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If you're a SAHM having kids round, how much reciprocation do you expect from other parents?xpect

29 replies

Mo2 · 21/10/2005 16:30

DH & I both work full time
I have one afternoon when I finish early and pick DS up, but usually use that as 'my time with him' together.

DS is a popular little lad and is always getting invited to his friends houses after school.
One friend in particular has him every week and says she is happy to do so, as it keeps her son entertained.

But I often worry that if the tables were turned I'd be resentful that my children weren't being invited back?

Another friend of ours goes out of her way to ask to have DS over on inset days etc - again says that it's 'company' for her (only) child.
She won't take any money or anything, so I usually give her a nice bottle of wine or something.

I know it doesn't sound like much of a problem ('lucky me to have helpful friends'etc) but I reaklly don't want people to think we're taking them for granted - we're not, it's just we can't reciprocate in the same way.

We could have kids over at weekends, but to be honest I see that as the only precious time DH & I have alone with the kids as a family, so I'm keen to preserve it.

What do you think? Am I fretting over nothing? How would you feel if your were the Mums having DS all the time??

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Enid · 24/10/2005 11:01

god definitely have the others over at the weekend. Sorry but I would start thinking you were taking the p if you never invited them over. As others have said, can't you do a trip to the cinema or bowling - your treat?

I have to say I would do it on the afternoon I finish early too.

SueW · 24/10/2005 11:16

When I was SAHM I woulds happily have a friend for DD any evening -she's an only child - and wouldn't expect anyone to have her back in return - some mentioned it and I brushed it away.

It never happened but I think it would have been nice if I'd needed someone to be able to ring them and say 'I'm in a bit of a pickle this weekend, any chance you could have DD for a ocuple of hours?'. If I'd hit a stream of replies of 'No sorry Saturdays are our sacred family time' or even something that implied that - I think I would have felt a little less kindly towatrds them!

bigdonna · 28/10/2005 21:10

both my dd best friends parents work full time,i take one of her friends to a swimming lesson then back for tea and the other comes over every other week .friend no1 came on tuesday stayed tuesday night went home 6.00 wednesday friend no2 came today dropped off at 11 i took her home at 6.30pm.I dont mind having them ,most of the time you dont know they are there.My dd was supposed to stay at friend no 1 tonight but she is ill.so no i dont mind i also childmind and have her friends over too.Today i had 6 kids.

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Tortington · 28/10/2005 21:20

my ds phoned up to ask if he could stay at his friends house - hes 15. so to make sure he wasn't being a lying little shit i went to friends house to meet the mum. lovley lady she was said she was going to portsmouth the next day and my ds could go - so i ran to car and asked dh for some money - all the time she was saying no dont worry, you can do the same for me sometimes - errr no lady dont think do - idont do sleepovers - its like whipping yourself in the flange with glass.

remember if you invite kids over you shouldt expect as a metter of course for that to be reciprocated. you invited them. i dont want your kids - i dont like mine thanks very much!

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