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Parenting

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Original poster

Can you get too attached to your baby?

9 replies

MogadoredMemoo · 25/02/2011 13:10

I won't bore you all with the tale of my pnd again but just wanted to mention it briefly because I feel it may be relevant.

Dd2 is 17 months and I adore her. If fact I would go as far as to say I am obsessed with her. I can't stop cuddling her and kissing her. I love the way she smells so much I could sit and sniff her all day. I have never been apart from her except for the few weeks I was in hospital. I can't stand it if dh tries to take her out or to visit his parents. I want to bring her into my bed at night just to be close to her but dh won't let me.

Am I totally mad?

OP posts:

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aviatrix · 25/02/2011 13:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Besom · 25/02/2011 13:18

Ah no, I think this is perfectly normal when they are small and still so dependent on you. I suppose you will have to restrain yourself a bit as she gets older and she needs her own space. But just enjoy it for the meantime!

KazBarTFG · 25/02/2011 13:20

Well done for coping with PND and being able to tell the tale

Perhaps you are making up for lost time?

When my dd was born i woke in the night crying on many occasions because I had dreamt that someone was taking her away from me. My love for her was and is still overwhelmingly fierce - I honestly was not prepared for the rush of love that swept over me as soon as they put her on my chest.

So, I understand your 'addiction' as it were, but I'm a little that you don't want to be separated at all...what about your other dc? Does anyone else get a look in here?

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BlingLoving · 25/02/2011 13:22

Actually, I don't think this is normal. I can totally understand you wanting to be her main carer etc, but to not even be happy if DH takes her out for an hour or two? That seems a bit too much to me. By now surely you should be appreciating at least a little time away from her, even if it's just for an hour? And how does it make your husband feel that you won't let him have her alone for even a short while?

Wanting to be with your DC is normal, but I do think you should be also encouraging more between her and DH and gaining at least a little independence for yourself.

Besom · 25/02/2011 13:27

Actually memoo - have just read that again. When you say 'dh tries to take her out' do you not let him? If he does take her out and you are just feeling you miss her - that's OK. But if you actively stop him from taking her I think you need to stop doing that. It'll get easier.

suiledonne · 25/02/2011 13:29

You sound like me (I also had PND). My 2 girls are 2 and 4 and I am still co-sleeping with dd2 and dd1 spends a lot of nights in with us still.

I've always been a SAHM and don't have much in the way of outside help so the girls have rarely spent much time away from me. When they were younger I found it hard to relax even if they were with DH but that's not a problem these days.

DD1 goes to pre-school for 3 hours a day and I really look forward to collecting her.

I am very affectionate with my two too.

Just a word of warning though my dd1 is seeing a play therapist at the moment as she has problems with anxiety and other issues.

From speaking to the therapist I realise that some of the problems were caused by my being too obsessed and uptight about her. I was always over-cautious and nervous around her and it has rubbed off on her. It isn't anything too serious but I do feel guilty that it is my fault. My PND was undiagnosed/untreated for a long time which didn't help.

My advice would be to love, kiss, cuddle and snuggle all you and dd want but don't lose yourself to the point that you can't wnjoy a moment without her.

Original poster

MogadoredMemoo · 25/02/2011 13:45

I have two other children and I would be the same with them too but they are 10 and 12 and so won't let me! They do still come and cuddle up on the couch sometimes.

Worded my op badly, do let dh take her out but hate every second of it. Have never let anyone else look after her though.

OP posts:

KazBarTFG · 25/02/2011 14:06

Well in that case, enjoy it while it lasts OP - they don't stay babies for long I hear!

You're not mad

musicmaiden · 25/02/2011 14:31

They are gorgeous and lovely and smell divine and are easy to cuddle to bits at that age - who wouldn't be a little obsessed, there's nothing wrong with that.

But being a mother is only part of what you are and must not lose yourself. Short spells away from her and your other DC are a good idea for all of you. Use them to do lovely things for yourself - whatever you fancy and don't usually have time for (reading, napping, long bath, etc...).

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