How social are you after 2 or more dc?

[FreeDelivery]

Before kids I was a real social bee, burnt the candle both ends was often said of me...

After dc1 I was still quite social added with my PFB and the excitement of a new social circle life was full... Didn't hesitate to be the to host coffee's, barbies etc

Along came dc2 who is/ was a difficult baby (didnt sleep well & even now doest eat well) now toddler age 2 and over time I have become very anti social, dc2 is in nursery part time dc1 at school... I work for myself but have been hit with the credit crunch... So I do get a break!

Anyway it's Sunday we've been out already to soft play with dc's & dh but no other plans, just hanging at home, I could have invited friends over for lunch but couldn't be bothered!

Is this normal? Do i need a kick up the backside? Is it just us, or do other families always meet up with other families on weekends?

Thanks for reading my blether....

The only meeting up I do with other families at weekends is for birthday parties.

We've barely seen anyone since Christmas. A combined lack of time, money and baby-sitters. Most of all though, it's this time of year I think.

I'm hoping we'll be more sociable by Easter. It also makes it easier to have friends with children round if the children can be shoved outside. As they get bigger they take up so much room indoors!

we get together with a group of uni friends once a month for Sunday Lunch - very informal, if you can make it great otherwise see you next month. Keeps everyone in touch

difficult babies are very anti-social
dd1 was very placid and would be happy taken to restaurants, galleries and other people's house

dd2 is far less portable. plus her sleep is rubbish, so if i get any leisure time i want to spend it sleeping. so no, i am not meeting up with friends very often at all.

Ahhh kids birthday parties! Making small talk with other parents.... Sometimes interesting but mostly tiring! Dh and usually take turns now unless both dc have been invited

charlotteBronteSaurus yes I totally agree! Dc1 ate and slept well was very portable plus an early summer baby... Dc2 much the opposite, coffee with school mums after drop off is too stressful... So doesn't help with exposure!

Ime trey social during the week days but with other mum mates. Weekends it's mostly family but we do have days out with other families more often in summer tho We also go put in the evening individually with friends and as a couple. But Dcs are over 3 so we don't have many sleep issues these days. I'm happy with our social life.

Not very sociable. I want to be, in theory. I love my friends and miss them and wish I could keep up with people but...

The reality is that I want my day over by 7.30pm.

Completely over. Including all small talk and chitter chatter and anything that I can't do with my shoes off.

DS1 is 3 and DS2 is 1 and I have accepted it's not forever. I hope I'll be able to get back in touch with everyone once I'm able to crawl out of my housework/job/mummy hole, although I no the world doesn't stay still.

mostly too tired to go out in the evening with friends/ other couples etc
but in the day at weekends we have 3 other families who I love and feel really comfortable with and we will usually see at least 1 of those- the kind of friends who you dont mind coming round when you are still in your pyjamas, who wont mind if you feed them cheese sandwiches when you invite them round for lunch, and its ok to be in a grumpy mood. I start to feel a bit isolated and depressed without that contact. I wouldnt often invite anyone else round though

DDs are 2.5 and 9mths.

Weekdays are pretty busy and social.. swimming lessons, nursery, Ballet, toddler groups, meeting friends etc.
Evenings spent flopping on the sofa.

Weekends are generally family time and the chance to catch up on the odd jobs that I cant do with 2 kids at my ankles!
Weekend evenings...Flopping on the sofa again!

We actually did go out Saturday night to a party at a friends house but that is incredibly rare and shocked the life out of the hosts when we accepted thier invite!
Babysitting is an issue for us as no family nearby. Saturday was the first night out in about a yr and a half!

We dont generally meet up with other families at weekends unless its birthdays etc.

I have 2 dd's age 4 and nearly 2. Also pregnant with dc3 (only 8 weeks though but crushingly tired) I have a fabulous social life weekdays where we meet up with friends and their children. Weekends are spend chilling at home with dh, going to gymnastics, walks, swimming etc.

Evening time - I'm good for nothing. I like to quietly sit. Unless I'm in bed by 7.30pm asleep. I see plently of my friends with children but hardly ever see any of my still single friends. They are in work in the day and I can't muster the energy up to stand up from the sofa in the evening let alone, get dressed up and head off to a pub.

I guess it depends on how social you actually want to be FreeDelivery. Do you want to meet up with friends or just feel like you ought to?

If you want to but can't be bothered then yes you need a kick up the bum but if you are happy as you are then not at all, just enjoy chilling as a family on a weekend.

We have some close friends that live on the next street and we sometimes meet for dinner on a weekend evening (just the 4 adults), or during the day and maybe feed the kids and not always us so it doesn't have to be expensive.

My DS is only 14 m.o. but the impression I get from friends is that weekends are for 'family time' rather than socialising. A shame as I'd like to see people other than DH at the weekend a bit more.

Freedelivery we are just the same, after the two..I just kind of feel like I can't be bothered to try and fit in anything else of=r try and make any other arrangements...also am increasingly feeling like don't want to be places at set times...is stressful..also have ds2 (2 yrs) who is trickier and the first and has just started nursery. Do you feel like the extra time is making you think about it..like you should be or something. maybe just try and relax and enjoy some me time..I am trying to thing of free things as we too bit hit my money stuff x

sorry meant "or try and make"

Also, when you have a child who is quite demanding, do you find you just want to relax and not pay attention to people? Ifeel like that, like they are demanind (people in general) ha, maybe the nursery will help. And they are not toddlers forever (thank goodness)

My dds are nearly 10, 8 and 4. When they were younger we used to make weekend (daytime) arrangements quite a bit with other families. Children would play, adults chat etc, it used to work quite well. But now my older 2 are older, they're becoming more choosy who they spend their time with and tbh, they really prefer just family time just the 5 of us! Dds 1 and 2 are v close and what with busy weekdays - school, ballet, brownies etc....they really just want free time to play together at weekends. Their idea of heaven would be a do nothing at home day in their pjs!

So I've cut down on weekend arrangements because I think it's quite nice they want to do that and it will all change in a few years. Dh and I do go out quite a bit in the evening though - we get a babysitter and go out with friends or the cinema.

thanks for all your replies, I do feel like I ought to make more of an effort, so I do partly need a kick up the butt... with our friends its very much more talking about it rather than making the plans iykwim!!

anyway its just so hard with the 2 year old, hard to have adult conversation when he's there, I feel like a bit of a yo yo right now... he's such a clingy toddler too and lately won't do as I say.. but like you say its not forever! Our 4 year old is a dream in comparison so must cling onto that things will change...

Hi again yes my 5 year old is very chilled and the 2 year old 'such a presence' as dp describes it...just find the few hours he is away I just want to relax...maybe as they become less demanding you will have more headspace...? That's what I am thinking anyway...kwym I keep saying 'we must catch up..' trying to reassure that is not them is me! But also tried meeting people and feeling too strained to pay attention...nice swim much better...

Very rarely meet up with anyone at nights because
after the boys have gone to bed I just want my own space.Plus I usually have stuff to do that I didn't get done during the day.And I donlocevtp gp for a run some evenings.That is precious to me.
And as DH is only off on Sundays-plus every third Sat-we just want time for us as a family.we don't arrange to meet any friends, but that might change in the summer.

DO LOVE TO GO FOR A RUN

I've been a LP to 1 for 8 years, had a small house, so couldn't really invite people round for lunch and didn't have the money to go out.

Am now step mum to 4 kids, so 5 kids in all and to be honest, it takes enough energy feeding all 7 of us, without adding in a few more. Going out with all 5 kids and trying to have an adult conversation is virtually impossible so that doesn't appeal either.

Ironic that I now have the space to entertain and the money to go out, I don't have the inclination to do either!

I have 4 kids and work full time. I have no social life at all. Just can't be bothered. Have a couple of friends who I see around once a month during the day but other than that nothing. Unless you count my virtual friends on here. Much easier way to communicate with other Mums

I have 3 year old twins and an 8 monther.

I have always been social, and am far more since the DC. We meet up at least once a week with their friends from kindy/NCT/ my friends with DC their age.

DH and I also keep in touch most of our school and uni friends who live near us, so we see them often for weekday suppers and sunday lunches.

That said, we also have a Nanny which means I meet up with friends without the DC tagging along, which is fab. Without her this definitely wouldn't happen as much.

We live in a city centre though, which makes everything so much easier.

I was extremely sociable when I only had one. He had an arrangement twice a day without fail and it continued with #2. However, they're now 8 and 5 and I also have a 1 year old who has a terrible social life. He goes to nursery twice a week, a couple of toddler groups and that's about it. After work and running around after the 2 big ones the last thing I feel like doing is making more arrangements. At the weekend we tend to do stuff as a family although do see friends once or twice a month.

We are more sociable in the evenings though. I usually go out with girlfriends once in the week, out with DH once every 2 weeks during the week and we go out together or with friends every Saturday night. We have always used paid babysitters though.