yet more guilt!

[BlueCollie]

Just been watching 'Parents Under Pressure' and they are talking about bonding. I have struggled to bond with my 15month DS. He still doesn't feel like he is mine although I care for him like I would any baby. After watching this I realise I am probably creating a future woman hater with emotional attachment problems. I have just added to my already huge guilt. How can I bond with my child?

What you are describing sounds like post natal depression, that feeling of just going through the motions but not really feeling connected.

Maybe some counselling might help you? Also I would join lots of mums and babies type groups, baby swimming, music classes, baby massage etc. Have you got a sure start centre near by you could go to?

I am having CBT as I have PTSD. I also had to see a psychotherapist to see if I needed help with bonding but they didn't think I had a problem and that I was emotionally switched off from having shut down mentally from the birth. I have only recently stopped baby swimming classes as my DS just screams and he has been like that since last June so have given it a fair go but think he needs a break from it and so do I! I now go to playgroups but it's more of a relief to be able to let my DS go off and play and get some peace.
I will head up to the sure start centre this week. I really thought i would have bonded with him by now.

I have also been watching parents under pressure - I'm already feeling guilty and haven't had my child yet (35weeks pregnant). Feeling that I owe it to my children to stay at home as much as possible to ensure adequate brain development and balanced future psychological profile!
Was planning on putting child in full time childcare at 9 months...
Bluecollie don't feel guilty for having problems with bonding when you are clearly doing all the right things - seeing someone about your mood etc is probably sensible.

Oh God just watched the programme, you think you have problems..... my daughter has no contact with her father, now feel even mre rubbish about that than usual.

Oh well, I guess all we can do is damage limitation!!!

Op it does sound like you are doing the right things, I think from watching that programme its worth being mindful of your facial expressions and make sure even if you don't feel like it you do smile and try and enjoy your child. Don't be too hard on yourself being a parent is bloody hard wk!!!