8 year old DS doesnt have a 'best friend'

[jewel121]

Hi everyone,
useful comments will be much appreciated.
My 8 year old ds who is quite a sociable lovable cheeky chappy. However off late has been quite withdrawn and making comments that he is lonely and doesnt have a 'best friend'. He has become even more clingy to me and tbh its incredibly suffocating. I do however try my best to reassure him that it will pass. He is an only child and I am a single Mum. We dont have alot of family around and it is pretty much the two of us all day every day. He does have a busy social calender and he enjoys his activites throughout the week which keeps him busy and allows him to interact with other kids. I love being with him and comuunicating with him and we do have an incredible bond(always have) and this helps in getting out his emotions which he feels comfortable to share with me (thankfully)> However it is troubling for me to hear him like this.

Please suggest some advice as i already think ive covered most things.

Thanks :-)

*communicating

Marking my place. DS is going through the same.

Having said that, I have heard a lot of mums complaining about the same, that their children do not have any friends, even when DS has told me everybody wants to be friends with them

I don't know what to think anymore...

I know exactly what you mean. There are days im being told just how everybody is his friend. And then i get days like today...

In saying that though i think what they mean is that one true friend. For my DS he doesnt really have that interaction with other kids after the 6 o'clock or at weekends. We have recently joined a football team which he really enjoys and truly lights up at being part of a team.

My dd is 8 and does not have a best friend. She keeps trying to 'find one' as she puts it but never seems to. Would not say she had a good circle of friends really either. I am trying very hard not to get worked up about it and tell her sooner or later she will find someone.

Your ds sounds like a wonderful child. I was on my own with my ds when he was younger (now 14) and we were and are very very close. He clearly feels very secure to be able to talk to you. I am sure you and he will always have a very special relationship, the rest will come in time.

I think that boys are less likely to have a best friend. I would encourage things outside school. Cubs is really good for friendships-especially on camp where they have to get on.

HAve you invited any over to play after school? That can really help them bond.

Thanks everyone :-) @slipperandpjsmum- thank you. We have a very special bond and i do feel extremely thankful to have such a wonderful child. Although thats one of the reasons seeing him down can create a frustration in me- we try to 'fix' everything sometimes. And im beginning to realsie that its just not possible. @exoticfruits interestingly you say that because we resume at Cubs this week. He use to be in Beavers but when we moved the distance was too much so we didnt go. I hope he makes great friends there. Cub scouts is wonderful. I gained alot of life experience and made fab friends when i was a Brownie. lol
So onwards and upwards. I think its defiantely a passing phase. @seejanekick - we have done playdates etc but timetable and weather doesnt really permit muc these days- as the days become lighter perhaps we will begin those again.

Thanks again everyone...means alot x

Would agree with others who mention playdates, my DS does very few 'activities' but has lots of playdates and has 2/3 'best' friends.

He is an only child too (so far...) so I try to make a big effort with playdates, am going to try to make more effort on activities too but playdates definately cement friendship IMO.

I mentioned cubs because I think going away overnight really helps cement friendships-they often come back having made a friend of someone they had never really considered before.

I do think that boys don't really do the best friend thing. I have 2 older boys and can honestly say neither has ever had what you call a best friend. Just boys who are friends. They have always been perfectly happy with this.

My DS is 5 - 6 in May. He seems to be friends with everyone but doesn't have one specific friend. We have friends over for playdates and he does a rugby club. He is going to start Beavers soon. I work at his school and from what I've seen the girls seem to be more likely to have one best friend, whereas the boys play in big groups. However, he seems quite happy.

I wish I'd read my reply properly. I mean he is currently 5 and will be 6 in May :)