Baby wont sleep unless held

[Chloejp91]

Hey,
My baby is 6 weeks old wednesday and is a really good baby! I love him to death. The problem I'm having though, is the fact that he refuses to sleep unless he's held. He never used to be like this but my OH won't put him down when he's sleeping, he insists on holding him, so that now has caused my son to become used to being held whilst sleeping.

Daytime naps he can sleep without being held, I usually put him in his moses basket or he falls asleep on him bouncer or swing. But when it comes to night time, he cannot go to sleep unless he's being held. The minute you put him down he's awake and cries, but as soon as you pick him up he sleeps. I am extremely exhausted as I do not get much sleep as I give in in holding him and therefore I can't sleep as I don't trust myself to co-sleep as I'm a heavy sleeper and wake up with the duvet over my head, so I definitely cannot risk him sleeping in my bed, so I'm left browsing the internet on my laptop to pass time.

It's upsetting me because my OH doesn't live with me as he's at University in Birmingham and I live in Hertfordshire, so he visits us whenever he can, and therefore doesn't have to deal with the long nights that I have to endure. I keep telling him to put Baby down when he's sleeping but he responds with "I don't see him often so I want to hold him" and because I'm so tired I don't want to argue about it even though it makes me so mad!

I haven't slept properly in 3 weeks and it's getting to me now as I can't function properly during the day. I too have university assignments and try to get them done when he's having a nap so napping whilst he's napping isn't an option for me right now. So frustrating, I've tried everything I can think of.

Sorry for going on, but has anyone got any suggestions? It would be very much appreciated!

I think it is quite normal for babies to be like this - they are programmed to want to be near their mums while they sleep for their own protection and safety...

I think 6 weeks is quite young to write him off as a problem sleeper.

Why not give co sleeping another try. Get rid of the duvet, use old fashioned sheets and a blanket and put your baby higher than you on the bed. Place a pillow next to your baby so if the sheet goes over his head, it will skim over his face rather than cover it directly.

six week old babies aren't designed to sleep on their own. It's a crazy industrial age western practice.

Just learn to co-sleep safely.

my ds and dd were the same and I think there is a difference between not going to sleep alone and not staying asleep i found that both did not like the cold bed, from my point of view its the staying asleep that it the big killer in terms of sleep, you could try a sleeping bag or wrapping in a blanket that you put in the bottom of the cot with him. That said 6 weeks is really little and so major sleep depreivation is the way it works, for the record I was not a fan of co sleeping as my dcs were both big vomiters.

We co-slept for the first six or seven weeks out of sheer necessity. It got us all at least a bit of sleep. Then we got to the point of gradually easing her into the Moses basket asleep and then from drowsy (though admittedly there were a few tears along the way). I agree that there's no real rush as babies really love being so close but if you're finding it an issue you really need your OH on board to support you. Another alternative on sleeping with the duvet near baby is to tuck it under you and stick baby in a gro-bag next to you . That worked for us

My DD used to be like this but is getting better now at 9 weeks. Try putting something in his Moses basket that smells of you, or what i find helps is while your holding him pat him gently on the back and shhh in his ear then when you put him down continue patting and shushing, this should stop him crying. if he starts crying again the pick him up then put him down again and just continue the pat/shush.

I am same with the above. DD only slept with us when very young, but when about 2 months old she would sleep by herself (fall asleep with me in bed and then transitioned into her crib). I think they still need to her your heart beat and smell you at 6 weeks, they are still getting used to living "outside". I am sorry you are so tired, but maybe if you can think "this is it, it is normal" maybe you can just drop everything else and just concentrate on baby and you for now. I know everybody says this but it is true. Time flies by and before you know it they are walking and don't have time for cuddles :(

I'm going to go the other way here.

He won't stay awake forever. With your input, he probably can learn to sleep without being held.

Before I'm flamed, I'm not advocating leaving him to cry.

At night, put him down. Pick him up if he cries. Put him down when he stops... it might make your nights harder for a few days, but it should begin to work. A bit like sleep training lite! Plus, it doesn't sound like you're getting much sleep as things are.

I did similar when dd1 was little, but I fully admit that needing to be held while sleeping was my fault.

My apologies if you've tried this already. You have my sympathy and empathy!

I would also suggest making the Moses basket nice and warm so the transition from being held to being put down is less of a shock. Blast the sheets with a hairdryer or pop a hot water bottle in the Moses basket to warm it up before putting baby down.
Also check they are well winded- babies will fall asleep upright on a shoulder quite happily then once you've laid them down decide they've still got wind.
Please don't worry that your baby will never sleep by themselves - a few cuddles at such a young age will not prevent them sleeping when older.

I posted exactly the same thing at 8 weeks i actually thought it was my post because i had the same heading!!!

My ds though was fine at night but not in the day so i had to be tied to the sofa most of the day!! Which sounds like fun but i needed to get things done.

My ds wanted to be carried everywhere too and ppl kept telling me i was going to make him clingy.
But at 19 weeks he very independant.

I basically did it very gradual he now sleeps in his bouncer or pram if weve been for a walk. He has his dummy and i just kept perservering with it!
Basically i sit with him and stroke his face sing sometimes just to calm him dwn.

You could try the sssh pat method and swaddle him. Pick him up when he cries but put him dwn when he is settled
I used to put ds on his side with a blanket behind him and wrap him up loosely swaddled and tuck blanket under matress.
A hot water bottle works well and something that smells of you.
You will prob have a few rough nights but just keep at it and it will be worth it.

HTH
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