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Parenting

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Original poster

I don't enjoy being a Mum. Am i alone?

9 replies

tazzytaz · 26/02/2011 16:48

I have 2 DD's aged 3 1/2 and 2 and generally they are lovely girls and I do love them. The older one in particular is a really good girl. But I feel that I can't cope with them and am not a good mother. I shout at them hideously, screaming at the top of my voice (I'm yelling at older DD now because she wont give me 5 mins peace to write this).
Motherhood is not the pink and fluffy I expected and I feel dreadful for them and bitterly disappointed. :(

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

TheArmadillo · 26/02/2011 16:52

I could have guessed you had children around that age. HOwever good they are toddlers/preschoolers are hard work, demanding all your attention and time and you have 2 of them.

As they get older they will get easier. Going to school makes a huge difference.

PaperView · 26/02/2011 17:08

I don't like it very much either truth be told. ANd only one of mine is that age.

MamaVoo · 26/02/2011 17:25

Oh yes the visions of motherhood, where it's always sunny and you're strolling serenely in the park with your well behaved child. We set ourselves up for disappointment.

Anyway, I think you're either someone who really enjoys having babies and toddlers or you're normal not. I love DS more than anything and do enjoy a fair bit of my time with him, but it's so bloody constant and I can't wait till he goes to school [kicks self for not having a summer baby so I could send him this year].

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ladymarian · 26/02/2011 19:53

in a word no!!
t
Toddlers and pre-schoolers are such hard work and demand every second of your time.

Don't feel guilty

Original poster

tazzytaz · 26/02/2011 21:52

Thank you so much for your replies. The truth is I can't wait for them to go to school but feel deeply guilty that I'm wishing away these 'precious' early years. I also feel guilty because we have a nice house etc and so feel that I should be able to cope! I do have a few close Mummy friends but they all have 2 boys each, so then I feel pathetic for not being able to cope with 2 girls, and a couple of them are even talking about having a 3rd child - I couldn't think of anything worse!!

OP posts:

TheArmadillo · 26/02/2011 22:11

It took me 6 years to have another child after ds. And he wasn't that difficult a child. Other people think I'm mad and that you should have them all close together to get the difficult bits all over at once.

I find babies and preschoolers very hard work - I could never cope with 2 at the same time. But school age children I like. I have a 6 month old at the moment and it is definately counting down the days until she is older and easier even though she's quite a good baby and I have a dh at home full time (I work). Dh on the other hand quite enjoys her at this age.

Different people are good with different ages.

Some people get on well with teenagers while others find them hard work and preschoolers easy.

they all require different skills and no one can possibly be good at all of it.

TheArmadillo · 26/02/2011 22:13

I am a much better parent now - I rarely shout etc with an older child. Partly because a lot of my issues are being treated but partly just because I can cope with an older child - I understand him and he understands me.

HomeintheSun · 27/02/2011 11:56

Tazzytaz thank you I could have written this (apart from ages 4 and 16 months and sex of DC boy and girl) I see my friends and they all appear to be much better mums than me, I've never seen them shouting, whereas I feel sometimes that's all I do everyday and I feel guilty everytime I shout, and also feel bad for wanting/needing time to myself. I love my DC so much and everyday want to have a good day but hardly ever get one, I find myself looking forward to their bedtime.
DS was really good all day yesterday but then he spoilt it by kicking his sister and shoving her off a chair.
DH works long hours and will be going away for 4 months, I am dreading this time as it's over the summer holidays, DH will miss DS first day at school, and DD 2nd birthday. But knowing that I am not alone feeling like this is a comfort, thank you ladies.

MsScarlett · 27/02/2011 14:39

Oh god! I have a 7 week old and feel like this! I hoped it would pass, but I'm guessing from your example I may feel like this for 5 years yet! I think if everyone was completely honest they'd admit to feelings like this, but noone wants to in case they are viewed as bad mothers...

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