What do your 8 and 10 yr olds do for leisure?

[inchoccyheaven]

I have 2 boys 8 and 10 and I am finding it difficult to know what to do with them or suggest they do either after school or at weekends etc.

They usually play on the laptop, wii or ds, or watch tv which means they aren't very active. We do have a trampoline which they play on a lot in summer but otherwise they don't often play out unless their friends come round.
I would like to get them out more but money is tight so free activities would be best.

I am not an outdoors kind of person and quite often don't leave the house unless I have to go somewhere specific which probably sounds sad but I am perfectly happy being indoors.

So what do your kids do to occupy themselves?

My DS is very sporty so he does lots of after school activities - cricket, rugby, football, swimming etc - weekends are usually sport as well.

We go walking quite a bit (which he hates but we feel is good for him ). We go camping/youth hostelling in the summer (or I get DH to take him!). We have a local park so I encourage him to play there. I drag him to the museum, library etc.

However he isn't very good at amusing himself, I still feel he watches far too much tv/playstation (I don't allow wii, ds etc).

Sorry - probably not much help - are your boys in Cubs?

My DC would spend all their time on their scooters or bikes if they could. Luckily we live in a quite cul de sac, so I can let them spend hours doing so. Otherwise they trash the house by playing pillow fights, nerf gun fights, car giths, or any other fights.

Ragwort, my ds1 plays cricket but that is just training once a week at the moment for a couple of hours. My ds2 hates any kind of sport and he did try cubs about a month a go as a lot of his friends go but they played a volley ball game all session so he came out very upset ( he had been so excited to go )as he didn't enjoy it at all.

Both boys will amuse themselves to the point where I feel redundant most of the time as any game I suggest we play is boring. I have taken them swimming sometimes which they enjoy so should do that more I guess.

Crazyhorse they play out on their bikes and scooters if their friends are out but won't do it if it is just the 2 of them :(

I could have written your post! My boys are 11 and 8 and are exactly the same..

We have a lovely big garden with trampoline, lawn, big flat terrace, goal posts, basketball hoop etc but they rarely play out unless their friends are around, or unless DH & I are actually in the garden ourselves (which isn't that often...)

In summer the things which keep them out a bit longer is swingball and a badminton net. When it snowed they were out in the front (a sloping cul-de-sac) for hours!

So I'd be interested to know the answer to the question too! Do people actually chuck their kids outside - perhaps we're too soft!?

I nearly forgot - we also play endless board games, some are 'vintage' (ie: from DH's youth and he's over 50 ). Also play lots of card games - whist etc (do we sound very old fashioned?).

My Ds does say 'this is boring' to walks, some games, some activities but my attitude is 'tough' - just get on with it. I don't think your DS should give Cubs up after just one session - can you encourage him to go back. I am quite strict, I do not allow my DS much choice in what he does, he has moaned about things in the past but (unless there is a really serious problem) I just make him go to activities, clubs etc (he moans but always comes back saying that he had an good time). In my opinion there is still far too much time spent watching the TV.

Whippet, glad I'm not the only one :)

Ragwort, we sometimes have games evenings but they prefer it if we all play ( inc oh) rather than just me, although me and ds1 do play wii party on our own which is fun despite the fact I lose more than I win haha.
I do tell them it is tough if they say there isn't anything to do and I have said no more tv or electrical things and they usually go and play lego then or ds2 will read.
I would have liked ds2 to give cubs another go but unless I was going to physically drag him into the building then he just wouldn't go back and as it was the first thing he had ever wanted to do and is supposed to be doing for fun then I won't force him. He was devestated and sobbed for most of the evening when he came out as he had really been looking forward to it after his friends said it was good, and he just didn't think it was :(

Totally agree about too much tv, just waiting for summer so they will go outside more :)

I also think my kids spend too much 'screen' time, but then I think about what exercise/sport they do:

• rugby or football at school 2 x 1 hour
• 1 hour PE
• 1.5 hours cricket on Sunday
• a walk or cycle with us at the weekend
• DS2 also does a 3 hour drama thing which is a lot of movement/on your feet stuff

We do have a 30 min limit on 'computer/ wii' time, but this gets relaxed a little at school holiday time/if the weather's bad.

Like you though, I just wish they would go off and play more ON THEIR OWN - it's sad, but they just don't seem to have much initiative of their own.

If I suggest something (e.g. a playfight in the garden with nerf guns) they will usually go off and do it, but it only lasts 10-15 mins and then they're back again!

I have this a little with our boys too, but I strictly limit time in front of the screen so they HAVE to do something else. I actually do sometimes turf them outside (we have a green in front of the house) with scooters/football etc if they are "moping".

I feel you have to lead by example though - we are quite an active family and do lots of cycling/camping/out door type things so that helps.

It is harder to motivate them when I am busy but I am quite strict like other posters and usually they come round.

The screen time limit is the source of MUCH moaning but I think it's important, so it stays!

Hi
I have a 12 year old boy who is a great kid. I am sure all our children are great, but he has got in with some boy at school that is not so great, this boy has been borrowing money from him and also getting him to down load school work for him and printing it out for him so he can take in into school, he is not getting bullied but this kid just knows how to manipulate my son.
What can I do I have tried speaking with my son who tells me its none of my business the other day we had an argument about this he called me a white boy the other child is from Zimbabwe I have met him he is very street wise kid for sure I think the language he is picking up from his new found friend he as also started for no reason pulling his pant down over his hips?
? What?s going on should I go to the school. Or just leave it and hope it turns out ok.
Any ideas thank your I have raised my son by myself from being 1 year old other then this we have a great relationship thank you

Hi Marcus

If you start a new thread in this 'Parenting' topic (or perhaps in 'Teenagers' and copy your post, I think you will get some help and more responses.

Your post may not be seen in this 'thread'.

I'm sure some mumsnetters will be happy to share their advice and experiences Good luck!

FWIW,I think you need to start a new topic Marcus. My DH is a teacher and uses a piece of software which picks up plagiarism. Could you point out to your DS that it is possible that his school does too and, as the person who downloaded it, HE will be in trouble.
Not sure about the trouser thing, I've got a DD and if things aren't up around her waist she moans.

I think you are right about leading by example Zest and that is probably where some of the problem lies as I am not the outdoors type of person at all. I don't like going for walks etc. Much happier being indoors on laptop, reading or watching tv, so no surprise I guess that my boys are the same.
I used to get dragged on walks and trips when I was younger and didn't really enjoy it but of course didn't have a choice then.

It isn't an issue that ds2 doesn't want to go back to cubs and I did explain to him they do lots of different activites and he still didn't want to go so we have left it. I am sure he will find his niche eventually,or not. Either way I am sure he will be fine. he is sociable at school and friends so not isolated at all.

Apart from walks and sports there must be something else I can suggest they do ??

cat I am not saying they don't go outside on bikes scooters etc ever,in fact they walk or bike/scooter to school every day. It is just that they mainly play outside when weather is nicer and they have their friends round. In summer they spent a lot of time outside building dens etc and on the trampoline.
I wanted suggestions for things to do when the weather is crap and they say they are bored but I don't want them to be on laptop or watching tv. They play with their lego but I was looking for inspiration for what else I could suggest to them.

As your children don't have screen time at weekends etc what do they do, that is what I am interested to know. Do you watch tv as a family as we like watching things like dad's army or ant and dec at the weekend together or do you just not have tv on?

I can't be the only one who needs things to be cheap or free?

I have DD's aged 5,10 & 12. They do still come out on walks with me, reluctantly at the start of each walk or adventure, but they soon forget that they aren't enjoying it. I try to make it a functional walk. Good tempts for me are:-

Borrowing a dog to walk - they love it and don't want to go home.
Accidentally leaving the car somewhere else and having to go and get it - usually unvolves me having a rare drunk night out beforehand (such commitment, I know)...
Walking to see someone I know they want to visit.

We also have challenges like having to get to a certain place but only being allowed to step on tarmac for 10 footsteps (requires them to plan the route and gets them trying to outdo each other to minimse footsteps.

Also we have a woods nearby where they have built swings and can climb treesso they do that as well, the older two at least. It is within screaming distnace of the house....

I also have a thing where we have to go somewhere we have never been before on a sunday. I live on an island 3 miles long so this is quite challenging! We have been in tunnels, up different paths. They also don't mind this as we actually can't go very far from where we know.

My DH also kicks them out during school hols when he thinks they have been inside too much - they hate it at first but get used to it.

A trampoline seems to have done the trick for the last year. Also they have guinea pigs outside and so they play with them - not so much in the winter,but a lot in the other seasons.

It helps that they know deep inside that they will probably have a good time in the end and so tolerate the start.

It is hard to prise them out of the door, though. I think in conclusion,a lot of this is about me joining in and leading the gang, but to be honest I need the exercise as well and it is nice to spend time together having a laugh as I work full time. I also like the fact that while they are not in the house, they are not making a mess. The crumbs will be eaten by the birds...

Forgot to day that the best fun we had last year was sleeping outside on the trampoline so we could fall asleep under the stars.

It was fab - lots of duvets , blankets and sleeping bags under us and over us, and three of us just lying there watching the milky way and naming stars, and looking for satellites and shooting stars and aeroplanes. And then waking up to find the stars had all moved - even the ones we had named - the cheek of it! And then waking up cold at 5am and dragging ourselves back into the house with damp blankets.

The older girls lovesd it and can't wait till the weather gets better so we can do it again.

I feel like I am living on borrowed time and that one day soon they won't want to do these things so I'd better make the most of it now...

Forgot to SAY,not DAY - oops!