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Original poster

No replies to birthday invitations

11 replies

redcess · 01/03/2011 11:20

Can anyone give me some advice to calm me down! My 3 year old is having a birthday party this saturday and he is very excited about it.
I have invited 14 of his friends from nursery (I sent the invitations out a few weeks ago). And have had responses from only a handful of parents - which has resulted in only 3 children confirmed as coming.

It is a daycare nursery so there is no specific drop off time each day. Which means I haven't much opportunity to either get to know most of the parents, or either to casually ask if their child will be coming.

I'm feeling very upset at the moment at the thought of having to disappoint my son and cancel the party but it seems unviable to go ahead with such a small number of children.

I'm not even sure what I'm asking advise for - but is this normal to get such a large number of people who do not bother to RSVP?!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

KirstyJC · 01/03/2011 11:27

It is fairly normal, it bugs the hell out otf me too!

I would ask the staff to ask all the parents individually to see if they are coming. You will probably find lots of people either confirm the day before or just turn up! You could also put another note in to the parents ask for confirmation of numbers as not many people have replied and you need to know numbers.

Did you put a 'please RSVP by x date' on the invitations - I found this helped, although you still get some non-responses.

I wouldn't cancel if he is really excited, unless your venue needs a minimum amount. He will love it if anyone turns up, and 3 extra kids will be enough noise to go around!

Hassled · 01/03/2011 11:30

Don't assume it means they won't show up on the day - maybe work on the basis that half of the non-responders will show. It's bloody annoying, I agree, but RSVP-ing is like an alien concept to lots of people.

ben5 · 01/03/2011 11:34

I to would say that more people will turn up. It's just rude not to reply. hope your son enjoys his birthday

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hmmm54 · 01/03/2011 12:06

Can you rope in a few family friends, just in case? It's awful really.

If you're having it at home, 3 is fine for a nursery age party. In fact it works quite well.

Hope you get a few more replies today.

Original poster

redcess · 01/03/2011 12:16

Thanks for getting back to me everyone - it has made me feel a bit better about it all. I think if I can get another couple of kids, plus my own two that would make 7 which sounds OKish.

I have now made a pact with myself to always reply to other children's party invites within a couple of days of receiving them!

OP posts:

PorkChopSter · 01/03/2011 12:16

I'm a convert to something I've seen on here - just putting the date & time on the invite and asking them to RSVP for more information. It encourages a response and stops hundreds of people surprising you by showing up on the day.

Can you ask the nursery people to do a reminder?

PurveyorOfWoo · 01/03/2011 12:21

Do you have a sign out sheet that parents have to sign when dropping off/collecting? If so can you ask if you can put a cover sheet or a post it on the top with a reminder? I have known parents camp out in the nursery room for an hour or so to accost non-repliers.

However on the other hand when my DD had her 3rd birthday and invited 18 nursery mates we had an overwhelming response and I didn't have to chase . Only 1 declined - I was expecting a 50% turn out at best so had to upgrade to a bigger party room in the softplay

WincyEtNightie · 01/03/2011 12:31

Can you send a follow up note via nursery staff? Keep it light - please could you let us know by X date if you can make DS's party as we need to confirm numbers with the venue. Restate your contact details (text & email popular as it's hard to find a convenient time with a 3 year old).

We got one of these a while back. I was delighted as the original invite had gone astray at nursery. I immediately contacted the mum to explain and we weren't the only ones. If she hadn't followed up we would never have known and she'd have thought we were the (fairly widespread!) type who don't RSVP .

MCos · 02/03/2011 21:14

Another thing that works is RSPV Regrets only.

That is the norm in our school. It seems people are better at telling you when they can't attend than they are at telling you when they can.

babyapplejack · 02/03/2011 21:20

Agree with the others - don't be upset about it because lots of people don't reply. I have had this with DS's parties and it is really irritating. I have had to say to the place it's at - can I pay for the ones who have confirmed and just have some standby places. Fortunately they hold loads of parties, must be used to this nonsense and let me do it that way.

Loopymumsy · 03/03/2011 20:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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