4 year age gap - what can I expect?

[TooTiredtoGoogle]

DD will be 4 years and 2 months when DD2 is due in August. DD will be off to school in September and I'm thinking about whether I should get any help for that period post-school / that horrible 'witching hour' between 5-7pm - just someone to look after the baby while I spend some quality time with DD asking about her day at school?

I'm also trying to imagine life with two when one is at school and the other is a newborn?
I returned to work when DD was a year old, and I'm wondering if my desire to return to work will come earlier with the second DC because the babyworld won;t be so novel this time round?

Sorry, so many questions ... any thoughts?

That's almost the exact same age gap I have between ds1 and ds2 and it has worked out sooooooo well

It meant that I was past the post-birth haze when ds1 started school, I've been able to do the school run and enjoy lots of time with ds2 at home.

I found that for the first term of school, ds1 was too exhausted to do much after school and actually needed a nap a couple of times - so reading books while ds2 fed, all of us cuddled on sofa was fine. Tea time could be a bit fraught, but I just made life easy and had lots of fish fingers/mini cottage pies/mini fish pies in the freezer. Twice a week I also took turns with another couple of lovely mums to host playdate + tea, so some nights ds1 was completely catered for.

I have found mat leave has whizzed by . By the time you do the school run in the morning, feed the baby, tidy up,feed baby, put a wash on, feed baby, prep dinner, have a coffee, feed baby, change a few nappies...it's time for the school run again!

I have a 4yr 1mth gap between DS1 and DS2. It was always fine for us. When DS2 was small he didn't need a lot of attention and DS2 could have me at the end of the day. I agree your DD will be tired at the end of the day and not want you much anyway.

I'm now having a 3yr 10mth gap between DS2 and DC3, due in July. I loved having the larger gap and it is great to have the older child have some more independence and not need you for everything.

I had twins that were 4 years and 1 month when Number 3 arrived. I would say it is the perfect age gap!! I wanted it to be shorter but as its turned out, its been brilliant. I think the fact that you can be on maternity leave when your DD starts school is an enormous benefit - it really helped their transition to school so much better - I could arrange playdates, get to be a playground mummy (you'll get to know all the other parents 'cos they'll all want a look / cuddle with the baby!), and I loved it. If the baby is only a month when she starts, she'll be pretty inactive, sleeping and feeding lots and you'll be able to do reading / play games etc with your DD. Would agree with the other poster however that you'll be surprised at how tired your DD is - even though its a shorter day than the nursery days my DC were used to - they were shattered. I also think having a 4 yr old DD is a godsend :-)! My DD was such a help - old enough to understand that she needed to wait for Mummys attention occasionally, but she would help out with getting nappies, loved changing her and helping to bath etc. Its absolutely lovely! Not quite so ideal now DD2 is 18 months and scribbling over DD1's drawings etc!!!

Thanks, sounds like I won't be needing any help in the early newborn days then . Does rather make me a bit to think that DD will be too tired to want much of my attention after school though. I had imagined DD bursting with excitement to tell me about her day at school. I now imagine she'd want to just veg out for a bit.

Did any of you do baby groups with your second? And how was it different to the first?

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