around this time last year so she is well ahead of him on that front. I'm not going to lie to you it was a stressful term last term but he has adapted now and got lots of friends. And he had toilet accidents (and not wee accidents either) several times for the first few weeks - the other children didn't bat an eyelid, they are still so little at this stage. Good luck!

My DS was 4 at the end of July and started that September. He's never looked back but then he was ready to start school. He was asking me to teach him to read and write. Socially he was also more than able to hold his own and before I put him in school, I consulted with the nursery he was attending. Their attitude was that he was ready and that they would be pushed to keep him occupied/interested if he stayed another year with them. Accidents happened and the school dealt with it brilliantly.

Does your daughter attend nursery? have you asked them?

Everyone worries about this .

Chances are she will go and love it.

You are a Mum-worrying is in your job description .

All mine started at 4 full-time (normal in Calderdale) and two of them were late July babies. They were all fine socially (although one definitely not ready for formal learning until she was 7 !).

The loo is accessed directly from the classroom and the Reception class teachers are usually very good with little ones - wouldnt do it otherwise I dont think as the Early Years curriculum is a bit different isnt it? They even had a fenced off part of the playground they could stay in if they chose to where only Reception children were allowed.

I think as others have said that accidents are not uncommon and mine had to have spare clothes in their pump bags but they never got teased about it.

You will worry but Reception classes IME are not that much different from Nursery and the little ones are looked after.

My dd started reception at 4.

She had been at nursery for 15hours per week. She has always been on the shy side although she loved to play with other children. I worried about her managing to ask for the loo too. She never had a problem and has never mentioned any other child having an accident - obviously they will have done but not all kids are cruel!

You will get all choked up on the first day (I think all the parents do) but honestly I think it will be more of a positive experience than a negative one.

It's very different from when I was packed off to school and it was all desks and chairs and 'be silent' kind of business

Hi, thanks for the reassurance, Pleiades45 yes she does go to nursery for 3 hours a day 5 days a week and they don't mention that she has accidents so i take it she doesn't have them.

I will be teaching her how to wipe herself from now on to prepare her for school. I suppose i am just being a mum and worrying way too much.

Lots can happen between march and september, that's six months more development for your dd. Start teaching her to wipe etc, but don't fret about it.

DS is a mid-august birthday so started school when he was 4 and 3 weeks. He was fine. He was at nursery 5 long afternoons a week, and sometimes for full days when DH working away.

Foundation year is a nice cuddly year with lots of playing and getting used to being at school.

My DD is a winter baby. But I sympathise with you as, when DD started school last Sept, I was very aware of how much smaller some of the younger summer born children were. I guess all schools may be different, but at her school a lot of the summer born children were able to do half days if their parents preferred a half day (and most parents did opt for half days). But I gather that the vast majority of summer born children were soon asking to stay all day, as they were getting fed up of having to miss out on the afternoon play. And reception is mostly about playing, obviously learning too but the focus is so much on play.

Wouldn't worry about the accidents, especially if she doesn't have them at nursery.

Sorry - DD WAS a winter baby!