Teen with a serious mental health diagnosis.

[Kerryjones]

Any one else coped with a teen with a serious mental health diagnosis? My Teen has lots of good appropriate mental health professional support, but I am feeling I could do with some too!

No... But I was diagnosed with clinical depression at 14 so maybe I could help from the other side :)

The worst thing my parents did was ignore it. They didn't say anything abut it, never asked me how I was, never gave me a hug, nothing. They took me to counseling appointments and that was it. It was awful and made me so much worse because I thought I had done something wrong and they didn't love me. My mum has since told me that they were both terrified of saying something 'wrong' and making it worse. I still can't quite get my head around that but that's water under a bridge.

I can also imagine that it would be extremely irritating to be constantly asked about it and checked up on! Hard balancing act then :)

Something that would have really helped me would have been for my parents to take away my vast collection of scary books and films. Some 'teen' fiction (think Point Horror, Point Crime etc.) is completely unsuitable for anyone to read, full of horrific, graphic details and psychological manipulation. TBH I think books like that aimed at teens should be banned. The stuff I read and watched then still gives me nightmares. Be aware that horror films are fairly standard at teenage sleep overs. Please don't allow concern for your teen's rights to choose what they read and watch overrule common sense and parental responsibility. Your child is in a very vulnerable place right now.

I don't which mental illness your teen has been diagnosed with but whatever it is, they will definitely be feeling scared too. Could you and your DH make an appointment to see your GP or other relevant HP for advice on what generally helps? There could be some specific things to avoid or other things to do that would be really great. There might also be a support group in your local area that you might find helpful.

My best advice: love them, hug them, reach out to them and never give up.

We are waiting for a psych apptmt for dd. Terrified for her

This is really helpful, especially the parents section:

www.youngminds.org.uk/

If your teen has a mental health team working with them, ask their nurse/worker for information about carers support because they should be able to help you to access this.

Does she have CAHMS involvement. They may be able to point you in the right direction. If you can't find what you are looking for set it up yourself.

I second AKMD. I have suffered with depression - not in my teens but in my twenties. I also sometimes felt like my parents didn't know what to do/say so sometimes seemed distant which made me feel even more alone. Let your dc know they can talk to you about ANYTHING. Also the Samaritans can be useful. I have volunteered for them and they are completely confidential - even more so than HCPs. It can allow them to vocalise/explore their darkest thoughts without scaring/worrying their loved ones. Sometimes getting these thoughts out in the open can make them less real and frightening.

Obv I don't know what your diagnosis is, so if there is perhaps some degree of psychosis involved I know how hard communication can be. My bro has had complex problems and my parents have had a terrible time of it as he is not very compliant with treatment and they are not clued up on his treatment/diagnosis as he refused to consent to disclose info to them, yet he was living at home! My dad actually ended up with anxiety symptoms as they felt so helpless. He has even confessed to calling the Samaritans too as he just had to vent but was protecting my mum so didn't always open up to her. My bro now has a job and his own flat and is gradually sorting himself out and the only treatment he needs now is basic ADs. I really hope your dc gets the right help and you do too. x

Have you looked into counselling for yourself? When dd was going through a lot of health issues last year, I got counselling sessions through my employer- they helped enormously by just giving me a short time each week when I could think about being me rather than dd's mum.

Wow, didn't really expect replies, thank you! All very helpful. Have looked at YoungMind which is good, and lots of other stuff on the web, which is variable! Rethink are also good. My teen and I can talk which is great, and taking medication is not a problem, also great..... but none of us wants our child to go through anything this tough. Am just trying to do each day as it comes and not get caught up in future worries, and encouraging teen to do the same. Good to hear of someone getting sorted, thanks MsScarlett.

Oh and good luck IloveTIFFANY hope the appt goes well. I was anxious about my Teen's first appt too, Hope she finds it helpful and you do as well.