Any ideas to calm down a 'communicative' 3mnth old baby

[Sistermoondance]

I recently posted because I had had a very bad few days with my dd screaming loads :-( thank goodness she is back to her normal self but....

I am frustrated that if I go out to groups she usually cries most of the time so I don't get to talk to other mums, when I wander round the shops I have to keep
Moving or she starts screaming, that a grumbling cry turns into full blown screaming so quickly that if I don't work out what she wants in a nano second then forget it- I will be calming her down for the next half hour before we can do anything else... Etc

I know tiredness makes her worse so I do everything i can to try to encourage day time naps. But she is getting to the stage where I want to be playing with simple toys with her encouraging her to grab, and sit up with help and strengthen her limbs etc but I find that I am so busy calming her that I don't have as many oportunities to help her develop as I would like.

I accept that this is her personality and I may have no choice but to put up with it until she grows out of it, but has anyone got tips for calming a screaming baby? Preferably ones that don't involve carrying her about because my back is wrecked!

Thanks

Be led by her. She might be feeling massively overstimulated so stay home with her and be calm. if she's finding it all a bit much. 3 months is very, very young to be expecting her to go to groups and deal with all that.

first off if you have ruled out all the usual things that might be wrong including colic,talk to your HV to see what they suggest.i found with all my 3 as long as they had something to occupy their hands like a favourate blanket or toy they were fine but obviously that comes with time.

First, I would say don't feel that you have to encouraging her to grab or sit up, or help strengthen her limbs. She is too young to sit up yet, and her limbs don't need to be strengthened - that happens automatically.

Not saying don't play with her, but do let her have some time alone on her mat with her toys occasionally.

I may have misunderstood your meaning, but you really don't have to be "training" her in any way.

Then I would see if you think that she is in any pain - colic perhaps?

Three months is a typical time for babys to have a growth spurt which turns even good natured babies into little whingers. She may be hungrier than normal so offer her a bit more milk if she will take it.

I didn't see your other thread so apologies if you've already said, but have you tried a cloth sling? If you are having to hold her a lot to sooth her it would give your back a bit more support.

If you "sit" her up against you and jiggle your legs does it settle her for a bit? My friend does this with her 4mo to great effect and it also worked well for my DD, she liked being able to see around the room whilst still being close to mummy and "jiggled".
If you think that being out and about is maybe too stimulating for your DD, will she settle in the pram being rocked? I totally get that you need some social contact, could you go to your group but leave baby in the pram where she feels safe, or let her sleep in the car seat?

Alternatively do you have a friend or relative who can come with you to the group you like best, then they can help you with baby and give you a bit more chance to make friends? Or maybe try a group with slightly older babies who are crawling/walking, there are only three non-sitting babies at the group I go to and there is no shortage of volunteers to hold them while their mums have a cup of tea.

My friend had a "whinger" and we used to dress for the weather then walk pushing the prams for a couple of hours having a good old chinwag, could you do that? He improved dramatically at about 14 weeks (I think it was once he could see properly) so fingers crossed for you.

Thanks, I will def try jiggling my legs while she sits on my lap.

I am not sure if you misunderstood me or not- I am not trying to train her... Just a few mins tummy time as suggested by health visiter and playing for no more than 5 mins either showing pics in a black and White book or simple rattle or singing a nursery rhyme. I do sometimes help her sit up when she is sitting on my tum, resting her back against my legs. She seems to try to sit up so I offer her my hands and she pulls herself to sitting up. I don't think that is too much and just what she seems to want. Although perhaps I am encouraging her too much- should I just be feeding her and cuddling her?

I only go to one group for first time mums and I really like it so would be loathe to give it up and I often walk her for a couple of hours just to get a break. I may give the sling a go when my back is a bit better :(

Sorry, perhaps I misunderstood. It seemed like you were trying to stimulate her, when tbh, I think that life itself is pretty damn stimulating for a wee baby. Nothing wrong with playing with her but I would not encourage her to sit up yet.

My paediatrician said that it was best not to sit - or prop - babies up until they are actually able to do this themselves as it is not good for their spines.

I would recommend trying a baby massage class if there's one close to you. My local children centre ran a short course for £1 a session which I really enjoyed with my DS when he was 3 months. Its a great way for a bit of gentle socialising, relaxing for your baby and you can pick up some techniques to use at home.