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Now 1yo is beating up the 4yo!

3 replies

butterpieify · 03/03/2011 01:43

I've posted about my DD2 before, but basically, she is 15 months old, lovely, but she is very boisterous. If she gets excited, she hits people. If she likes her food, she shoves it in people's faces to "share". If she sees hair, she giggles and pulls it hard. If she gets hold of certain toys (rattles are particularly bad) she hits people with them. She is very strong and loud, and very, very cute.

However, we have a very nearly 4yo DD1, who is a quiet, odd little thing who likes rules and books. She adores her baby sister and tries to show her books and teddies, or sing songs to her, or hug and kiss her. DD2 squeals in delight, slaps DD1 and grabs hold of her (long) hair and pulls. DD1 cries. DD2 laughs even more.

Gah. Neither child is in the wrong - they are both trying to play, but I can't not react when DD2 makes DD1 cry. I've tried picking her up and saying "no!" firmly, but then DD2 just giggles and headbutts me (trying to kiss) and DD1 thinks that I'm giving DD2 attention when it is DD1 who has been attacked and is crying.

I've started taking DD2 for time out for one minute in her room, but she doesn't understand it - I'm doing it for DD1s benefit more than anything, so she sees that I know that she is being nice - DD2 is getting lots of attention now she is starting to walk and talk, and it is hard enough being nearly four without a walking toy breaking machine dribbling all over your stuff.

They each have thier own personalities - I'm shocked at how opinionated DD2 is, an how strong she is - in fact, she reminds me of my younger sister, and I was much nearer to DD1s personality. Each girl is just trying to be affectionate to her sister, but I think DD1 wants DD2 to be a quiet little dolly (she likes to teach her new words and songs) and DD2 wants DD1 to play wrestle with her - she enjoys much rougher play.

Is this a usual thing with siblings of this age gap? What can I do?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
BooyFuckingHoo · 03/03/2011 01:47

you have described my sons. tehre is a 4 year gap bewtween them and a world of difference in personality. ds2 is learning slowly that hitting isn't allowed. time out didn't work because he was doing it for attention, so now we jsut ignore ignore ignore. i don't expect it to stop altogetehr as siblings will always have spats but he is learning. persevere with the time-out. if she doesn't mean to do it them time out wont work, try distracting when she gets excited.

butterpieify · 03/03/2011 09:48

It's hard though, if I ignore, then poor DD1 feels like I don't care!

OP posts:
notremotelyintofootie · 03/03/2011 09:52

I have the same but a bigger age gap, dd (15 months) constantly beats up her brother who is nearly 12! She pushes him over and pulls up his top to get his belly button and laughs if she hurts him with a toy! Luckily ds adores dd and still plays with her lots but I do feel for him....

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