Weaning from a Dummy

[AnnaCam]

Hi all,

I know there are hundreds and hundreds of posts on the internet with advice on how to wean a baby from a dummy. However, none seem to answer my query.

My DS is 5 months and has used a dummy from about 3 weeks old. Initially he used it during the day on and off, but gradually we started just using it at night. It was introduced as he was a really sucky baby, and it totally changed his personality. I also used it to lengthen time between feeds as at 12 weeks, I was still doing 3 or 4 feeds at night.

Since I have given up BF at 3.5 months, he has become dependent on it to sleep, waking sometimes every half hour through the night.

I started using the pantley gentle removal technique, removing it before he fell asleep. I also try to nap him without it, by taking him out in the pram or car seat where it was easier to teach him to fall asleep without it.

Now here is the dilemma, for which I can't find the answer. He has done so well with dummy removal that he will now go to sleep at 7 without it. I put him down awake and he takes himself off in about 5 mins. He doesn't cry, just sort of sings or shouts for it, then falls asleep. He will then wake a couple of times before the night feed for it, but we don't give in and he goes back to sleep without the dummy after only 2-3 mins of grumbling. He doesn't really cry, I wouldn't let him cry it out. If he gets really upset I give it back, then wait till he has calmed and remove it before he goes back to sleep. This has worked so well, that he will now go through the night without it.

However, he still wakes up all the time for it and is grumbling throughout the night, by about 5am I am knackered from trying to shush him to sleep. Most of the time he will drop off, but sometimes I do give in. I still have to use it for nap times at home. He will go for a nap really easily without it, but will wake up after half an hour and won't go back to sleep without the dummy. I'm so keen that he gets good sleep in the day I do use it.

My quesion is this....do you think I am causing confusion by allowing him the dummy just to nap in the day, but not letting him have it at night? Also, not that he will go through the night without it, how long will it take before he stops waking several times crying out for it? I really need him and me to get better sleep...!!

Any suggestions gratefully received!

My DS was the same as you - at 5 months we managed to take it away to the extent that he could go to sleep at night without it, and sometimes for naps in the day. He really struggled in the early hours of the morning though.

So we still let him have it during the early hours when he really needed it, and for helping him sleep in the day if he needed it. It didn't seem to confuse him - he just got used to going off to sleep without it, but if he woke during the night needing it, he got it.

From about 7 months old he was able to put the dummy back in himself, so we started leaving them in the cot after he had gone to sleep - usually just before we went to bed. We also attached them to a toy called a Sleepytot - it's a cuddly rabbit that you can attach dummies to - makes it much easier for your baby to find them in the night.

He is now nearly one, and never goes to sleep at night with his dummy, but always seems to find it in the night. The way I see it, is he will eventually not sleep in the day at all, so won't need it then anyway, plus he can go to sleep at night without it, so I'm really not bothered if he has it during the night if it helps him. Believe me, once they can find it themselves it changes everything - it shouldn't be much longer for you now if you can ear it!

Hope this helps!

sorry, I meant to type bear not ear!

Yes, it's the early hours he really struggles to get back to sleep without it...from about 4am onwards. This morning though he managed to get to 7pm without it!! But woke on and off for 2-3 hours.

The only problem is that from about 5.30 he is awake and will only go back to sleep in my bed...At the moment I don't mind having him for the last hour or so, as long as it doesn't get any earlier. He is moving into his own room next week so i'm hoping he may sleep better.

I've got a sleepytot but haven't started using it, I will start!

I think I'll carry on trying to not use it and hope that eventually he'll realise that if he falls asleep without it, he can stay asleep.

Thanks!

The early hours are always difficult because they have had most of the sleep they need for the night, so struggle to go back to sleep for the last couple of hours!

I know that my DS still wakes at about 5am ish, and will fidget and suck his dummy until going back to sleep.

But, he is totally happy, and we only get woken on the odd occasion that he really can't find it himself!

You will get an unbroken night's sleep soon - promise!

Just wanted to let you know that my DS is now 60 hours no dummy. Decided to take it away for naps as he doesn't need it at night. Turns out all it took was a slight 'tweak' to his nap routine and he forgot all about it!

He's sleeping through the night now, until 6.15'ish. I wish it was 7, but I'm not going to complain! He also spends the entire night in his own bed. I could probably get a few more minutes out of him if he was in my bed, but i don't want to create a bad habit!

I am so pleased that despite what all the 'sleep trainers' seem to say, you can wean a baby from a dummy without the need for tears and tantrums. It may take a little longer, but it's worth it!

AnnaCam - am in exactly the same situation, what tweak did you use?!

Hi..this is what I did....

I started using the Pantley removal technique whenever he needed the dummy (day and night for sleep times only). Like I said, night times seemed to get better and better and now he doesn't need it at all and will sleep straight through to 6.30am. In the beginning, if he cried, I always gave it back, but removed it before he slept. He seemed to totally get the hang of it!

Once night time was sorted I wanted to sort out nap times. Firstly, I started changing how or where I napped him. I was sleeping with him at nap times to keep him asleep by replugging the dummy...this was ok, but frustrating as I'd have to go to bed for 2 hours at lunchtime (sometimes this was nice, but every day was a pain!). I started trying to nap him in the car or pram where he fell asleep more easily without the dummy...he'd also stay asleep without it.

I did this for a couple of weeks, not every nap, but when I could. If he cried I still gave him the dummy...my view was always that sleep with the dummy is better than not sleeping at all and crying all day. I knew that if he didn't get enough sleep, the nights would be more difficult.

During this time we moved him to his own room to sleep at night. I only did this once I was convinced he could stay asleep all night without the dummy. Turns out, he sleeps a lot better in his own room. In the early hours he no longer needs the dummy to stay asleep.

So once nights were established, I thought, well if you can sleep all night without your dummy, you can nap at home without it too. So one morning, I followed the same routine I do at night for the first morning nap (minus the milk feed). I left my son awake without the dummy (he has a little square lovey he likes to rub on his face, I think he sucks it too!) - I couldn't believe it when he fell asleep after 2 minutes of groaning. He didn't stay asleep longer than one sleep cycle, but I had already decided I didn't care how long he slept, he just had to fall asleep without it. I then decided to try the same thing at lunch...slightly more grizzly, but again fell asleep for 2 sleep cycles. I was amazed!

Now he sleeps the morning and lunchtime nap in his cot, without his dummy. He has an hour in the morning and up to 2 at lunchtime. He does cry a bit to get to sleep..but it's not a painful cry. I leave him tucked in bed and give him 4 minutes. He sort of groans (as though he is sucking) and then screams as he goes off to sleep, then there is silence, then he repeats this a couple of times before going to sleep. It doesn't bother me that he cries a bit...I like to think he is saying something like 'christ I'm shattered, I need to sleep!'. If he hasn't fallen asleep after 4 minutes I go in and place a hand on his chest and sort of rock him back and forth. This seems to work...

The routine I follow for nap time is...

• put on quiet music
• remove socks and trousers
• change nappy
• Close curtains and dim the lights
• quiet cuddle and chat on a rocking chair
• PLace in crib and zip up sleeping bag
• half swaddle (I leave one arm out) - this is critical, he won't go to sleep without it
• quick cuddle in crib...rub lovey against his face
• turn off music and put on white noise (he listens to the rain)
• turn off lights and shut door

If he doesn't go to sleep or wakes early I shush pat and rock his chest.

He's been without dummy since tuesday. I haven't cracked the nap later in the day yet..I go for a drive or a walk as by this time it's more difficult for him to drop off...but i'm determined not to give back the dummy. If he is really bad, I offer a finger to suck on, but he's not really interested anymore.

Since removing the dummy he sleeps so much better....night times are great, but even more importantly nap times have extended without me having to intervene.

I'm really chuffed that he's off the dummy without tears or CIO ...

Hope this helps...!! Happy to answer any questions..

That really helps, thank you! [sorry, been off investigating the pantley removal system ;) ]

Nap times in the car / pram are no problem - can do that as she sleeps very easily that way.

Have just done my first bedtime with the pantley method and not a peep so far. Fingers crossed!

Thanks for all the detail, hope it continues to go so well for you...