I've named-changed for this, as I think he knows my normal user name.
My son is in his 20's and has had some 'social issues' in the past, he was taking recreational drugs and consequently accrued a lot of debt through this. Over the past couple of years he's worked really hard at turning his life around (I hate that phrase, but it's so true) he's got himself a career, he's clean (almost tee-total) he's paid off his debts..he's really pulled himself up by his bootstraps.
As part of getting himself clean, he had to dump a lot of his friends. They were all using together, and the friendships were not healthy. Son is a soft touch, (and stupid)he used to buy cocaine for them all on his payday, then they all for bought him for the rest of the month.
So, present day. He's slowly got himself a new bunch of friends. They sometimes play football together, days out to theme parks etc...and it's someones birthday this weekend.
They've arranged to go out of town and stay over in hotels....this has been planned for ages, months.
He's been increasingly snappy with me this past week......and half an hour before he was due to be picked up this evening, he's burst into the room, in tears, saying he's not going, that people just let you down, that it's a waste of time going as he's booked 2 rooms, that one isn't even going to be used now.
I've sat with him - he cried, I hugged him, and he's said he really is scared of going out. It's not the money for the rooms that's bugging him (they have all paid up to him) He's been dreading it all week, that he really doesn't feel confident enough.
I told him I thought going out of town was a fabulous thing to do, as he could 'invent' a persona and pretend he was anyone, that no-one 'there' would know anything of his past, would only be able to judge him on the person he was today.
And I almost pushed him out of the door.
Now I feel terrible, I'm the one in tears.
I hope he goes out, has an amazing time, gets to 'spread his wings' and become the person he used to be again... but obviously clean this time - but I have a really horrible feeling he'll go, book into his hotel room and stay there.
There is no need to reply to this, I just needed to see if I feel any less guilty putting this all down........